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yndnmncnll Dec 5
Dusk to dawn, you keep draining me,
Chug me up till I’m the whiskey you need.  
I don’t smoke, but I crave cigarettes after ***,  
Smoke then ****—what’s coming next? 
 
But darling, keep it just between us—because secrets are sweeter when I don't kiss and tell.
Baby, you know I can't control this feeling, but I just want to keep it to myself instead.

**** my soul the way you lick my body,
Kiss the **** out of me, I miss your fire.  
The smell of your sweater fuels my desire.  
When I wear oversized tees, I feel your trace,  
Like your touch still lingers, leaving its place.  

It is making you cry every time
You give your love to me this way.  
Saying you’d wait for me to stay,  
I know it hurts you, but it tastes like pleasure in pain.  

And I’m kissing you, lying in my room,
Holding you until you fall asleep.  
And it’s just as good as I knew it would be,  
Stay with me—I don’t want you to leave.  

You intoxicated me with your love so true,
I fall deep into the rabbit hole with you.  
I fall upside down, not on my knees,  
But begging silently for moments like these.  

I might like it oversized on me, 
But underneath, it’s your hands I need.  
Come and be my pillow, soft and true,  
You look so tired, let me baby you.  

In this vanilla twilight beneath pale skies,
Drop-dead gorgeous, you ignite my highs.  
So hot, I needed an espresso shot,  
You’re my craving—are you feeling what I’ve got?    

I’ll touch myself, but no, it’s not the same, 
I love when your arms play their claiming game.  
You’re **** in person, but do you miss me too?  
Does my body haunt the best of you?  

Are you happy? Or does longing remain?
I’ll hold you close, let’s burn in this flame.

Whispered something softly in your ear,  
A daring thought, yet sincere.  
It made you smile, your gaze astray,  
But I said it—it felt right that way.  

Sunsets glow as we roam this foreign town,  
Quiet streets with no one around.  
You laugh, so free, as your dress falls low,  
By the old swings where secrets grow.  

And when you go, I still see you,  
Sunlight painting your face in my rearview.  

Your voice echoes, a melody of choice,  
A love that no force could destroy.  
Snapshots like Brautigan's cherished covers,  
Memories we share as secret lovers.  

And when you're gone, you're still near,  
Sunlight on your face, memories clear.  

Watching the video where water cascades,  
Hair dripping, shadows softly swayed.  
Your body’s grace has me ensnared,  
But it’s your smile—pure, unprepared.  

It’s so sweet, knowing you love me,  
Words unspoken, yet heavenly.  
So sweet, as I run my fingers through your hair,  
A simple joy, beyond compare.  

Now I see you from afar,  
Wonder who you truly are.  
Dreams pull me closer to your light,  
Certain now—you’re just my type.  

Wanting your love to seep into me,  
A tender dream of eternity.  
Touch me with a kiss, soft and slow,  
Tell me it’s real, let the love grow.  

This is where I’m meant to be,  
So sweet, so close, so heavenly.  
Giving you all my love, my entirety,  
Every moment, for eternity.

You make me tremble, lost in your touch,
Moments so vivid, too much is never enough.
But these photos, these glimpses we’ve shared,
Are secrets I wonder if your friends would dare.

Would they see what we’ve captured in light,
Whispered desires born in the night?
Or is this just ours—a truth unspoken,
A bond unbroken, yet daring, yet open?
Would they see our truth, so raw, so deep,  
The love we’ve sown and secrets we keep?  
Or would they judge what they cannot feel,  
A bond so fierce, so vividly real?  

In shadows we meet, where whispers stay,  
A dance of desire till night turns to day.  
Their eyes may wander, their tongues may speak,  
But only we know the love we seek.  

Hold me closer, don’t let this fade,  
In your arms is where I’m made.  
No judgment matters, no words, no shame,  
For we burn brighter than any flame.  

So let them wonder, let rumors fly,  
We’ll rise together, just you and I.  
For in your gaze, I find my truth,  
A love eternal, untouched by youth.  

Let them see what they’ll never know,  
A fire that burns, a love that glows.  
Our secrets safe, our hearts aligned,  
Forever yours, forever mine.
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
Time will only tell
When I will be okay
Time will only tell
When I will be able to forget you?

It took me time to understand why we have to let each other go
It took me time to move on, it took me time to let you go
It took me time to hold on, it took me time to forgive you,
It took me time to accept the fact that you’re no longer mine to keep
It might take me a lot of sleepless nights counting sheep
It took me time to be happy

It took me time to accept and move forward
It took me time to stay in one location
It took me time to slow down
It took me time to resent you

It took me time to think it through
It took me time to ignore you
It took me time to decide
It took me time to let things go

It took me time to master everything
It took me time to rest on love
It took me time to smile
Until it was now my turn to smile
To laugh, to be happy and everything

It took me time to socialize
It took me time to adjust
It took me time to smile back at you
Until I learned to smile back at me too

It always took me time to love myself first
And never entertain any suitors yet
Before forgetting you
It took me time to talk to you
And ask for closure

It took me time to heal, it took me time to feel
All the pain first before moving forward
No more walking backwards

I’m not going that way, I’m moving forward this way
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
You’ve been so unavailable lately
Why’d you just took me for granted
You just said it yourself
That I am all that you wanted

You can’t catch my drift lately
So, am I making a fool out of myself?
Am I too much to be handled?
Is what I’m making you do

Hard for you to do?
So, am I just going to love with abandon?
The words I can’t say to you
Are the words you would hear in my song

Baby, I wrote this song for you
But still my feelings for you were this strong

Sorry if I overthink a lot
If I have been so emotional
If I mess up a lot
If I’m too sentimental

I just want you to know
I will never let go
I promise to hold on
Cause I don’t to go back to one

I’m sorry if I expect a lot of things from you
If I felt too jealous or disappointed
If I felt like I have trust issues
I just don’t want to feel like I’m avoided

I just need your time and attention
Ooh, I just need your love and affection

Maybe I just need a little bit of space
And keep myself busy all the time
Whatever it takes
I just don’t want to waste my time

I tried being so considerate and understanding
I want to give up already
Cause I’m super tired already
It felt like I’m the only one fighting

We’re going round in circles again and again
The pain always remains
But I don’t want to let you go
Cause I just want to stay with you
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
You are my favorite feeling
That feeling I'm longing to find
You're that feeling I'm missing
That feeling I'll never leave behind

I have come a long way just to find you
I have gone too far cause you're always on my mind
I hope you'll meet me halfway
And I'll wait for you along the way

I'll never want to forsake you
Cause you're impossible to find

If fate and time will only be by our side
My love for you will never be denied
If you'd only let me love you
Baby, I won't let go of you

You are all the thoughts in my head
And all the love in my heart
Baby, I'm yours for eternity
And you're mine for infinity

Ooh, you're always in my head
And you have forever owned my heart

Thank God, I have already found you
Thank God, you’re already mine to keep
Oh, you’re that man I’d always wanted to keep
Cause you are my answered prayer

Thank God, I already found you
And finally, I already have you
I already had someone to call my own
And I will never be forever alone

Come with me where dreams are born
And time is never planned
Come with me where our love is born
And our future is long planned

Take my hand
Yes, I'll take you to Wonderland
Take my hand
Since you're here with me in Neverland

Baby, you may not know it yet
But I have already loved you
Ooh, I already did the first time we met
Yeah, I do love you, love you, oh

We can make it through the test of time
You and me against all odds
As long as you’re here with me
Our future is secured and long planned

For more moments and years to come
You are the one I want to share my life with
For more ups and downs to come
You’re the one I want to build my home with

You will always be my favorite feeling
That feeling I'm always missing
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
I will tell the whole world about him
He feels like singing endless hymns
He has been so good to me
He is all I ever wanna see

He has sparkling madness, brown eyes
As if time flies
He was anxious and traumatized, like his dark unforgettable past
He wishes it never last

In the back of his mind
Why was he left behind?
He sings ballads and praises
All his days, he never fazes

He was rejected by many
Since others’ motives are too shady
Out of all the people, only one girl favors you
She is the only one simping you

Loving him is too crucial to hate
Seems like having him is really my fate
I admit it, he is the man she loves
He was indeed God’s gift from up above
yndnmncnll Mar 2021
This girl is rare, This girl is one of a kind
This girl only has you on her mind
This girl is still under your care
Oh, but this girl is hurt
And has no more time to flirt

This girl’s already all alone
She’s no longer in your zone
This girl has already cried enough
But this girl’s heart’s too tough

This girl no longer owns you
This girl is no longer your priority
This girl’s decision is never made easy
This girl will never listen to your lies anymore
Cause this girl can’t hold it any longer
This girl still loves you so
But you see, this girl has to let you go

This girl no longer believes in you
This girl no longer misses you
This girl no longer trusts you
This girl is no longer coming back to you
This girl already gave you the freedom you deserve
This girl has a lot to observe

From your words of wisdom to lies
She can’t see it in your eyes
But she feels it inside her
You never deserve to keep her

This girl loves you more than you ever know
She’s just too shy to let it show
But she needs to love herself first
This girl already found you
But you let her go
She chose you for a reason
But this love is already not it’s season
But she needs to find herself first
This girl misses you like crazy
But she misses herself more every day
This girl gave time to you
But she needs to spare herself some time

This girl already forgave you
And hopes to forget what has been said and done
This girl  will still treat you as her only one
But she needs to give you the freedom you deserve
I hope one day we meet again
Where this pain no longer remained
I hope you find the happiness you deserve

One day, this girl will look at you
Like I no longer have feelings for you
One day, I will find time to see you
But I’m no longer coming back to you.
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
You make me feel brand new
Let us just enjoy the view
Sipping champagne, sitting by the porch
Watching the sun sets

Let us make up and mend the pain
And let us light up some torch
I just wanted to do this with you
I can’t forget

325,000 and 600 minutes
365 days, 1 minute
24 hours a day, 12 hours a day
I’m so glad I found you, and make love to you

At exactly three in the morning
I still reminisce the old times
At exactly three in the morning
My midnight thoughts came by this time

Just a blur, in the blink of an eye
Everything fades, you and me, we’re done
It was already gone
Inside of me, I will die, I have died

Every time I cry, my eyes were already dried
Oh, just like a smoke, you were gone
Just like a smoke, what we had is done
Yeah, I will try to bury it in oblivion

This love is not a competition
Whoever gets the most attention
Or lacks affection
Will get an elimination from my life

What a bitter strife
Oh, at exactly three in the morning
I cry myself to sleep
I already am falling into deep


I have to forget this feeling
What has happened to me at three in the morning
Will remain a history
Until now, it became a history.
yndnmncnll Mar 2021
Loving someone who has no time for you? Wow. How incredible.
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
You lift me up the way I lift you
Together we help each other out
Figuring our way out
Into this problematic world of ours

You know I always care for you
What we had, what we own was ours
No one else would ever come in between
Here we are, through thick and thin

You always had me at our best and worst
I have always found you when you’re lost
Baby, don’t worry, I will always be here
Loving you, even if I’m far or near

You will always have my heart
To have and to hold
Your worth for me was gold
Your worth is more than a 24 karat

I would always want to hold your hand
Never want to let it go
This love may be sweet, salty, bitter or bland
I would always love to have you

This is the best love I have so far
It got me wishing on a shooting star
I may never have anything
But I can give you everything.
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
What we had was a rush
We started off as strangers
Then next up is being each other’s crush
And thrilled to see us being together

Too many times I let myself fall on the ground
But then, protected myself
From the people that surrounds me
I let myself down
And people started judging me

But you held my hand
My worth was nothing grand
Yet I never let you fixed me
Healed me

But you did fix and heal me
You repaired my broken heart
And caught me when I fell apart
And wanted to protect me
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
There is always a different side to every story
But this one's an interesting history
This story was no allegory
But a fact-based tell-tale to tell up until century

It was made up by these maritesses
Feeling inspectors, judges and witnesses
As if, they saw the scene of the crime
Blabbering about nonsense things at that time

Just like the issues fade, people fade
It might take us all in a decade
But they revealed everything
And it gets interesting

We go round in circles blaming everyone
Some scattered hearsays and hoaxes are on the run
Trying to please everyone
That ***** sure had a lot of fun

Who among these people are deserving to be blamed?
Yet, we can't even point fingers or name names
How about a rain check on the situation
Let's ask her for her true intentions

Now you try to walk around losing your head
I heard, the devil is off with your head
But have you seen your head in that silver platter
There's no need to flatter

Now you're everyone's talk of the town
All of the rumors were spread in your town
You let everyone down
In your sorrows, you drown

Well, let me tell you the story of the couple from *
I know you were either interested or intrigued to hear it too

Little did everyone know
She felt guilty, went to his grave and pleaded to him to forgive her
The deceased's kin were too angry to face her
Vengeance will be served, and so is justice too
Karma is already on the upper hand's menu

Moments are capsulized that turned into memory
A congratulatory address turned into an unforgettable eulogy
Beauty sleeps turned into "in the loving memory"

Even my wounds that cut so deep can’t be healed by a band-aid
**** up and forget the promenade
Let me take you somewhere to juggernaut down memory lane
Every grain, every salt, you’re no saint

You’re the mastermind of everything
Every time the pendulum swings
Karma is already knocking on your door
I hope you rot in hell, down to the core

Time flies by so fast, the moment you broke his wings
He can no longer fly away with his broken wings
Sometimes clock ticks’ life away
Whenever we were unaware, it goes to waste or fly away
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
I hid everything from my friends
They told about how our relationship ends
I lie low and lived a peaceful life
Away from everyone just to forget this bitter strife

Back to when you first met me
Everything runs smoothly
I was once the apple of your eyes
Now you’ve contaminated my life with white lies

Maybe I needed an anesthesia for this pain to numb
I hope you would think where this was coming from
I’ve had enough of everything
Am I not suitable to your liking?

I am not totally healed yet
I am not yet finished loving you
When you left me, I can’t forget
Those footprints of you

It was tormenting to watch
I throw any bullet for you to dodge
It felt like that, you see
How you walk away from me

I called your name, yet you never looked back
You did not mind coming back on your own track
You left a fragment of you deep within my heart
I was in pain, bruised and hurt

I felt it deep within my heart
When you told me, “I want you to be happier”
But you regretted seeing me happier
It breaks your heart
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
Why does it always pay to wait?
If I get all impatient, would I be too late?
I can't understand myself lately
It seems like I want to stay

Fell in love with a man who has it all
Loving me perhaps was his call
Ooh, I would love to let him know I'll wait
No matter how long I would always wait

You are all I ever needed
And all I ever wanted
In this world filled with lies
You’re the only thing that’s right

So, I’ll love you with all of my might
Every time I look him in the eyes
It feels like I love to stay
Every time you look and come my way

You are my lover and my everything
You are my forever king
You are mine and I am yours to keep
That’s why I fell in love too deep

You’re the reason why I keep smiling all the time
You’re the reason why I always cry when I miss you
You’re the reason why I could laugh all the time
You’re the reason why I became so happy every day

Because you’re the one I love
You’re the reason why I believed in love
You’re the reason why I chose to stay
You’re the reason why I chose you

My heartbeat is a melody I always hear when I miss you every day
My mind was always filled with thoughts of you every day
I hope you would still love me the same
I hope you'll never change

Because my love for you never ages
And I will always call your name

I will be waiting patiently for you
I will still love you
And right by your side is where I’ll stay
No matter how long or short the days
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
This guy I met online
I thought was already the one
He tested my patience when he crossed the line
I lose control and now he’s all alone

When he’s dealing with me
I felt that he’s ignoring me
Since he thinks I was superior to him
He thinks it is making him weak

And he thinks he was inferior than me
That’s why it made him feel weak
I got a lot of things to deal with him
Since it both made us feel weak

He is ******* up all my energy
He is making me feel drained
My mental health’s breaking down again
I felt depressed again

He was so terrible at pretending
He was so miserable at lying
He apologizes countless times
But repeats the same mistakes all the time

He tries to fool me again
Then tried to manipulate and control me
And no sorry could ever bring me back to normal again
Since the trauma, betrayal and trust issues in my head remain
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
Ohh, I love the way you **** me
It made me crazy
Tease me until I beg for it
Tease me until I want it

I want you in my bed
Can’t get you out my head
Been imagining things lately
Your seduction consumes me

The hornier I get
I still wanna *******
The more I crave for you
What I see is what I get

I’m that drug you’ll forever take
Until you get so high
Until you overdose
I’m that history you would forever remake

Your addiction in me will make you fly
Until you overdose

I want you to **** me baby
Come closer to me
And be a good boy baby
Now come to me

Gotta press play and hit rewind again
Let’s do the foreplay once again
You are insisting in doing so much more
We both crave so much more

I gotta let you know
I’m so addicted to you
Crazy for you
I just wanna love you

Only you got my wild side
Only you got me this wild
You let my inner me expose
You let my outer me impose
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
Come with me and close the door
Let's celebrate and live our life
I just want to have a private life
With you, I'll never ask for more

Let’s just keep it low-key
Though these setups never made easy
My whole world revolves again
My whole life started again

What I had with you, with you
I don't want to share it with everyone, pray tell
It’s a secret I’ll never tell
Oh, I just want and need you

What I had with you, with you
I just want to keep it to myself
Let’s keep them guessing
Baby, this feeling ain’t fleeting

No more, no less
I want you all to myself
I don't share you with everyone else
No more, no less

I'm bedbound with you
I ain't going to leave you
I'm never going to leave this bed
Just like the way you never leave my head

We'll make love as if it's always our honeymoon
What I had with you was over the moon
I'll never get tired of loving you
And discovering you

What I had with you is timeless
Whenever I think of You
I smile all the time
You are all I want and need all the time

No more, no less
My love, I love you

Let me take you away
Somewhere far away
Where no one sees us
In a place, where it's just us

Come and hold me closer to you
I just want you all over me
Whisper in all your intentions to me
I promise to never let you go
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
Pretentious. I was never that type of person
Liar. I never lied about it, but are we in unison?
He told me already yesterday
He had unclear explanations, faulty reasons

I admit it, he is a walking red flag
He might not admit it, but he cheated on me
Caught him red-handed, put him on a pedestal
I might **** him in a heartbeat, no tag

Got no label for that, you see
Who wouldn’t believe such a loser like me?
When he ended things on purpose
He said, he got nothing to lose

My life is a bit candid
I never caught him red-handed
Those moments were unforgettable
True, but lies were unforgivable

He is indeed a wolf in sheep’s clothing
He put himself up in everything
With all the lies, betrayal, and tricks
Let me tie him up in a joystick
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
Regrets taste like yesterday
Change is what I am today
I can still sense you even when you’re away from me

I’m two steps behind you
No time to talk to you
Now you’re miles away from me
Meeting you was like yesterday

Reminiscing, imagining
Visualizing, glancing

You and me, against the world
You and me, on top of the world

But you let go of my hand
I don’t understand
Loving you was my best memory
Our love was my favorite story

Everything was a mystery
Now history has repeat itself
And I am all by myself

Now I’m all alone
Dancing with your ghost
Now I’m all alone
Now you’re not here when I needed you most

I cannot love someone else greater than you
I cannot find someone better than you
You are the best for me
Cause when you left me

A part of my heart has been with you
And it has left me broken
Broken, oh

I close my eyes, and heard your voice
Your voice is something compared to the noise
I hear everywhere
You are all that I ever want to love
yndnmncnll Aug 2023
You gave me limited time
They gave me unlimited time
You gave me love
They gave me lust

You gave me affection
They gave me attention
You showed me love
They broke my trust

But none of those matters
Because you matter most to me

Cause you are my cure
You are my pain
You’re the only reason why I remain
Because your love is so pure

You are my happiness
And my sadness

You are the love of my life
In every feeling of bitter strife
That is what you are to me
For you are everything to me

You are my hope when I had none
You are my strength because you are the one
Now, who strengthens me, who consoles me
Now, who loves me and supports me

And that is you
There’s no one like you

Let God be our foundation
And let’s be each other’s motivation
In my black and white world
You are my color

And days have passed as I have loved you
It has grown so much stronger
You are my world
I hope you feel the same way too

Let’s be lost in our own world
With your hand I’d always hold
And in your arms is where I belong
Even if this is all wrong

— The End —