It keeps me sane,
That I keep tears in my pocket

For I know whenever I long for you,
Knowing I'll never see you again,
I'll just unzip and let it all out.

#griefjourney #griefislove #engravedinmyheart

Faith, Hope, love,
Laughter, smile,
Even ray of sunshine,
I had it all

Until the clouds beat the drums,
And uncertainty arose,
I lost it all
Yet I once had it all

The nervousness within her cheeks,
From the warmth of his hands,
Ignite the light within her eyes,
And yet recount unutterable feeling,
Hidden deep within her heart.

What if humans
were not created to be happy?
Only to exist, then deteriorate,

To the underworld where we belong,
Whatever it is,
Life seems to have no truth.

When the anticlimax is reached,
And the clock checks off,
I want you to know,
There is nothing she didn't try.

I would despise the rainbow,
Whenever it stopped raining
As It felt like I was beginning to miss you less,
For everytime I felt the raindrop,
I knew you were closer

I should have loved you from a distance,
That way I would have preserved this fragile piece of mine.

I found missing pieces,
In this board of riddle I assembled,
And only I realized,
It is not just them incomplete,
So is everything

I hate to break it to you,
Believe me,
It's not my intention,

Don't be frightened of the journey,
Trust me, it's going to get better,
Yet it's never going to heal

Memories you'll get to hold forever,
that's a promise,
So is the excruciating pain with no promise of letting you go,
which will reside within you until the end date.

Trying to make calculations of it all,
Nothing seems to make sense
Everything is just shackles of glasses,
Where it is forever new,
Feels like there is nothing to look forward to

Others grieve their loved ones,
Others have no meal to share amongst each other,
But others have, Yet with no one to share it with,
Others tries to keep it together,
Yet it feels like it doesn't wanna be kept

Lord, we are so empty,
So is this Christmas...

with just one stolen glance into each other's eyes,
a picture perfect of our love was designed

we laid on each other's arms throughout the night,
and made promises too perfect to be broken

Honestly, if eternity calls our names,
I'm picking up the call,
and get to do this lifetime thing with you

you were just someone I met on the road,
yet you found your way into my heart,

I gave you a place to hide,
yet in the end I was just someone you used to know.

in the middle of the night
where your eyes are never closing
and the River is forever flowing

stand there over the window
close your eyes and feel the breeze
healing might find a permanent home

I do not desire to dine outside my dreams,
As they have became my daily bread,

I get to feel you,
I get to touch you,
And I get to hug you one more time,

For in there you are forever presence.

As they upheld you,
with their precious wings,
I thought they will stop a minute,
halfway through to Heaven,
look at my fragile heart not ready to let go,
Yet nothing.

I acknowledge you,
I feel your presence,

Just one request,
Please, don't stay forever.

In my closet
I allow the sky to pour,
And take away the rainbow

I allow doubt to feed my mind,
And convince me otherwise

The smile moves away in seconds
At last no one judges me!
I get to feel however and whatever.

From that point in time,
When I grasped a pen and a paper,
The transmission began,
Of which no soul could fathom.

Lately I realized, that is my hiding place.

Since you gained your wings,
They now refer you as my past,
Yet you are forever present,
In my heart, In my thoughts
And in our frozen reminiscences
Of which each glance Stir the pool of Bethesda,
within my eyes, every time.

It is another day,
still learning to catch a breath,
yet I feel out of oxygen


I stopped counting the hours,
days, even the months
What's the point?

As time keep dashing,
like a midnight train,
yet the sky still pours,
Whenever and wherever.

I pushed myself to the mirror
Yet we looked at each other
With no recognition...

is when the pain within my wounds
deepens,
yet I choose nor death neither life,

I just aspire to be OKAY!

Dearest Bubblegum,
I chewed you while sweet,
Till tasteless and of no use,
Spit you out as far away as possible

Then life returned the favor,
Of treating me kind until comfortable,
Yet threw me into the Lion's den...
How bittersweet!

I STAYED ON THE LINE
AS YOUR VOICE WENT  STILL AS THE NIGHT

LOOKED UP IN THE SKY
TO WATCH YOU TRANSITION
TO THE THEE OTHER SIDE

YET I BLINKED TWICE
AND IT RAINED ON ME

The truckload that sails within our shoulders,
Overweighs our struggling edges
We walk to find the pace,
countless sighs along the way,
But we will get there

There is this sadness,
I haven't felt in a minute,
It feels as though blood is dripping,
out of my heart
And my eyes are drowning,
in the deepest ocean
Once again today,
I'm not strong,
I found weakness within my sadness...

If it pours tonight,
It should be proof,
That I once loved.

If love came in colours,
Definitely it would be white,
Undecorated yet pure.

Only your absence,
Taught me the significance of time
For in the presence,
I only have recollections hidden within my heart,
Not your availability.

Nor I know the colour of your love,
Have memories that are dear to heart,
Neither a photograph to relive our yesterday

It is just a sound of your name,
I've heard in one of the fantasies,
Though our path never crossed,
Yet my heart yearns for you.

Dashes as same as the midnight bird!
It doesn't stay long,
Yet keeps you awake
But it come and goes,
And leave you running after it,
Because we can never be on time.

I fell in love
And out of love with you
When truthfulness expired between us.

Sometimes I dive in the ocean I'm unable to swim,
Too deep and three hundred and sixty degree freezing,
A trauma on its own right?

Well, I drown while wearing my smiling face,
with no one to pull me up,
but a pen and a piece of a paper.

The execution take place without our Will,
Yes! No! Steadfast or not,
The Angel shows no compassion.

You board the train already geared to take off,
With no alert who will be getting off from here,
You or the passenger next to you!

Incriminating of oneself to criminal prosecution,
Into a place where its dark and cold as highways of California
Hands on my back bound to bottom in chains,
With no where to hide

A long walk to freedom,
As I drag my feet to the right,
And look up in the sky with my eyes closed
Finally, I could see a tiny cloud to liberation of Sunday morning blues.

No embrace,
No affection,
Just a titanic building called a house,
With no warmth of your nature

Just so you know,
You took our home with you!

Debts get written off,
whenever a debtor become insolvent
And I wonder why it can't be the same procedure,
for the agony shrouded deep within
It has been long overdue.

I kept missing you each moment,
And I scribbled you a text
It came back in the twilight,
Not delivered!

With fists on air ready to fight,
I came into this world
Separated with a home I only knew,
I let out a soft moan then fell asleep
With a touch of her hand,
I gazed into the world full of uncertainty
And I was attached,
attached to a home that isn't my home
Creating rooms where hatch are forever terminal

I wish we do not have to follow the pattern,
But humans were created to love and be loved,
Love which comes with greater agony
I believe when creation took place,
"Forever" should have form part,
Then we would be together for a lifetime

Yet it begins with one,
Then two becoming one,
And swivel into a family
"Till we meet again in heaven"
Then again, On my own
With my universe turned upside down!