a dim lit haze where shadows play
moonlight whispers memories away
in smoky air dreams of yesteryears
linger
silent footsteps
lead hearts to home
this city's a ghost of love's refrain
lost the rhythm of the midnight train
beneath the stars secrets unfold,
embers of romantics fill the night's cold stranglehold
melodies float in darkened skies,
the dance of lonely hearts none too wise
lights flicker like distant dreams
conversations drift on silent streams
in corner booths, shadows dine
glasses toast to borrowed time

shadows whispers
truth dies
dream a lie long enough
quickly becomes reality
deceit twist through the night
born from absence of the light

in a garden of anguish,
madness takes hold
dream a lie long enough
dark undertones

i stood and waved
as i watched you fly
the stars collide
and stardust becomes glitter
you shine
and breathless
we all take a step back

we watched another sunrise from the shoreline
with whispers

this house is on fire
the telephone ignored, still rings
but the silence
this wildness
i close my eyes
take the life once built
a nexus
we'll explain
ill keep up the faced
for them
for them

for them.

we had morning kisses
then they land on your cheek
one quick year later
goodbye morning kisses
how much less can you choose to not give?
the answers may surprise me

a truth beyond the start
i know you don't believe in faith anymore
as midnight lights dance
blurry night time photos memorialized
bells are heard calling you home

trying to remember where I'm heading
but the past pulls me back in every time
i'm drowning in nostalgia and unanswered questions
the faded ceilings tell my story
but i can't write the ending in time
and ends, always incoming

i can dream or wake up if i choose
the chipping paint reveals the past
silence witness to the years gone by way too fast
and as it crumbles memories flash
the echo's fill a room so vast
nostalgic pauses
pretend the present isn't waiting

our best days are gone
but their echoes still persist
long lost melodies
wrapped in thick layers of mist
as I gaze at my childhood ceiling
where my innocence used to reside
i realize
time moves on , no matter how hard we hide

what a price to pay
for a life
it chips away
and inward we go
the mental strain
splits infinity
breaks me

enjoy
that last sunny day
felt the last of their warmth
at nightfall
the chill comes in
the trees prepare for winters sleep
heavy silence of frozen mornings
...the heaviest of silences
a peace unfitting
amidst a world of chaos
just smile
pretend
enjoy

the first day is always the hardest
the sun shines
but i'm blind to it
a coronation but no ones invited
heads down
but not proud if it
the morning papers only filled with sadness
we rifle through it like nothings the matter
internal thinking causing external issues
solve them
or they will harm them

sometimes i catch myself in the mirror and stare
just.
stare.
i don't stare long
but its an uncomfortable amount of time
i look into my eyes
but nothing looks back
i look around my face
what you look at every day
the best presentation of myself
in physical form
this, auto pilot

the clear view from our window
now ***** from both sides
no matter how often i clean mine
the view's filtered through the grime

we all feel the same vibrations
we just need to get onto each others frequencies
...
worst pickup line ever

its all in the delay
taut rope ends
beside a microphone
still, no one hears

we had good morning kisses
now they land on your cheek
hugs, with arms at your side
how much less can you give me?

don't come
stay here
negative tape on repeat
what do you want?
sit in it
the sunlight shines through
surrounding clouds thicken

your mood dictates the day
multiple days
it lingers
muted

am i saying how i really feel?
or what I'm suppose to be feeling?

a life of hidden corners
easily accessed when life gets hard
adding corners doesn't solve the problems
just makes it easier to escape into them

its seems like you have something more to say
and i am here to listen
i'm interested in you
like i always have been
but the walls you've built
have few missing bricks for looking in
it felt nice the last time
calm and patient
we listened, responded
never preachy or judgmental
a rare freshness
a cloudless sky
the cleanest air
that was nice

how do people have the patience to live their lives?
its hard to believe what i see on TV
as real
the world outside, a fake
where do they find the energy and time
to step out of their homes
and smell the roses

don't do anything
do less
yield
stop
listen
try to understand
who's tears are we crying?
who do we see in front of us?
the shell hardens
a panic to conflict
critical energy flow
the narration of a life together
read from different manifestos

I was born
I will die
in-between
infinite universal possibilities

i wonder about speaking circles in intellectual community's
it must be so different
the sound, the tone, and actively listening
on full display
the cadence of the super bowl parking lot face painted fan
unbecoming
or is it all the same noises we make
hidden behind giant brains

i've never written in a journal
is it like talking to yourself
but writing it down?
don't we do that already?
now were keeping a record?
i don't know how real it will be here
a smattering, an over abundance
none, all
i don't even know
the truth lies somewhere in between
if you trust what i'm saying

table for two
we sit down
but dine alone

i'm not afraid of you
i'm afraid of the truth you keep from me
truth can heal as much as it can destroy
and question everything
it shouldn't be so stressful
it shouldn't be so hard
there is no hiding

i know that you're dying
pretending wont stop the crying
we hide it deep down inside
the messages can't be diminished
anything for you
i know you're dying

i feel a third perspective
rising from my core
does it bring, the glimmering
or bitterness, unbecoming
wake up at the very end
the race was lost so long ago
why does it seem, like no one cheers
victims to a higher calling
dissociate to shields the vitals
muting the screaming hordes
with it it brings, the bittering
a conscious effort to mask all things

don't be a person
that can lie to a person
that can **** for a person
that can cry like a person
that can act like a person
that can buy like a person
that can ***** like a person
that can die like a person
that can speak like a person
that can eat like a person
that can speed like person
that can grieve like a person
that can steal like a person
that can feel like a person
that can gloom like a person
that can doom like a person
that can draw like a person
that can awe like a person
that can love like a person
that can shove like a person
that can be a person

will i
remember those days
when we stayed out late
enjoyed the setting sun
will i
remember to clean off my plate
those waiting here
can't pretend to care enough

all those wasted years
of walking in someone's shoes
a life regret
in a smaller size

dive in deep ends
and abolish
an weaker life
so dishonest
a toothless grin
for deadly departed
a blackout stare
oblivion

cry less
you don't smile enough anyways
typecast
typical

open up your eyes
and let me spit inside

tragedy awaits
so go ahead and smile for the camera

suicide, suicide
or death that's riding side by side with life
and an endless smile

motionless
hid in the shadows of arrogance
a life snapped into life on a whim
the past I found, intolerant

burier him deep
i once remembered but the fog has thickened lately
that memory blown to the sands of time
he had no mind for this anyways

but i remember that walk
it wasn't very long
a dicission was made
and a boy, lost

mostly kind spirited
spirals internally
what next stress will lead me down that unfamiliar path?

we started young and aged together
twenty years blinked
now behind us
but you're much older
the weight of the world
of life and love
the scales cannot calculate
when grapes sour
sweet bitterness
when grapes sour
wine's overpowered

how awful the past may seems to us in the present
revisiting a memory of a memory like only a memory can provide
the smells
the lights
the shades
the fights
that blue dress you wore once that you spilled wine on that night
or was it purple?
that night we walked and talked for hours
or was it raining?
the memory of memories like photocopies of photocopies
distorting sets in
the colors fade as the shades darken
the blacks and whites all bleed together
becomes static on an old television

we live in the little things
its the little things that should bring joy
an unexpected smile, reflected
little things grow deep roots
should
the thrones beneath still linger

try to understand
witness the violence
the flow of memories break when the bombs go off
interruptions
forced to grow up quickly
understand where its coming from
its a big deal all the time
shocked and adjust to the changes
what are you looking for

can you hear my heartbeat?
i feel nothing
outside the space between where we all vibrate at
off the bitten path

i see you're unhappy
but I laugh inside
not to mock or ridicule
astonished that you consider it torture
ignoring your present situation
ignoring your predicted future

i'm the bad guy, perfect

it must be hard
to sit in front of a couple and listen to their problems
how do you put yourself in their shoes
how do you live a life
and come out the other end
how do you live a relationship
for years
FOR YEARS
and steer their ship
school?
studies?
the problems grow deep
roots reach the core and suffocate
20 years distilled into hour chunks

interesting

i want to be better
but i can't fix impossible

I've created a story of perfect colors
but you seem to find the flaw, the cracks

you feel forced sometimes

the power to decide always lay with you
always

i've known but a really long time
and i've accepted it
weather or not i can say it aloud
i've accepted it

i smile at the years
i smile at the memories
its not nothing
its not everything either

the future sometimes feels bleak
running through the paces
home is all i have
hope is all i grasp for

sit, and enjoy
let the dust settle
where are we at in the end?
it was all meant to be happy

it all feels a little bit lost some how
mourning
boring
mundane
rage

RAGE, but silent

complaining is unnecessary
I complain inside
and let it go
it'll pass
it keeps the peace
but its uncomfortable