I know what she said.
I could see it in her eyes, and I know she meant it.
Trust me.
I won't hurt you.
I will never leave.
I've been through it all before.
I lost my love to a dark battle,
I never them the same Again.
I saw the blood in there eyes,
When they looked at me.
The thought of Betrayal hits me every day.
I wonder would it be better if I never came back?

He was my first love,
My first heartbreak.
The only person who could hurt me worse than my self.
He also loved me more than anyone else could.
He was the voice of reason but also brutal.
I gave him everything to be thrown out with nothing.
The worlds I love you forever replay in my head when sitting alone at night.
How could someone love you that much and regret meeting the next??

I give up.
I'm done trying to make you happy.
I hope you know.
I don't understand why I want your approval.
For once, I want you to call me your son.
Why do I waste my tears on you?
I thought maybe you would reach out.
If you asked me why I'm doing this, I would tell my story.
I would say I don't like my chest,
that I hated looking in the mirror.
The goal was not to destroy the little relationship I still had with you.

My window
I look outside the same window,
Wondering if anything will change.
Will the flowers finally grow today?
I look at it one time, seeing the snowfall on the ground.
Realizing the start of winter finally happened.
I closed my eyes for a minute, and the snow was gone again.
It all started with a little sadness but ended back with summer nights.
We take four seasons for Granted.
One day everything will be different.
There will be no going back.
Today I looked outside my window one more time.

I'm still mad.
I wanted you to call me your son.
I was hoping you would finally come around.
I thought I would be the son you always wanted.
Instead, you call me your daughter when I'm not that anymore.
How can you not see how much you have hurt me?
Why can't I be good enough to be loved for being myself?
You said you love all your children, But does that include me?

If my life was a fairy tale she would still be in my arms.
If I truly loved her,
I would be happy that she found happiness after all the pain.
If there was more time I would try again.
I’m stuck in a nightmare,
Seeing her fall for the man I should of been

I look back to see her standing there. She was all alone, but her smile said something else.
I waited to make sure everything was ok, and Then it hit me.
The lost girl was hidden behind too many secrets,
She just wanted to be saved but had no one notice.
Finally, she left, but without a smile.
Instead, she wears a warning sign that says, don’t get attached; I won’t be here long.
I looked in the dark window to found out the lost girl took my thoughts.
Now I stand here with someone else smile.

Battle
I was only 17 when my battle started.
Thoughts filled with horror,
Long nights of fear.
I tried pill after pill to fix my issue,
Finally, two and half years later, I was free.
The day I tried my ADHD meds,
It was the day I could finally breathe again.
I’m sorry for leaving,
It was finally time to move on.
I will miss the feel of comfort,
But not the misery that came with it.

I miss it all.
The hellos the goodbyes.
I miss
Him saying I will never leave you that turned into please don’t call me again.
I miss hearing his voice.
I wish this was a nightmare that I could wake up from.
I miss him.

He thought she wanted it to happen.
The smile hid the real feelings because she is too afraid of telling him no.
She would cry it out, believing one day he would care for her,
Instead, he went for someone else.
He said he would stay only to take the first exit out.
If she ever spoke her truth, he would make her think she was crazy.
Now, this girl thinks it's love to be treated this way.
Her first love broke her,
the second made her trust again.

Around and around we go again.
Feeling too low to even breathe.
Begging for the day that forever will Finley end?
Hoping my pain won't be here tomorrow.
Around and around we go again.
I scream in my mind thinking someone will hear my cries.
No one comes because it's all in my head
Around and around we go again.

This wasn't goodbye,
This was a constant reminder that it was in control.
That it can pull me back anytime, anywhere.
I asked to be set free but instead, I cry my mind blank.
Waiting to go numb.
This wasn't goodbye,
Only the reminder that the will always follow me.

He asked the world for a sign.
His hands came up but the earth pushed him down.
They laughed at his weakness.
He asked for a sign to stay,
They gave me nothing hoping he will finally leave everyone alone.
He tried one last time asking but no one noticed his screams or pain.
He asked the world for a sign to stay.
Finally, the world decided to help him fight for another moment.

They said it was a simple mistake.
Hiding the Scaring words behind a steel door.
Wishing one day the secrets will be let free.
Hoping they see the damage that was left behind by their broken love.

I love you.
I often said the words, but I still got the same nervousness as the first time.
Wondering if one day the word will mean something, Different then, I see your life mixed in with mine.
If this were a book, I would read it every night until all the words were memorized front to back.
I hope this is my last beginning to a forever person.
I love you until I find a word only meant for us.

One day it will all make sense.
For now, we stay wishing for the day to come sooner.

She a broken book,
Pages falling out everywhere.
No one takes the time to help put her back together.
She's a broken book,
Hoping to be given one more chance.

I love you,
Until I have no more to give.
I love you,
Until the glass is empty.
I loved her, until The truth came out.

I'm scared, not knowing what to expect,
I trust with everything that's inside of my twisted heart.
Trying to erase half the love styles I saw growing up.
When he says he loves me,
Is that all of me or just parts that he wants to believe?
I'm scared he will not understand the truth when it comes out.
I want him to hold me tighter instead of letting go.

I won't ever beg him to stay,
The day I need to his love will already be too far gone.

Please don't go.
If you leave me, give me the closure I will search for until my heart is whole.
When my heart breaks from the pain, will you pick me up one last time?
When you decide to leave to me in the past.
Promise I will be the last girl you will ever break this badly.

I wish love wouldn’t fade; she would be next to me.
But now I see her in someone else arms.
Regretting every choice that got us here.
If only I cared a little more, Treated her better.
Maybe the love wouldn’t have faded after all.
Then this new man could have been erased from her story.

The sky is split between light and darkness.
Looks like the night I can't forget about.
Cries that were louder than the noise in my head.
It's been eight and half months.
Now the tears remind of strength of a day that could of ended way worse.

I saw the way he looked at her,
He never looked at me that way.
The smile was bigger then anything I ever saw.
He said it's only his friend and nothing to worry about.
That's the same thing my ex said about his new girlfriend.
Why do you think I can't see how you stare at her when you think I'm not looking.
The love is there for me but his love Is slowly fading from his eyes.

The world just paused,
Everything went quite.
Nothing looked the same as the moment before.
All of a sudden I hear the words that bring me back for a second.
I want to break up with you.
The pieces are falling once again,
Will the world ever stay moving or will I be stuck in this time loop for ever.

Days like this I don’t want to forget.
I will miss the laughs and walking down empty fields.
The smiles that could light up a dark sky.
I wish I could freeze today and replay until It comes true again.
I’m going to miss you when this is over.
When this ends up just being a memory

I spent too long in pain.
I am trying pill after pill to silence myself.
Afraid I would lose the battle of living.
I got close too many times,
With only a glimmer of hope left.
I tried the final option,
Which gave me the strength to get better.

Nothing.
Thats what I thought I had before.
Sadly I had pain and sadness instead. I used to wish for the feeling of nothing to get a break from the screaming in my head.
The screaming of seeing pictures of horror and finally the sense of freedom when it would stop.
The screaming only got stronger when it knew it could control me.
I would fight hard, but nothing could have saved me from the darkness.
Finally, a fairy came to me said, close your eyes and count to three.
I opened it and finally, I was back in bed where this all became.
I learned not to go into battle alone.
I still get the nightmares of that day.

Wind
It's soft but mysterious like everyone I know.
It's the sound of storms coming to an end or just beginning.
It's the warning of leave now or waits until hell comes.
I love storms. I think it all started when I was watching it with my older sister.
We would sit on the couches and look at the windows for almost an hour.
That was all before I knew how bad storms could get.
The fighting/ the yelling. The wishing to be in another place type of storm.
When I finally hear the soft sounds, I know it's finally over.
I leave my room and look out to see what the storm has destroyed.
Usually, it's only a few tears are gone,
On bad days the whole town is scared of living there homes.
Not wanting to pick up the pieces.
I wonder when I stop loving looking out the window.
I wonder why storms started to get so bad.
I remember this one night I was still a kid, and the biggest storm I ever saw happen.
All the things I loved got washed away, and then I knew it was time to grow up.
I kept waiting and waiting for the sound of the wind to come by.
But it ever came. All I could hear was the raindrops hitting every crack in the house.
The lighting was getting bigger than cars at this point.
I hid in my room and just waited for the sun to shine again.
It felt like days passed when I Could see the flowers blowing in the wind.
I still think back to this day and wonder why it took so long to pass.
No one remembers these days, so was it all to make them believe?
Was my mind trying to hide me from reality?
Maybe something happened that was worse than the storm in my head.
I look around and hope that the sky stays clear.
Once in a while, when I visit my old town, I can still hear the wind blowing.
Either tell me happiness is coming or run far away and don't look back.

Why did I give my heart away?
I thought this time it would be a different story to tell.
The type that ends with smiles instead of tears.
The one where everyone wins,
but this isn't that type of story.
Instead, one person lost all their heart and gained broken trust.
I gave my heart away, hoping for a different type of ending.

Stop it!!
I hear him.
Hear who?
The voice in my head telling me to go.
He said, trust me, follow me to the bath.
I go and only see my reflection
It's staring back at me with a grin.
I scream it's not time yet
He doesn’t care.
I scream louder to get away,
I see everyone staring at me but why?
Did no one else see this?
I found out it was in my mind.

Wake me from this dream,
I've been here too long.
Things are starting to seem too real.
I scream but no one hears a word,
Everyone tells me I'm awake.
Wake me up from this lost land I call home.
Please don't leave me here forever.
I'm not ready to stay.

My weakness is myself,
Afraid to disappoint the voice that begs for more.
The thoughts used to never end,
Only way to shut them up was to listen.
My weakness was myself,
I knew how to cause pain better than anyone.

I’m sorry you let me in
Now I’m a broken puzzle
All the pieces are broken.
Things won’t change,
Tape won’t cover the missing parts.
I thought you loved me.
I was just an object in your life.
I kept trying to make it work,
I just got a fire thrown at me.
If this love,
I don’t want to love anymore.

He fell out of love faster then he in fell in love with me/
I thought it was supposed to be the opposite, but I guess not.
My heart was still healing, but he moved on.
I watch this movie waiting for a better ending to find something.
I’m the sad lover waiting for a fairy tale that will ever come true.

Watching a movie, you hate on repeat all day/ night long.
listing to the same sad song even though you cry every time.
Want to run to get out of your thoughts but it ends up jogging right next to you.
Hearing people talk but thinking they hate you.
Watching people hang out with you only to believe it’s all a trick.

I didn't know happiness could be so sweet.
I'm afraid to let my wall down,
Knowing all this could be gone.
What if I wake up and this all a dream?
I can't go back,
The scares are still fading.
My heart is broken, slowly getting back together.
I was knocking on death's door,
I'm finally Afraid of leaving.

Why would someone want me.
I seen the way how the world works.
I’ve seen many people live in my life and Not come back.
I have seen the way that people look at me with pity and sorrow.
I want someone to love who isn’t scared to speak who isn’t afraid to be themselves.
I’m sorry if I’m a little needy I’m sorry if I see the worst in things.
So would you if you seen what I’ve seen.

The snow glitters in the sunlight
Wind pushes it side to side, making a mess.
The taste of hot cocoa on my lips while watching
A family movie. Listing to the soft sound of laughing with all the joy of a little kid.
Waiting for a snow day wishing, the lottery will happen. The feeling of late-night stories by the fire.
The one pill to cure anything bad.

The wind blowing as the hair is flowing in the moment.
Wearing coats too big but keeps us just as warm.
Time to fall in love while drinking cocoa.
The bad memories are starting to fade like a rainy day.
The good is staying put like your conversions.
At the end of the night, we all stare at the same snow falling from the tress.
I wished on a shooting star to keep this day with us forever.

I wish I could change the past.
I wish I never told you that I liked you.
Deep down, I hoped you felt the same way,
I thought that's why you always stayed up to text me.
I was stuck in my dream, not wanting to believe The truth.
I waisted so much of our friendship stuck in my bubble.
I wish I could change the past and get back what I miss so much.
Please, will you be my best friend again?

My voice may wonder with the darkness,
It may be gone for weeks but my heart will never leave.

If I just go, would you follow me?
If I go for a ride, would you join?
I want to believe you won’t leave me.
I think that you still care, but I think all a lie.
I want you to stay with me.
I want you to care if I was done.
I miss the old days, but you changed.
You don’t care about me as you used too.
I’m just awaiting piece ready for the next move.
Please just come back to me.
I still care.

Hi
Do you remember me?
No
Ok
Let me tell you a story
You were my first love,
You were my only reason for happiness.
One day you left out of the blue.
Before this, you told me I was everything.
The cherry to your Sunday.
I beloved you.
I wish I didn’t.
Bye now

It's ok not to be ok.
I was afraid of saying this for so long.
Depression doesn't live your body,
It just sticks with you for life.
It's ok to cry, let the tears be free.
Scream to let people know you aren't good.
Don't hide the broken from the world.
One day you will be fixed.
The first step is letting us know you need it.
Pain doesn't just go away.
I will be your guard from the bad.
First, I need to know what I'm fighting.

Young love, they say,
Remember the moments of their past as they look at us.
Telling us to be careful and to enjoy every second.
Young love,
Used as an insult to make sure we know our place.
That our love is nothing more than new compared to those around ours.
Young love, they say as I walk by.
I smile, knowing that this young love will turn old one day.