She kissed me and
took my last breathe
sent my soul to fire
black and eating death
full of our dead desire.
I love me. I hate myself.

He's an optical illusion
thick glasses confusion
I disappointed him
works mortal sin
he passed away
I die another day.
He buried me
long ago at sea.

I offer my soul to you
for payment that is due.
Lies told were never true.
We drank sorcerer's brew.

I'll see you in the ever after.
We'll drink with laughter.
Remember when you froze
and she broke your nose?

Giant  black green trees
feel the growling wind
purple haze starts to freeze
calls for my dying friend.

Turn the other cheek
would make her weak
I'll  never be forgiven
to madness I'm driven
Katie's estranged hell
lost in my wishing well.

Life is ice and fire
cold as hell desire
words are whips
lashed from lips
in hurt or rage
from next page.

Hating me
set's me free
from the guilt
my cell I built.

It's dark
Eden Park
we ****
we ****
break rules
naive fools
hard times
little crimes
no forgiving
live and let living

some day I hope he sees
what everyone else sees
but now I'm on my knees
broken leg if you please.

Some day I hope he sees
what everyone else sees
but now I'm on my knees
broken leg if you please.

Buried our fun week's end
in work's tilling brutal earth
we reach forever as I bend
pick cotton and giving birth.

I'm a beat up old dog.
My name is just Bill.
I think I'm 76 in your years.
I have stories ugly still.
I know cruelty and kindness.
I've had good luck and bad.
I've been with lovely *******
and some lost in eternal sad.
I'm just a bother in the way
they want to put me down
limping each painful day
hold me under 'til I drown.

I have to find you
tell you I need you
scattered lovers
under life's covers.

Dirtiest line on PG TV.
Ward, weren't you hard
on the ****** last night?

At the corner of Love and Lust
all the broken hearts still bleed
buried in empty graves of trust
never had a chance to find seed.

I rescue abandoned dogs
like my abandoned kids
dissapear in the rear view
and I close my eyelids.

I'm fading with the light.
My shadow takes flight
naked unseen from sight
'til full moon midnight.

Christ, I'm fresh dead
torn from your cross
My God my hope bled
just wicked world loss.
Toss coins in collection
it's too little too late
buy Katie's affection
she ate an empty plate.

Laughter on fire starts.
I promise broken hearts.
Dance naked in the dark
******* in our Eden Park.
Acid tripped to Erie Lake
Wedding a pathetic fake.

I tremble in wonder
born in Coney Island
tunnel of love thunder
in your ****** hand.
We soared heights
kissed coaster skies
******* in frights
I Love Your lies.

My **** loves your need
Until you make it bleed
Giving up the baby seed
Done the final deed.

Countless pieces birth to death
put in place first to final breath.
Paint watercolor of lovers' fight
darkness to love over into light.
Too many shapes don't fit right.
I press harder until they fit tight.

I buy me a drink
laugh as I think
of yesterday's ink
talk to my shrink
asking questions
making sugestions.
Why do I *******?
It is a cheap date.

Curtain parts on birth scene
****** Mary's birth scream
Christ child inside friction
of time and crucifixion.
I love all of humankind
Love is so hard to find.

On cool back burner
resentment simmers
love turns to black
hatred for dinners.

The Final Chapter

I thought I was a boy
runs in summer grass
no classes freedom joy
my lifetime is near pass.
I don't know death's
ugly end of my life
shortness of breaths
hatred of my ex wife.

Who am I
Truth or lie
Do or die
Laugh or cry
Hello or bye
*** or deny
One more final try
Catcher in the Rye.

Cold beds hot hearts
neglected garden dies
Hot hearts hot beds
Eden's garden thrives.

I swear broken promises for
entry to your secret garden
I stab your heart once more
and once again beg pardon.

Born into baffling worlds
With double edged swords
Marching from birth to death
Fighting life to the final breath.

I'd nail my madness to the tracks going West
   seeking freedom wearing a Dandy's NY vest.
   How long can we endure the vastest unknown?
   **** Indians and Buffalo and bury us in stone.

We are never prepared
  shock of wrinkled grey
  House of mirrors distorts
  Roger Bacon has been
  lurking in my shadows
  scared I'll be the next
  in the arms of Christ
  on the list of the dead.
  We just got used to us
  for blood and screams
  old men chasing dreams
  live beyond their means
  bursting at their seams
  play their monkey schemes
  nothing is as it seems.
 Life comes and goes
  lurking in shadows.

My first fantasy was a Vargas print
of a brunette in stockings and a garter belt.
She kept me at attention for a year or two
and I still see her at 72 and miss her.
Pantyhose killed a world of lust.
We hate you Allen E. Gant Sr.

We've all gone crazy lately.
I don't wear a tie or cut my hair.
I smoked some hash and lost my
mind a little bit. Save me from
a world I don't recognize anymore.
I dress like a clown and eat drugs
to keep me up and down and level.
Friends are straight or hippies each
seeking their very own Nirvana.
I walk a tightrope above madness.

We grow old in love
fall apart with age
I'm a broken dove
turn the final page.

Naked burned in my memory
I draw your beauty perfectly.
You ask if I would stay Sunday
Times crossword we will play.
Wake Monday sleet grey day.
Cash only when I leave to pay.

Sometimes people
spend their adult hood
getting over their youth
children treated wood.

I misled you from the start.
I adored your kind heart
and your weaker knees
spread apart to please.
We made our Love baby
no if and or maybe.
25 years we downsize
sleep alone realize
these rooms don't fit
sleep in beds of regret.

I'm insecure
bad boy unsure
born broken
first son token
Dad a war hero
speed freak curio
temper short fuse
love hate confuse
minefield stroll
security was stole.

Time warps are real
God cheats, will steal
minutes become hours
night's stolen stars.
We live in sideshows
freaks nobody knows
the rules to follow.
It all seems shallow.
It's right or wrong.
It's weak or strong.
all crooked rhyme
warped bent time.

Where can I set my pain fears
so as not to upset an apple cart?
I ran away in desperate tears
bleeding out from the start.
6 Alcott Lane disappears
the homecoming heart.

My life is not a page
full of pretty poetry
more like fire of rage
Hiroshima imagery
molten hearts boiled tears
flowers were never grown
countless wasted years
lives were never known.

I will write my first song
play guitar chords along
sing it to myself with beer
in fogged bathroom mirror.

Pristine saints threaten
fingers crossed again
scout's honor weapon
slingshot to the shin.

I've lost 3 wedding rings
frantic looking for last one.
Love is chains lost things.
Wars fought hope we won.
Loveless marriage thorn
so bored with repetition
routine is just forlorn
slaves to tradition.

Keep the killer afloat above
targets through black flack
avoid the deadly white dove
promises never going back.

A carny biography
of ******* photography
married Aunt Glenny
his shiny lucky penny
beauty thin as a rail
hard as a track nail.

Winds of change
always blowing
breathing strange
never knowing
what tomorrow
will finally bring
joy or sorrow
songbirds sing!

With war painted eyes
weapons between thighs
in Boston's combat zone
tempting men all alone
smell the pungent bait
pay the fee for no wait
you always want it pure
no promise nothing sure
no heartache to endure
kiss a wife at the door.

We fell in love
for our ****
anger and dove
hope better luck.
Naked in fields
of summer gold
thunder builds
clouds get bold.
Lightning strikes
nothing but ash
left of love's likes
left in the trash.