Every evening dawn
When eyes are never closed
Filled with tears of endless agony
The heart is forever breaking
Sinking deep into lifeless land
Where life becomes more impossible
Yet forever revealing this dimple smile of mine
Maybe if you can ask my pillow
It might show you how its drowning

This afternoon when the sky was transparent,
Even pasture looked more Greenery,

I danced to the rhythm of my heart,
Had conversations I never had

Yet in the midnight hour,
It rained till the last drop,
With no one to hold the Canopy.

Back in the garden
Named Eden
Where life began

Barefoot on the grass
Rain barrel between the arms
Pouring through the Iris

While busy springing up
Through these melodies
With my Ear drums on the petal tip
Hearkening to the vent of these Irises

I just want to be loved
Through all imperfections
All the flaws and demons
Not breaking this fragile heart
Into pieces that cannot be mended
Even by a man of gentleness
Who deals with love beyond repair

When I fall in love
I want a lifetime commitment
To see your eyes brimming with love
Looking deeper into my eyes through sunrise
Turning your morning kisses into my alarm
As you allow me to live within your heart
And never letting go even when it pours

Or too sluggish to Pace
In this destiny I'm set upon
There should be sunbeam
At the end of the tunnel right?
Yet I'm jammed in the middle of nowhere

Step backward Step forward
Still darkness shielding my eyes
No matter how extensive open my eyes are
Maybe I'm just blindfolded to see the tiny light ahead
Yet too sighted to see that I'm lost

Few years in, lifetime to go,
Yet this hour feels like yesterday grieve
Unspoken words carried by the wind back to my head,
How I wish we could still have those conversations,
Of my rollercoaster life,
And make a wish in the presence of the moon,
While you plant kisses on my forehead

You are still a resident of this heart!
Like this morning when I dialed your contact,
Only to be reminded of how you reside in heaven now
There is water from the moon on my pillow,
Yet yesterday there were ray of sunshine on my window

Tell you about emotions changing colours as Chameleon,
One moment is white, next moment blue
I am forever engraved

Can you hear the sound?
the sound of the lilies,
blossoming in the morning sunrise
Can you smell the aroma?
the aroma that carries the accent,
of a beautified chains of life

It is the coat of many colours,
that when the other colourful side has reached the very end,
the reverse of it find wings to fly the unseen colours of its own,
and turns Hopeless into Hopeful,
I call it the rainbow of undefined definable destinies

Dear our Father who art in heaven
during this pandemic,
where our eyes don't dry of tears,
where fear eat at the palm of our hands,
and there is grinding of teeth,
Believe me when I say,
I wish I can long for money,
but at this moment I don't
Believe me also when I say,
I wish I can long for materialistic things,
but they all don't matter but life do
Rich, poor, you name it,
we are only after two things,
which is life and peace of mind,
The preservation of our lives,
as well as of our family and friends,
is all we long for Dear God

I'm swimming
in the ocean of my own tears
drowning
in these perplexity thoughts
that keep replaying at the back of my mind
The sweet melodies are passing
replaced by plaintive songs
that keep the river of Jordan flowing
round the clock
Disoriented to the core

I'm drowning
through these memories
we brought into existance in our ecstatic moment
to last for eternity
only to be existing within a blink of an eye
not eternity

If grief was not love,
I wouldn't be here,
With a bleeding wound,
Feeling the feel that I feel,

Though ancient it seems,
Deeper is the bleeding,
And forever dripping

All of me wish you were here,
To answer these million questions at hand,
"Why, how, did you?"
Yet it goes forever unanswered,
And turns into a voicemail

If grief was not love,
I wouldn't be here
Listening to the Sunday Blues

Drunk she feel
Legs becoming weaker
Tipsy as she becomes
Eyes becoming heavier
Slowly paying no attention

Memory became blurry
Just as tongue turned loose
Talking more and more
Of her agony as well as misery

Under the musk she wears
Musk of smiles as well as of laughters
She is slowly drowning
Yet she feel better off drunk

I love you
More like fine wine
As you persue
Through my whining
Till you capture me through your heart

I love you
Through cracky roads
Even wind blew
Breaking all cords
Like a hunk breaking hearts

You adores me
Though I'm sticky like a gum
Irritating like a bee
More like a broken drum
But still my heart is captured

Fell head over heels,
never with the accent of a human being,
but she was smitten with her passion
Her passion was her heart,
as long as her heart keep pumping with so much passion,
so was her precious passion towards life

I'm not a story teller,
but given an opportunity I'll tell you a tale
Depression got better of her
and frustration dined at the palm of her hands
The desire of escaping these traumatic experience was there,
but she was trapped for her dear life
Like river Jordan flowing with powers,
so was her tears that never ran dry
And at that moment the rope became her solution,
to eliminate the pain she felt on the inside
Because the visible smile of the invisible brokenness,
could not be patched

She wanted to live I'm telling you,
but she was tired of holding on
Depression took it all away from her,
with no mercy,
and her soul and her mind betrayed her as well

Half pass midnight
Just a while ago
The scent of thy ink
Within her nostrils of passion
Kept faulting her of remissness
Until it landed on her palm at last

I snatched a glance
Linear to my mother's eyes

Her eyes overfilled with tears
Overpowered by emotions

And I surveyed the configuration of the sea
Being yielded through the fall of my own

It still feel like yesterday,
when I held you in my arms,
and never wanted to let you go
You were mine, I was yours
Till thee wheel falls off,
and Forever and always

The scariest Beast, unexpected came,
came like rushing mighty wind,
and took you without saying goodbye
I moan and groan till I fail to stand on my own,
just like the lilies I withered,
and half of thy heart never ressurected from thy odeal
I felt the wreath of its anger,
but never with disconnection of saying GOODNIGHT

There I was,
lying next to him,
as he lied underneath my head
feeling all kind of warmth of his chest,
vulnerable on each others arms,
feeling the softness of both our skin,
I took a blink,
because all to me was like a dream,
a dream that I don't ever wanna wake up,
Slow like the movement of a tortoise,
I open my eyes to check if I'm not dreaming
And there I was,
not dreaming but brimming with love

You taught me insecurity,
You taught me that my emotions,
are meaningless and unworthy
You taught me that women don't cry,
but the salty water have stained my heart

You left me with scars,
Scars that I'm never afraid to show,
Scars that have become my stepping stone to greatness
My wings have been mended again,
I'm learning to fly on my own

The rising of the waves in this sea
Are like the beating of hearts in degree
As you lie here beside me

When I take a glance at thyself,
surely God has put an extra essence for such beauty
The flawless radiance of thy skin,
that even flies cannot dare to touch,
in surrender of thy beauty,
is exquisite
Even if she can choose a thing to vow on her beauty,
not even a human being words,
can be of a sentimental vaue,
only the heart can define such
She is beautiful,
even the book of song of songs were written,
in the fascination of her beauty

How do I dream
in this land of no hope
where dreams are becoming more invalid
and has reached a stalemate?

Allow my mind to be blank
and dream of no dreams
on this demoralized land of ours
that keeps our dreams hanging within the space

How do I keep on dreaming
on the land that shutters my dreams
and turn a blind eye on the reality of my dreams?

How do I keep on dreaming
while my dreams keep flashing out
to not making it to scratch
resulting to unanswered dreams
just like bunch of unanswered prayers?

I dream of no dream
as they only hit dead end

In the end it made sense
When I enhanced
Personally for us
Yet he still chose himself

Dear black love
How courageous you are,
to embark on a journey you do not know how it will turn out
How humble you are,
to trust your hearts and just listen to the silence
It is sweet and beautiful as you walk this journey
hand in hand relying on each other

Just like a vehicle written off
to my mind also it was written off that true love exist
Till I met you then you changed my perspective
and you left me with no any other option than to believe
How you get lost in each other's arms,
how you define love getting too different,
of what English dictionary define love
I guess that is love

Dear black love
Just like a heart always sing the song incomplete
until another heart sing back and complete the lyrics
Your love is so sweet
it smells like a fresh aroma in the morning sunrise
Your love is beautiful
like multitude of stars shining in the evening dawn
Your love is fascinating
like God miracles performed in the book of life

As you are ready to say I do
and ink your vows on pieces of papers
I'll stand as your witness
and witness the eternal love
being channelled right in front of my eyes
Dear black love

The door to tommorow,
Opens in the shadows of today,
So brush aside the path of sorrow,
And make your way

Changing your appurtenance,
To tackle your tomorrow with less scowl,
As you swing regrets into experience,
And channel through your scope

Love her not
Other keeps on rejecting her

Forgive her not
Other keep tracks of her sins

Save her not
Other left her to die in misery

Please stay not
And give false hope
As if you gonna stay
Whereas you gonna leave
Just as others left

Please stay not
Don't try to stay
As she always disappoint
Yes she always does they said

But it is okay....

I tried
to live on my own
cause I thought
I didn't need anybody,
on my own I could manage
I thought I didn't need grace
as well as mercy,
believing they are things of the ancient times
Incriminating myself at this moment,
self sufficient, no success
Till I went as I am before the creater and said,
any moment as desired,
as a vessel, use me
as an offering, myself, I offer,
as you desire, I am here
I'll avail myself as your sacrifice,
because in you I found a hiding place
Candidate of your mercy,
is who I am
Beneficiary of your grace,
is what I got awarded with

To the unsettled world
where dreams are mostly shattered,
and plans mostly fail to make it to reality
Where victories are never guaranteed,
and faith is the only thing you try to hold on to,
I hope my prayers are made valid

I promise I'll love more of you tomorrow
Than the agony I inaugurated on thee today
And catalyse our memoir through our yesterday

Loving you has always been more than breathing to me
If I take a wink and never breath again,
our love has hit the very end of our journey here on Earth
But as I cross to thee other side I'll be loving you still

My love for you keep my heart beating like a sweet melody,
that keep playing at the back of my mind with no ending
Even if the genre of the music changes,
my heart forever hold the sound of the melody we created
And till eternity I'll be loving you still

That you cannot see it,
Neither touch it,
Yet it is felt,
When you place thy hand
In my beating heart,
And it begin to beat so fast,
As if heart attack is calling me,
Yet it is the affection,
The heart only recognizes as its own
THAT IS LOVE

Perfect people for perfect family
Perfect family for perfect internal peace
Internal peace leading to everlasting joy
Only to find out that everlasting joy don't last forever
Its only a matter of time before its all gone in vein
Yet we think we never deserved it all

Why do this kind of love gives us false hope,
As if we can stay like this forever?
Why do happiness come and mislead us,
whereas it is gonna depart from us within a blink of an eye?
It is all pain pain pain and pain again
It is all tears tears tears and tears again,
Until shedding our tears becomes a daily bread

Daddy's name is called pain,
we find a hiding place in him no more, and lost a long of belonging
Mommy's name is courageous no more but lonely,
that bright smile I used to wake up to in the morning its all gone and buried
that sweet warm hug I used to get before I went to bed,
has turned out to be the coldest planet within her arms
And they named me sorrow,
because bitterness dine at the palm of my hands and I am angry,
angry at the world where I feel suffocation of every second

Perfect family for who? Perfect peace for who?
Its all down the drain because of this man called pain!

If the mind is trapped
Let say incarcerated
Or snared in a web
Like a helpless bird

Maybe the brain is bound
Same as imprisoned
Creating the adversity
But still choose to envy the universe

On this sunny day
with thy uncertain certainty of thee earth
the wind blowing from east to west
allow me to smile from cheek to cheek
the broken chords of my guitar
is no longer broken
but playing beautiful sweet melodies
that is allowing me to smile from cheek to cheek

It is a brand new day
full of hope and generosity
and my strings is resting beneath a new born sun
as I play a new a song
song which have never been heard on thee face of the earth
through this customized guitar full of unbroken chords
through these adjusted strings of hope
releasing melodies like of new Jerusalem
as I dance through this rhythmic of my worship
Smiling from cheek to cheek

Your lust for me,
I confused it with love
Mishandling of me I thought it was love,
turned out to be the biggest scar acquired by my heart
The tears I shared in your care,
I loved you still in believe that you'll learn to love me

Tears dried
Feelings died
The heart got Broken beyond repair
And the warmth of your chest got colder and colder
All because I thought it was love,
Love which was never Enough

Shhh Listen,
to the beautiful sound of these lilies,
Listen attentively
to the sweet melodies they are making,
They are blossoming,
just like a morning sunrise
They are glowing,
like a colorful butterfly in the Spring season
Just as the human need oxygen, water I'll give them,
as I dine in their shadow and lend them an ear
these dozen bunch of my  lilies

Into thy belly,
she was deposited
Into thy heart,
she was positioned
In the midst of hopeless circumstances,
she yearned to find aspiration,
and aspiration was placed in the life of her unborn

Into thy unsettled earth,
she was birthed full of life
Into her mama's warm chest,
she found her pillow to rest,
uncertain of the obligation she ought to fulfil
To the unfulfilled destiny,
she was obliged to fulfil it
And She named her HOPE,
in faith that with her wings resting upon her unseen power,
she will forever desire to fly high and fulfil what couldn't be fulfilled

Go ahead and blame him,
blame him for eliminating the pain he was feeling,
blame him for ending the emptiness he was feeling,
"He took the easy way out" they say,
but he chose life didn't he?

Sorrow after sorrow,
grief after grief,
Don't you think this burden was just too much?
too much for him to carry on his shoulders?
He only wanted life of no sorrow,
that is why he took his own life

He is the I am,
He is the truth,
truth that bring eternal life
He is the way,
way which lead to everlasting life,
life that knows no end even in the afterlife

Who is he that He says He is,
that Some calls Him teacher?
Some calls Him Rabbi?
and Some say He is Messiah?
He is who said that through Him,
you shall see the father

In the beginning was you
God visibility of the spoken word
Of which became flesh
Unblemished Jesus tendered as a sacrificial lamb

The son nourished through the Holy Spirit
Propagated through the ****** Mary
Clothed with the garment of the glory
Only for His blood to spill on the cross of agony

Eyes dripping
Tears full of blood,
with half quarter of my heart,
bleeding over love,
which was never suppose to hurt,
but rather to be drunk on it,
and swim in the ocean full of happiness

Its better to love than to never love at all
But what if love can never be enough,
to the extent where my heart is able to accommodate?
Maybe is my calling,
calling to stay alone and nurse my insecurities
as I dine in the pool of my sorrow
witnessing the ocean of my happiness dry