Eyes dripping
Tears full of blood,
with half quarter of my heart,
bleeding over love,
which was never suppose to hurt,
but rather to be drunk on it,
and swim in the ocean full of happiness

Its better to love than to never love at all
But what if love can never be enough,
to the extent where my heart is able to accommodate?
Maybe is my calling,
calling to stay alone and nurse my insecurities
as I dine in the pool of my sorrow
witnessing the ocean of my happiness dry

Where thy soul stood
Is a blissfully wedded being
Whereas what is hidden within
Is mutilated pieces

To the love I desired,
and to the rejection I got
To the appointment I set,
and to the disappointment I failed to have control upon
To the weakness that made me shiver through down my spine,
as if I was never strong enough to do it my own

Through the bleeding heart,
which can never be cut into pieces
Through thee knock down,
which can never be turned into knock out
I have been made strong

Stabbed a million times with a butcher knife,
you still stand
You still stand when the doors you only knew,
are closing up on you and the don't seem to be a way out

Broken down a thousand times,
with a feeling that you can rise no more
but just like waves rising up I'll rise
Even waves sometimes don't rise under certain circumstances,
but at the right time they rise

Still trying to forget
That traumatic experience
Yet I still remember
As if it was a day before today

In the middle of nowhere
Horrified to the core
Like I was witnessing thee end
Frightened as if I was about to be swallowed

Yet I was being spooked
With haunted laughs over and over again
Even though I tried to close those ear drums
Still I felt that laugh as I kept running
And running to the wrong direction

From nowhere
Came a hand
Directing me somewhere
Out of this habituated land
At least I thought so

Only to realize that...
That I have been taken into this haunted cave again
While calling and calling unanswered
Trapped for dear life, as I accept defeat
Only to open my eyes
And realize that It was just a dream

Poet? I am not thee
I construct sentences,
and give them a rhythmic flow,
like a lyricist composing a song
From meaningless words
to sugarcoated words,
turning into those sweet melodies,
like chords of Sanchez playing love song,
in the hands of a guitarist

They say I am a poet,
but I am just a verse writer,
who never renders but write

Love arrives like a whirlwind
Caught you between a rock
Either take you to the highest of highest
Or to the lowest of the lowest

All the way to the misunderstanding of you
Through uncontrollable feelings
Of which cannot be understood
Whereas her theory of love is drafted differently

Beneath each smirk
Lies a thorn *****
Always leaving a mark

Today I woke up
Closed my eyes again
And said a little prayer
Then again I went silent
Yet I had so much to say

Heart was pouring out
Silent as the lips were
Flowing as the tears were
With every breath I was able
Yet I said only "Thank you"

Can you see this darkness,
darkness that is buried within her soul?
Can you feel this heaviness,
this heaviness that is blinding thy heart?
Can you sense this emptiness,
this emptiness that is making her soul to wonder?

She just wanna be free,
free of this undescribable feeling,
free from this undefinable feeling,
free out of this unpleasant chapter,
the chapter that brought sorrow and grief

He is Quarantined on thee other side
Whereas she is Isolated on the side of the sea
But feeling of them missing each other is so deep,
deep than the depth of an ocean
Holding on the beautified love they share
but the world going beyond to keep them apart

He is her knight in shining amour
She is his strength to keep going on
And the Father being a rope,
Surely their love will never wither,
unlike an unwatered flower that withers and die

The blood boiled in thy veins
as the biological structure yearned
Yearned for thy touch
yearned for thy moan out of every pleasure
and yearning for thy tongue to do the dance out of storm,
from thy lips down to thy toe
to the spine up to the edge of thy neck

Eagerly wanting all of her
as she desired all of thy soul
thrusting through in and out of her
like a broken kitchen knife that has thrusted a bit through the unit
uttering agonizing moan as the ***** broke
malfunctioning on each other arms

He loved,
but in the process,
He got Broken beyond repair
Cried himself to sleep,
with the hope that the pain will ease

Brand new day came, so bright,
but pain blinded his heart,
and all he could see was darkness,
darkness he lost faith upon
And he promised to never love again

I cannot marry a poet,
who will worship the ground of his ink,
getting captivated through each page,
forming supremacy over it,
more than a beautiful part of my heart,
neither sweet wet kisses planted,
on each tiny part of his body

His ink will be jealous of me,
that I'm taking it spot in his heart,
even his deepest secrets,
get recognized by turn of each page,
before reaching these ear drums of mine,
like a tabloid chronicle that missed a deadline

I cannot marry a poet,
who will not allow me,
to touch his pen,
neither give me a green light to drown,
on the authored pages of his journal.

All I needed was to see the fascinating creation of thee earth,
but you never saw it worthy for me to experience it all
All I wanted was to ride beneath a new born sun with you,
but you failed to see the future ahead of your imagination
Thee cruelty of thee earth you thought I was never ready for,
could have been my very own strength to make you hold on

I'm before your presence with an apologetic heart,
that you got blinded by sorrow and failed to see my worth
I'm sorry mama, Sorry...
that you never saw your chest worthy as my perfect pillow
Into thy womb you commanded my spirit
And back to the creator you placed me

Fell head over heel in love,
I'm telling you I did
Gave him my heart,
as well as my being,
I dedicated all to him
Talking about the oxygen I breath,
he was that kind of oxygen that gave me life
Let go of my dreams,
to accommodate something which was never mine

Talking about life with no guarantee,
he left me within a blink of an eye
"I've found someone else" he said
I smiled with so much heartache,
as if I can hear him say he's bluffing,
He bended to kiss my forehead,
as if its not the last time I smell this cologne,
I introduced him to and say
"I wish you the best"
He left me with nothing,
while I gave him everything
Talking about life with no guarantee

Wasted time,
Busy collecting stones,
Making fortune,
Building life over love

Elder I am,
Full of regrets,
Drooling over Rom com,
No hand holding mine,
But tear escaping thy eye,
Over "I should have"

Aging all alone,
written off love,
at tender age,
where I was supposed to find,
a piece of completion for cracky days

You told me it's going to be alright
Without you beside me feel wrong

Never shed a tear when missing me darling
As you whispered in my ears
But there is a tear everytime that I blink

Always look up in the sky
To see my smile written within the clouds
As stipulated in the note you left
But it keeps fading away every time I try reach out

And you left me with a promise
That the pain will get better in time
Just as the grass withers in season
But this scar remain fresh
As if it has been butchered recently

Barefoot on the grass,
with our eyes lifted up in the sky
In the evening dawn full of stars
stars which can only be counted
through each heartbeat we take
because they say heart don't lie
I love you

If these three words
don't have a sentimental value
still will be alright
as what I feel in the inside
hold no valuable explanation
just unexplainable sensation
of this tiny self longing more of you
I love you

Wonderful made
with a diamond heart
that carries the sword by the sharp
through the bleeding hands
but still carries it through regardless

Overprotective of her cubs
like a Lion protecting its cubs
in the desserted land
where it so dark and dry
with no hope of making it
to broad daylight
Remember those bleeding hands
where she still give the warmest hugs

Miracle worker is who she is
her hands perform miracle
in the midst of what can't be undone
through the evening dawn
where the moon and the stars has become doomed

Energetic will be underestimation
rather define her as an empowerer
who empowers her cubs to believe in the impossible
because through her there is nothing that cannot be done

Natural is who she is
she don't pretend to be stuck on gender equality
but rather portray numerous character
that nature force her to carry on daily basis
to make the running of her household effortlessly
She is a woman

As an introvert
kind of a person,
I say less
and write more
Because words come to me
and demand to be written

Heartache can fade,
Dreams can fade,
Hope can be lost,
so as faith
But the love of ink,
in the piece of a paper,
can never fade away
My diary and my pen got my back

I thought and thought
Thought that pain,
is like a flower
A flower that wither when its not watered,
A flower that lose essence when its not nursed,
But pain never wither,
like stain it stays right in your heart
Bit by bit leaving emptiness at thy precious soul

In this rainy day,
where everything is uncertain,
and storms keep shutting the open doors,
tell me I'll be alright
I've been soaked,
in the ocean of this tears that refuse to stop,
in these dark holes that keep shutting down on me,
tell me I'll be alright

I have hope,
that I can see the rise of a rainbow,
the sunset in the direction of the east,
if only you can tell me I'll be alright

If life belonged to each one of us
We wouldn't be fascinated
Of what tomorrow hold for us

Even if the oceans run dry
And the lake freeze
I'll hold thou hand and still try
To channel thy dream through ripple breeze

Even if we end up in a foreign land
In the place of the desert
This chest will remain your Ieland
Just as thou landed in thy heart

Even if the wind blew
To threaten our peace
Tight our grip will grow
And against all odds we'll stand

Brighter our love will be
Like a camera light in the set
More like the dazzling light of the glory
Just as thou belong to thee

I the end it was just me and my thoughts,
A painful trap, long after you were gone
Gone from thee eyes of the universe,
as well as from these fascinating midnight dreams of mine
Countless times I closed my eyes,
trying to retrieve our happy times we spent together,
of times I smelled the lillies you once gifted me with,
that maybe I'll be able to smell that sweet aroma,
you always brought in the room

I am dying in the inside,
as each picture of how you used to look like,
is fading away slowly from the eyesight of my mind
In the end it was just me and my thoughts,
shattered dreams and no touching of hands,
as I watch you ride beneath the pampered glass of thine heart

They were perfect partners,
a match made in heaven I could say
They were perfect for each other,
like Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden you could tell
Their love kept on blossoming like a morning sunrise,
the love written within the limit of the sky you could see
As they journey together and disappear into thin air hand in hand,
it was as if their love were part of art that keep luring souls in the art gallery

She adored him more each day,
as she imagined them growing grey hair together,
but he was starting to love her less
The sparkle between his eyes were no more,
but she adored him still,
not knowing that he adores her no more
The affection towards her were gone,
like a rain passing by in a sunny day,
but she was holding on to the vows that he promised to never break
He took a glance at her as he lifted her chin up
and said "Thank you for the wonderful years we spent together"
as if he wanted to compliment her submissive nature,
but to end the reunion that they vowed their life on

She stood there looking so pale,
with so much tears rolling down through those glowing chicks
as her lips trembled to say words she'll never mean,
and her jewel tongue got stuck between the swollen of her lips,
as if it was cut and left lifeless
He took his hands and wipe off her tears,
as she failed to hold it together,
realizing that the comfort of those hands were going forever,
as he continued to say "I'll treasure our moments till thee end"
She looked straight into his eyes,
as if she could hear him say "I'm bluffing"
but that was thee end of their love
The era of her break down
But his heart belonged somewhere else

Back to the cell
Where I long for freedom
and a breeze of a sunlight
and to be excused of unjustified doings I did

But at this moment,
none of it matter than the hunger that I feel
But the thing that can only quench it seems unreachable,
just like the key that defines my freedom
As the the sky is the limit,
so is my strength to getting the bread of life

To the key of freedom,
I stretched not my hand
But to the bread that sustain life,
I stretched out my hand to have a piece of it
The bread of life that shall keep me alive

Handcuffed
Bruised
Detention
Cooped up in this tiny room

Hysterical
Terrorised
Trapped in this web
Mind full of thoughts

Trials
Tribulations
Persecutions almost all side
Arrows shooting all directions

Becoming talk of the town
Painted as carnivores
And Crucified by humankind
Still they remain unshakable

It is in the middle of the night
tossing and turning
with no wink of sleep
trying to find thyself again and again
grazing within the space
in the darkest room so cold
cold of insecurity and uncertainty
of what day after today brings
whether more sorrow or grinding of teeth
maybe grace and mercy or glory

Let me have your hand
so that I place it on my beating heart
as it keeps longing for you lying here next to me
and hear it beat with undying love for you

Let me grab your hand
as I ride beneath a new born sun
with my Thoroughbred horse
as it get swifter and swifter
like the beating of our combined heart