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1.4k · Mar 13
I'm ashamed of my affliction
   through no fault of my own.
   My life's been lived in parts
   watching from the dark alone.

   Afflicted. Conflicted. Addicted.
   Betrayal. Portrayal. Burial.
982 · Sep 2020
The Poem
I want to write the poem
you always quote to impress
friends at Hampton parties
and read to your children
so they understand why this
whole mad spinning life is
worth the price of admission.
We might be born in a manger.
We might be Mary Magdalen.
We might be a million peasants.
Nobody will ever remember a
million peasants. We know Christ.
978 · Feb 28
When I'm Drunk
Everything makes sense. I love my life.
I'm a genius and perfect parent and a
motivational speaker and **** star.
I split atoms and human nature.
I paint you beautiful and real as
impossible as that might seem.
891 · Apr 29
Mute Mourning
She was terrorized of heights.
   I marveled at her bravery and
   pain that put her on that cliff
   she jumped and broke hearts
   and more lives than she knew.
   We gather mute to mourn.
765 · Oct 2020
3 am in a diner inside of Nowhere
we gather like the dead sipping coffee.
We're lost souls. We love bright light
flickering florescent and neon spelling
our message to the dark night. We are
nighthawks who travel your dreams.
651 · Apr 12
End of Time
Time is worth more than gold
on your deathbed being sold.
Expiration dates aren't legible.
Just ask a drowned 10 year old.
Cancer is the roulette wheel.
After chemo see how you feel.
Just sell my soul for morphine
with the pain in my machine.
641 · Apr 22
it makes us better
   love harder
   never quit trying.
   biting monkeys
   screeching madness
   always on our backs
   a time bomb to
   keep us guessing
   when when when
   the answer is
   too late to matter
   too late to change.
631 · Oct 2020
Bouquet of Poems
I'm poor. All I have
is a bouquet of poems
I wrote for you that
won't die if neglected.
607 · Feb 2
The Clown
I hear your bones rattle in the attic
  after midnight and my fear beats in
  my ears. I know you'll come for me down
  the stairs silently and do it all again.
561 · Oct 2020
8 Minutes
Anybody ever understand me?
I try to make a point but silent
stares fill me with terror. Do they
hate me or am I on fire naked?
I have equations to prove my point.
Einstein agrees with my logic and
if the sun dies in the blink of an eye
we have 8 minutes to say goodbye.
549 · Nov 2020
The Caged Bird is Screaming
The caged bird sings!
Such a wonderful song
to wake to begin the day.
She is screaming for her
freedom from the cage.
I scream from my perch
in this zoo of houses and
neighbors and weight on
me to provide and be king
with all the answers for you.
I know why the caged bird sings.
549 · May 3
Whipping Post
I was dragged to a whipping post
    and ******* desperate naked angry.
    Bring blood from lashes of a devil's
    tongue until I'm moved to creation.
    Writing poetry is a lonely effort
    full of doubt. No one likes a word.
    I drink me insane and set it on fire
    I burn lines of smoldering emotion.
532 · Dec 2020
Hello Poetry
Hello Poetry
    Front Page

   her hair
   son of golden soil
   sudden death
   make yourself
   the slide
   consume your soul
   she believed
Let's meet in a church basement on Sunday night with coffee and stale donuts and stories of lost souls writing our hearts out and pray to a higher power for one of us to be discovered on Public Radio
504 · Nov 2020
My Generation
Most of us are dead. We never
saw it coming. We are wrinkled
and bald and smell like old people.
We're invisible. You visit us in our
old folks home on our birthdays
to celebrate another year survived.
479 · Jun 2020
Dead Soldiers
Chess pieces off the board.
Playing in the park in shade
of oaks dropping Fall's leaves.
They lie stiff under sheets in
foreign fields loved ones won't
recognize in tears and sobs and
prayers of despair to a deaf God.
Death ends the games tonight.
470 · Apr 5
I Love You
I Love You! Every living one of
you. I think kindly of you all.
Come over for Sunday supper
and bring a dish and stories.
452 · Apr 29
old soldiers sporting bravery's medals
  then comes the blaring marching band
  next are the clowns and the jugglers
  children waving flags don't understand

  still too young to know war's truth
  soon enough it will be their turn
  fresh young faces eager for glory
  will march into their hell and burn.
401 · Jan 25
He's broken and lame
played but lost the game
destroys himself in flame
sorry that he even came.
Bleeds to death at the pool
shot like a useless mule.
If only I'd known from the beginning
   things would take an ugly turn.
   While my well intentioned gift of love
   played out too soon and burned.
   You could have worked out nicely since
   my mother would never approve.
   I destroyed all your pictures, got new
   bedding. All traces I will remove.
   Tomorrow I'll find your replacement
   and try once again to make it last
   forever after. I keep trying to make
   a Madonna from ash. Same old past.
389 · Apr 1
The wind blew up her dress.
  Those lips sang to me from
  shore like sirens of Ulysses.
  I was tangled in the sight
  caught in a net of memory.
  I was trapped in her riptide.
376 · Feb 28
Losing My Mind
water drips. metal clangs.
The world swirls in floaters
in the edges of my eyes almost
visible like God but not quite.
I blink and write my soul down
word for word and try to be real.
All I ever am is almost a disease.
I love for moments but never more.
359 · Mar 30
Strike Me Blind
See Hear Speak nothing.
Let me ****** and drink
and watch comedy videos
and take Ambien to sleep
and Xanax to live a life
and die on time forgotten.
Leave the bleached bones
of freedom in our graves.
340 · Mar 12
I Couldn't Cry
You're not there to
   meet me anymore,
   just a shadow left to
   greet me like before.
   I heard the news.
   I know you died.
   I tried to conjure
   tears I couldn't cry.
327 · Jan 25
Snake Haired Girl
I'm 70 and blush like a 10 year old
     crushing on the girl with snake hair.
     She's electric and boombox loud laughs
     and shakes me from my very foundation.

     I have my life packed into boxes ready
     to sell for pennies at the yard sale.
     I can't dance. Rhythm was never my thing.
     I don't want to fall in love with you.

     This valentine inside my chest betrays me.
     I'm always ready to fall in love with trouble.
     The ashes smoldered and now come alive and
     We'll burn with lust in uncertain tomorrows.
326 · Aug 2020
Boiling Sun
My skin is plastic. My veins are rubber.
I might melt in the boiling summer heat.
Each day I grow weaker. I'm closer to corpse.
Let's move to the desert where death looms
in shower stalls with scorpions and coiled
snakes in rare shade just waiting for us.
311 · Oct 2020
Nation's Capital
There's an ounce of truth
in a landfill made of lies.
The best politicians money
can buy. They become rich
delivering milk to lobbyists.
USA sold off pennies on the $.
296 · Jul 2020
I Set Fire to Love
I gave you my heart but
    knew you couldn't keep it.
    I'm still expecting you to
    hold on to Love to a finish
    line that doesn't even exist.
    I set fire again and never look
    back. I smell the burning
    flesh. I hear familiar screams.
    The burning flesh is mine alone.
    The screams are in my head.
Always self fulfilling fears of abandonment. I smell burning flesh at 3am when sleep will never save me.
291 · Jun 2020
Death Has Dominion
Death is ill timed, never expected
  and awkward for those left behind.
  Funerals are Death's surreal plays.
  Tears won't always come on cue.

  It's bad luck to talk about death.
  We speak kind of the dead. We don't
  talk of their human frailties.
  We deny our own sins and theirs.

  We forgive the world for our sins.
  If we never lived in your creation
  with temptations forbidden we'd
  never suffer birth and death.
285 · Mar 16
Watercolor Portrait
Every color of the rainbow
  shadow and nuance and love
  eyes face hair and lips
  your eyes thalo green
  mixed with bits of sun
  face ochre mixed with coffee
  hair midnight black mixed with
  beach breeze and *** perfume
  lips rust lust in a hayloft
  blush leaves a hint of crimson.
279 · Apr 13
Frozen Goldfish
We never have enough to eat.
Winter is brutal up north and
we can't pay for heat huddled
around Dollar Store candles.
My Goldy is dead in morning.
Daddy can't keep a job anymore.
I look the same day to day like the
dogs and cat and cereal and toast.
I wake a stranger every day afraid
of different outcomes with unknown
villains plotting my demise. You are
the only constant in this universe.
You are my sword and armor and
resolve. You are my Bedlam with
restraints and pills and cruel men
with straitjackets for my comfort.
Strength is deep inside us all.
It's my ever present Hallelujah.
270 · Feb 12
I'm waiting for my heart to
fall in love with you again
sitting in your backseat
trying to pick your locks to sin
I have a bag of seeds to sow
upon your fertile afterglow.
267 · Jan 8
Mr. Monopoly
Wearing a top hat and a straight
  jacket with a monocle and goatee.
  He owns everything like God does.
  Nobody will ever tell him different.
  He'll silence you and disappear you.
  He'll buy your friends and family.
  He'll define what's real and false.
  He's the man who bought the world.
  Our lives are in his cattle cars on
  our way to his indifferent endings.
If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. The lie can be maintained only for such time as the State can shield the people from the political, economic and/or military consequences of the lie. It thus becomes vitally important for the State to use all of its powers to repress dissent, for the truth is the mortal enemy of the lie, and thus by extension, the truth is the greatest enemy of the State.”
-- Joseph Goebbels
266 · Dec 2020
Fallen Moon
Memories like anorexic hangars
inside the closet out of sight.
The sun inside the Frigidaire
keeps my secrets in the dark.

I knew things changed when
the moon was gently rocking
in the breeze in a creek
since falling from the sky?

Now you know my frailties.
I'm insecure and eaten up
with doubts. I can't even
imagine happily ever after.
262 · Dec 2020
Love is Madness
Every time I fell in love
    my heart became more fragile.
    The snow fell beautifully into
    love's yawning massive grave
    where all true loves go to die.
    Tears of my soul drip upon pages
    and I scratch my stories for you.
    Read and understand my journey.
261 · Nov 2020
Baltimore Nights
I pull the shade down and turn a blind eye
       to the city's darkness. No one even cares.
       It's hard to live in Baltimore anymore.
       We can't buy our way out. We do best we can.
       City's dying after all. Blood's everywhere
       and death's smell corrupts every street.
       Fools party in the harbor and pay a price
       whitey never understands. Anger seethes
       in ghettos like a garden party in Riverside
       where they curse the help for warm Champagne.
260 · Jul 2020
Junkies's Hymn
Please don't save me from myself
I have my needs and want them.
My shaking hand will write my song
just a ***** with his sharp pen.
The needle holds the promise
of a heaven and an Amen.
260 · Jan 22
Small men standing tall
wearing giant hats and
medals they can hardly
carry. They feed soldiers
to the war machine like
butchers making sausage.
255 · Apr 27
I have a vampire cat
sleeps all day
up all night
I bet she has
a magic cape
I've never seen
her in a mirror.
I sleep with a cross.
254 · Mar 4
I Made God
I'll make my own God of split atoms.
The sun stares at Him and goes blind
leaving the world in total darkness.
It ends not with a whimper or a bang.
I still have a big bag of marbles.
I found one that looks like Earth.
I confessed my sin to my Priest.
10 Hail Mary's fix everything.
I have a bag of marbles. I found one that looks like Earth.
254 · Oct 2020
Jesus is my Gardener
In my infancy
  I still believed.
  Nuns taught me truth.
  Jesus died for our sins.
  Drink His blood and
  eat his body in wonder
  of what? I'm old and wise.
  Jesus is my gardener now.
253 · Oct 2020
Pills make me happy when I'm sad, and tired
  so I can sleep, and wide awake in mornings.
  Pills help me when anxiety steals my breath.
  Pills  save me from a cuckoo's nest lobotomy.
  Pills make me feel normal like the rest of you.
Pills let me feel lust on our special date night.
Prescription pad addictions make doctors bootleggers?
243 · Aug 2020
Wage your wars with swords.
I'll defeat you with my pen.
The defeated are buried and
forgotten. Victors never forget
the horror of it. Madness lurks.
Answers lie on printed pages.
235 · Nov 2020
Chasing Dad
I was young and lost. I was
unable to keep up when he
went in the bank. I saw him
leaving across the street and
ran after him and a car hit me
and broke my heart and leg.
He was the god I disappointed.
He was the man I kept chasing.
230 · Nov 2020
Cincinnati, OH
There's always a train whistle
blowing in the distance and a dog
keeping me awake complaining.
I know my life is less than I want.
I start smoking. I write poetry and
send them to The New Yorker for
the rejection letters I treasure in
the drawer I open years later and
wonder why. I destroyed what I had
and rebuilt mile by mile to you.
224 · Jan 11
I Said "I Love You"
I said, I love you.
Your silence was deafening.
I kept saying shh, shh, shh.
You can't make this promise,
you can't betray your heart.
I die that night. Shh.
221 · Dec 2020
South Africa
South Africa
Diamond Mines

  Workers wait for the whistle anxious
  to get on the clock making money. They
  shuffle. Angry yellow eyes stare at
  white keepers with guns and sneers.
  They wait. They're strip searched at
  end of shift checking for diamonds
  smuggled out in *******. They wait.
  They revolt and the white turns red.
216 · Jul 2020
Angry Angels
We're angry angels
   with broken wings
   and tortured souls.
   You think we'll save you?
214 · Oct 2020
Stranger in a Strange Land
I was conceived and 9 months later
was dragged from the womb to an
alien world of light and masked goons
in white gowns and tools and grinning
fools. Put me back in the world I know.
I grow up a stranger in a strange land.
I never was comfortable in this world.
209 · Apr 21
Skin on Bones
Hanging on old bones
I'm parchment skin
my story tattooed
litanies of my sin.
I rattle when I breathe
and forget most things
except my lovers and
my wedding rings.
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