We wore suicide vests
into our love nests.
Friends come and go
some fast some slow.
Drunk on your wine
everything was fine.

I'm a country song
in a bar doing wrong
hope to sleep in beds
unknown tails heads
I bleed mercy after all
always sought after fall
Join me in my lonely death
give me your last breath.

Coming of age
turning the page
into ice and rage
escape the cage.

skies alive tonight
stars are on fire
libidos take flight
quench our desire.
You gave me breath
when I couldn't breathe
helped me avoid death

I don't remember names
but never forget the feel
of warmth from flames
touch it that is real

Who will dare to be the first? Step
   right up and put your money where
   your lust is. Inside this tent is a
   ******. She needs to be deflowered.

   Hyman guaranteed, doctor certified.
   She'll blush and giggle and be demure.
   When push comes to shove she delivers.
   Is a rare opportunity to taste the pure.

Wrapped in a pretty box
of promises and kisses
I'm just such a sly fox
give you hits and misses.

He had a lust for a life
chose a female for a wife.
She grew fat with his child
but was killed in the wild.
He grieves as best he can
his wife chooses a man.

I must have brought a ton of bad Karma
  from my past lives to the here and now.
  I hear phrases in sleep that make me sad.
  You can't keep your hands off...
  What the hell were you thinking?
  You have so much wasted potential.
  Why do you keep getting drunk?
  I'm an imposter that people love.
  I'm an imposter who cares about
  everybody except me, myself and I.

You better get
   your makeup kit
   make the fear
   last night
   disappear.
   wear your shades
   'til the black eye fades
   people just stop asking
   when shopping at the IGA
   repair the fist holes
   in walls and doors
   and in your heart.

I swim in my sea of doubt
caught in riptides I shout
ocean swallows me silent
nobody knows I was bent.

Our world grew quiet like the dead.
   I never heard silence like this before.
   I knew it was over when we ate alone
   and slept apart and watched our own
   shows. We always adapt. We're good at it.
   It's easier than fixing what is broken.

'Til death we vowed
heads fervent bowed
We'd been drunk wild
belly full of child
18 and 19 naive
tonight we believe.

I've had enough living.
All taking and giving
the promises broken
forgiven never spoken.
Tally wacker won't work.
There's no more circle ****.
Our tears are all the same.
Stay warm in dead flame.

drunk and ****
***** and egg
I was a tiny god
in my tiny womb
swoosh the sound
one night stand
name me Hank
Shea walk plank

75 and I fell again.
Hurt worse when sober
in the morning sun
in my cold October.

Hold my broken heart
bring it back to life.
Love's perfect storm
has a sharper knife.

You weren't seen
in my blind spot
too old so young
perfect ink blot
no trouble at all
self absorbed dad
in and out of lust
edge of mind mad.
you were a rock
in my slaughter
never faltered
first Daughter.

Our sacred backstair lust
diamond turns to dust.

I steal your words
rearrange them
everything I write
becomes a Hymn.

When I wake again
I've lived too long.
Another day in prison.
My life is really gone.

I slit my wrist a million times with pieces
of the broken heart's razor sharp deflections
in my attic room Penthouse desire increases
illusion of an endless tunnel of reflections.
mirrors on walls showed me every angle
my naked drunken midnight freedom dance
with my Irish too small little dangle
always chasing the mirage of desert romance.

Just an afterthought
I ruined their lives
lost in haze of wine
club of my ex wives.

Mixed messages can be confounding
   but if looked at through an alcohol
   filter they can be deciphered as if
   spoken in clear and precise language.

   Passive aggressive onslaughts are hell
   disguised as innocent comments. Clever
   warfare that has plausible deniability.
   Be vigilant and you can discern it.

   Manipulation uses ills often; migraines,
   back and/or neck pain, depression and the
   mother who visited her madness upon you.
   The first marriage tore holes in you.

   I married a 1 who became a 10. What can
   I do? signed Desperate. Dear Desperate,
   You can become a 10 or find another 1 and
   hope the new 1 will not become another 10.

A bag of red hot suns
one of cool full moons
serenaded by Pink Floyd
with powdered spoons.

I'm naked at the party.
Such wonder and awe.
Welcome to my mind
a puzzle with a flaw.

You have a lover for white hot moments
that would burn you to the ground if
you spent the whole night in flame.
You've forgotten her drunken name.

You have the love of your life that
has periods and migraines and cancer
carried our Love's child for 9 months,
delivered Bailey the perfect answer.

I was born
torn forlorn
alone storm
sorrow ****.
I broke rules
made by fools
for useful tools
and Govt. mules.

Between the beauty
and incessant pain
glorious sunshine
and November rain.

We lived among dead
and the almost living
those who always take,
alive forever giving.

We were naive lovers
long years gone away
mock marriage tattooed
always here to stay.
I'm in a tomb
another womb
tiny rented room
sleep all afternoon.

You live in shadows of fears.
You swim in rivers of tears.
Meet me in the promised land.
Take my offered helping hand.
I'm different from the others.
I swear no smothering lovers.

Never thought I'd be 75.
How'd my drunk arrive?
I died but I'm still alive?
Kind acts always survive.

Give me our broke vets
under bridges in tents.
I give them all money
for a cheap pint of honey.
Thanks for your service.
July 4th makes you nervous
1812 Overture torn apart
from bottom of your heart.

I never meant to
steal your shadow
lock your heart in
my prison's flow

Burn your friends
in my insecure bonfire
screaming their ends
for my own desire.

I could never find you
in the vastness of living.
We never shared a beer
never found a wedding.
You bent chords like I
bent my tiny day to day
shuffling decks forever
without a card to play.

Home Depot. Need a gas can. A woman
spraying plants told me where to go.
Aisle 3. I was met by John who said his
wife had cancer and told me the best
gas can to get. I asked about his wife
and he said she lost her hair and was
sick to her stomach. Hemp oil helped
her pains and I promised prayers
and the helpless hope we all offer.
I found hemp oil on Amazon for her.

I question ****** birth
carpenters drive nails
into Christ's self worth.
Now everybody flails.

Prayers are not somehow.
I still believe in fairy tales
Santa brings *** toys now.
Jesus save us from our fails.

Give me our broke vets
under bridges in tents.
I give them all money
for a cheap pint of honey.
Thanks for your service.
July 4th makes you nervous
1812 Overture torn apart
from bottom of your heart.

We see Gatsby's party lights.
     Brilliant morning sun ignites
     the colorful bouquet of leaves
     inside the fragrant ocean breeze.
     I walk my dog that I call Rusty
     to *** and **** in sand and sea.

I'm not sure what to say
are you in a bad day?
Do you need space?
Am I leaving this place?
Is your garden forbidden?
Is your true heart hidden?
Just questions, no answers
always unknown cancers.

You cannot Love
in moderation
all in or all out
no *******
no blowup dolls
or Centerfolds
just she who
really matters.

Can I stop the treason?
No I **** in cross winds
no sense of solid reason
fallout buries my friends.

Beauty and perfume
I'm in love with you.
Drunk and dry spell
what else would I do?
*** all the week long,
eating in then eat out.
Turn it up louder song.
MIA at work ants shout.
What is the fuss about?
Fierce *** is never wrong.

I brought you to life
   in a poem. You'll never
   love in moderation. Love
   screams out loud and catches
   its breath and sleeps 'til noon.
   Then it happens next full moon.

I never made it to Christmas
or Birthdays or school plays.
I was drunk and chasing ***
to bed somewhere for lays.
I know my failure up close
live in forever confessions
forget me with each dose
erase me in shrink sessions.

I brought a book
and flowers for you
and a fragile heart
hoped that I would do.

57 years we are still
climbing our journey
up what's left hill
I always hope to be.

I give you thorns
without the roses
loveless marriage
with baby carriage
we sleep apart
with dead heart.
It's naked time.
Be my valentine!

Deaf to mother's screaming
  unheard from a waiting room
  the thorny villain with flask
  his baby being forced into
  life is not heard until it's
  born into blinding light a
  world of mistakes forgotten
  on death's lonely wedding bed.
  

In the old days fathers waited in rooms with bad coffee and fuzzy TV and ashtrays full of butts until the nurse summoned us to the nursery window where we saw a stranger looking like Winston Churchill. We ran to the nearest bar to celebrate the new arrival and hand out cigars and buy rounds for the house until the money ran out. We slept alone in our wedding bed for the first time but not the last.

I come to life
of the living
through you
I see a light
Lay my soul
naked to fight
swallowed alone
I am coming home.

Train rolls on down the line
takes me miles back in time
when life was an easy living
of just us taking and giving.
Now much more is at stake
MacArthur Park ruined cake
left out in the rain all night
spurned lover denies delight.
Slits wrists dies in bathtub.
Death's feather is final rub.

Forever student at Ohio State,
brilliant or simple who knew?
Never bathed smelled of B.O.
so bad his nickname was Phew.
Mascot of comp sci department
everywhere on every spectrum
pity and love together arrived
we all learned to respect him.

I confess and eat penance
having sinned I must dance
again with my true mistress
awed as you slowly undress
tempting Eve in the garden
God is lost no way to win.