Freeze.
I stand still, waiting for a single whisper.
If I move,
Will everything good disappear?
Holding onto the memories that help me stay quite
Wondering if this moment will ever pass.

I woke up wondering what happened to us.
Sitting by the phone waiting for it to ring,
Hours pass, and no text messages are sent.
I remember when we stayed up all night chatting until the sun came up.
Picturing what our futures hold,
Now all I see is empty memories of what could have been.

He was my first love,
My first heartbreak.
The only person who could hurt me worse than my self.
He also loved me more than anyone else could.
He was the voice of reason but also brutal.
I gave him everything to be thrown out with nothing.
The worlds I love you forever replay in my head when sitting alone at night.
How could someone love you that much and regret meeting the next??

Stay where you are.
Don't move, or everything will go up in flames.
I wait another minute, hoping this nightmare will go away.
Nothing has changed besides the laughs that turned into wines.
No one knows if we will get out.
Stay where you are, or be ready to fight something you can't see.

I wish he knew how much my heartbeat,
Even if my part of me fears the worst.
Deep down, I’m scared that one day I will wake up, and he’ll be far gone, that I will be left as a fading memory.
One day all the love you could turn into nothing more than words.

Medicine,
I wish I didn't need it to survive.
Take a sip of water to swallow the pill keeping me alive.
Medicine,
I used to think it was a weakness to rely on something to make me feel "normal."
Medicine,
Either make me better or worse, but I wouldn't be here without it.

I watched her fall out of love faster than anything else.
The smiles turned into tears.
Late nights went to early goodbyes.
The worst was hearing the pain in her voice when saying I love you for the last time.
That's how I knew it was over.

My mind desires him,
Even at the dead of night.
For if the house goes cold,
My thoughts of him warm my heart.

The sky is giving me a warning sign.
A dark x which tells us to run,
Run and don't look back.
The world is playing games with our minds and nothing can save us if we stay.
Stars are getting darker instead of brighter.
The screams are getting louder,
Families are getting torn apart.
It's hard to tell what's going to happen if we leave with out everyone.
The x is getting bigger
Time is almost out.
What will we do?

She trusted him with everything,
He took it and destroyed it after a day.
She thought it was by mistake,
Gave him one more chance.
He did it once again.
Laughed at the look of her teary eyes.

The man with all the secrets,
Still only cares about himself.
Unless a pretty woman walks across his view.
He will forget all respect and hopes that make her beg for me.
The man will date others to make her jealous.
This will happen until she gives in or he finds someone new to mess with.

I wish I could write without him on my mind.
Before he controlled my memories and made me forget my weaknesses.
I wish I could write without having to think,
How it used to be before I was in love,
Before I let him get inside my walls.
I wish I could write my sadness Away without having to stop.

He's scared of letting go,
She helped him believe again.
She didn't have a family,
He became her missing piece.

If I was lost, would you be there to help me find my way?
Some days will be tough,
There are days that you'll need a second to breathe.
If I finished early would you give me other things to do?
Some times will be louder than can imagine,
Take a second to help the class get back to a softer tone.
If I was falling behind, would you stay longer to help me catch up?
Some students won't want to learn,
Put on your thinking cap and try to take the stress away.
If I didn't believe in myself, would you teach me how?

When love comes to my door.
Would I let him in or turn his body away so I can’t be broken later.
He stands a few feet away with a smile and open arms.
I want him to come closer to hold my body.
I’m nervous about giving someone my young heart to keep in this hand.
When he comes knocking on my door I will give my love in return for his.

The boy who is closed off,
But comes running the second you text him.
He will be there,
You won't see him entering.
The goofy laugh he gives will shine in a darkened room.
He is closed but will let you in slowly.

I love you, that's it.
Let the whole world listen while I scream as loud as my body lets me.
I love you
Everything else is gone when you are next to me.
I love you
The time that is taken is given back to me when you are in my arms.
I love you
Never will I want to stop saying these three words.
I love you.
Even when I'm confused about everything else, I know how I feel about you.

Does he think of me?
When we are apart, does he wants all of me or dread coming home.
The smile is probably a mask to hide his pain.
He says he wants me,
His eyes tell a different story.
The Look says he is thinking of a way to leave.
Does he think of me or the boy he wishes I could be?
Please tell me how you really feel.
I can't be someone who wants to be anywhere else but home.

Don't get mad.
I say with a nervous giggle,
Never knowing how they respond.
Tip toeing around my own house,
Not wanting to spark a ticking time bomb.
The silence gets louder,
My mind starts to scream.
Please don't get mad.
The only phase I knew in the broken home.
Hoping one day someone will understand why I start to shake when they raise their voice.

I smile.
Does he notice how nervous I am?
My voice is shaking,
I’m starting to sweat.
He looks back at me and waves.
I start to blush,
I hope this isn't the end.

The sky is split between light and darkness.
Looks like the night I can't forget about.
Cries that were louder than the noise in my head.
It's been eight and half months.
Now the tears remind of strength of a day that could of ended way worse.

Writing helps let out the words buried inside.
My voice may disappear, but my poems never run out.

Trauma is funny like that…
The best jokes come from it,
Hiding the pain that lives underneath the laughs.
Trying hard to remember the lost childhood,
Wondering why it's so blurry.
Trauma is funny like that...
It's a wild card that will come out at any time.
Giving us endless stories to tell,
Hoping not to scare anyone off all the damage.

If only he understood how hard it is not to Relapse,
To Ignore the buzzing in my head that screams at night.
If only he could see the fear behind the smiles,
the Numbness after all Images go through my mind.
One day it won't affect me,
But today, I hope for a second chance.

I'm bipolar.
I can't sit still when I'm at my highs or focus on the little things.
I want to do it all and spend the money that I don't have.
I can be your best friend or your worst Enemy.
I go from extreme lows to never feel better in months.
From fighting to stay alive to feeling as if I could never die.

All I want is answers,
Answers to why you left me alone.
Not even a text letting me know why it happen.
I may of sent the text but your the one that ended this a long time ago.

He used his words as chains to hold her tight,
She believed everything, even when the truth showed itself.
Her love kept her in place after everything else disappeared.

Break me,
I don't care anymore.
I am ready for my faith, after all.
Are you?

Somedays, I dream of never leaving; until I open my eyes, I see how real the day becomes.
I beg for nighttime to come sooner to take me away from this place.

I look in the mirror and I see her.
The person I don’t want to be anyone.
The person who I wish will disappear for good.
I look in the mirror and want to run away but she is always with me.
There is no where to go.
No where to hide.
I look in the mirror on last time and see the things she left behind.

Stop it!!
I hear him.
Hear who?
The voice in my head telling me to go.
He said, trust me, follow me to the bath.
I go and only see my reflection
It's staring back at me with a grin.
I scream it's not time yet
He doesn’t care.
I scream louder to get away,
I see everyone staring at me but why?
Did no one else see this?
I found out it was in my mind.

Wake me from this dream,
I've been here too long.
Things are starting to seem too real.
I scream but no one hears a word,
Everyone tells me I'm awake.
Wake me up from this lost land I call home.
Please don't leave me here forever.
I'm not ready to stay.

My weakness is myself,
Afraid to disappoint the voice that begs for more.
The thoughts used to never end,
Only way to shut them up was to listen.
My weakness was myself,
I knew how to cause pain better than anyone.

I’m sorry you let me in
Now I’m a broken puzzle
All the pieces are broken.
Things won’t change,
Tape won’t cover the missing parts.
I thought you loved me.
I was just an object in your life.
I kept trying to make it work,
I just got a fire thrown at me.
If this love,
I don’t want to love anymore.

He fell out of love faster then he in fell in love with me/
I thought it was supposed to be the opposite, but I guess not.
My heart was still healing, but he moved on.
I watch this movie waiting for a better ending to find something.
I’m the sad lover waiting for a fairy tale that will ever come true.

Watching a movie, you hate on repeat all day/ night long.
listing to the same sad song even though you cry every time.
Want to run to get out of your thoughts but it ends up jogging right next to you.
Hearing people talk but thinking they hate you.
Watching people hang out with you only to believe it’s all a trick.

I didn't know happiness could be so sweet.
I'm afraid to let my wall down,
Knowing all this could be gone.
What if I wake up and this all a dream?
I can't go back,
The scares are still fading.
My heart is broken, slowly getting back together.
I was knocking on death's door,
I'm finally Afraid of leaving.

Why would someone want me.
I seen the way how the world works.
I’ve seen many people live in my life and Not come back.
I have seen the way that people look at me with pity and sorrow.
I want someone to love who isn’t scared to speak who isn’t afraid to be themselves.
I’m sorry if I’m a little needy I’m sorry if I see the worst in things.
So would you if you seen what I’ve seen.

The wind blowing as the hair is flowing in the moment.
Wearing coats too big but keeps us just as warm.
Time to fall in love while drinking cocoa.
The bad memories are starting to fade like a rainy day.
The good is staying put like your conversions.
At the end of the night, we all stare at the same snow falling from the tress.
I wished on a shooting star to keep this day with us forever.

The snow glitters in the sunlight
Wind pushes it side to side, making a mess.
The taste of hot cocoa on my lips while watching
A family movie. Listing to the soft sound of laughing with all the joy of a little kid.
Waiting for a snow day wishing, the lottery will happen. The feeling of late-night stories by the fire.
The one pill to cure anything bad.

I wish I could change the past.
I wish I never told you that I liked you.
Deep down, I hoped you felt the same way,
I thought that's why you always stayed up to text me.
I was stuck in my dream, not wanting to believe The truth.
I waisted so much of our friendship stuck in my bubble.
I wish I could change the past and get back what I miss so much.
Please, will you be my best friend again?

My voice may wonder with the darkness,
It may be gone for weeks but my heart will never leave.

If I just go, would you follow me?
If I go for a ride, would you join?
I want to believe you won’t leave me.
I think that you still care, but I think all a lie.
I want you to stay with me.
I want you to care if I was done.
I miss the old days, but you changed.
You don’t care about me as you used too.
I’m just awaiting piece ready for the next move.
Please just come back to me.
I still care.

Hi
Do you remember me?
No
Ok
Let me tell you a story
You were my first love,
You were my only reason for happiness.
One day you left out of the blue.
Before this, you told me I was everything.
The cherry to your Sunday.
I beloved you.
I wish I didn’t.
Bye now

It's ok not to be ok.
I was afraid of saying this for so long.
Depression doesn't live your body,
It just sticks with you for life.
It's ok to cry, let the tears be free.
Scream to let people know you aren't good.
Don't hide the broken from the world.
One day you will be fixed.
The first step is letting us know you need it.
Pain doesn't just go away.
I will be your guard from the bad.
First, I need to know what I'm fighting.

Young love, they say,
Remember the moments of their past as they look at us.
Telling us to be careful and to enjoy every second.
Young love,
Used as an insult to make sure we know our place.
That our love is nothing more than new compared to those around ours.
Young love, they say as I walk by.
I smile, knowing that this young love will turn old one day.