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452 · Mar 2020
the man in ocean
no Mar 2020
this is when I thought oh no
but what happened to me
I will clue you it happens on the sea
a long way away
in a far of land
just out side Whitstable
after I was a left early able

but  what happened I can her you asking
well I saw a ****** multitasking
but he was not just watching strictly and cooking
he was grabbing his binoculars and looking

but what was he staring at
he was staring and stroking something that looks like a rat
but as I floated closer
I saw it was not a rat oh sir

he was staring at the kids on the beach
when I saw it was not a rat I could not even speak
then I just started I swim
and I think still to this day I was the only one who noticed him
I still see him in my dreams
393 · Nov 2019
now is the time for glue
no Nov 2019
Running was tiresome with a long day ahead
Sniffing glue is the only thing in my head
The death of by brother was never good
He got burnt at least there was no blood

I lost my family and a whole lot more
Sniffing glue is the thing I do now I am poor
I used to live in gutu
now I live in a bridge and sniff glue

I lost my brother in Johannesburg
I remember when we ate a burger
Stop sniffing glue
Check out my new Subaru
I remember when I stopped sniffing glue
I started to play the kazoo
And now my book is overdue
I bad at rhythming yabbadabbadoo
And I will never stop sniffing glue
307 · Mar 2020
i'm a simp
no Mar 2020
I was known as the white knight
the king that could smite
a man that would defend all women
if an other man offended a women I would kick his head in
not  literally
I could never do it really

but now they have changed my name
it is really a shame
I am now known as a simp
I could have been a ****

of all the e-girls
they are the only thing that I care about in this world
from start of belle
till she fell

but only if they are attractive
and I will wait till there boyfriend is inactive
that's when we come
but we don't do it for fun
we do it for the women
and also jimin
I am a simp
192 · Feb 2020
I finger my cat
no Feb 2020
poetry is stupid
oh so dumb
I like to finger cats with my thumb
once i did it after  I played my drums

pleas do call me Shane
I just like to finger its plane
I was all consensual
I also did it with a pencil

but the court date is soon
I not  really over the moon
Caron  I'm pleading let  me see my son
I  only finger my cat with my thumb

I have not seen him in years
but  yet I am not in tears
because  I have  my cat
and I wish I could see my son Matt
I'm  sorry Caron but  it fet  so good
136 · Mar 2020
Karen took the kids
no Mar 2020
Karen took the kids
and all the jars with lids
she was upset
that I gave are cat ket
it was spaced as ****
it started to cluck

it was foaming from the mouth
it started to eat all the door nobs around the house
it was a strange little ******
I preferred the dog it was a little sucker

Karen called me a simp
even after I gave the cat a limp
she told me to leave
and so I heave
and I refused as I had 8 kids
but the she took them along wit the lids
130 · Mar 2020
I really hate Charlie
no Mar 2020
I really hate him
I truly do
I keeps on righting I don't know what to do
he is such a nerd
he is a bit like a cake with lemon curd
no one really likes him
he only needs one glass of pims
the he is out for the count
all of a sudden he his out and about

off to get some Chinese with the lads
when he realised that he forgot to get money from his dad
it was 50 quid
he thought they were having a laugh
until he was running how with out a scarf

when he arrived home he was livid
because all he came back with was his pockets empty and half a chicken
129 · Mar 2022
Karen he is just a dog
no Mar 2022
he's just a dog
I screamed from the roof
and you ran away all aloof
my son mat in hand
you flew away to road island
I flowed you to Thailand

you found a dog that talks
a mut with a voice
oh how I heard you rejoice
a dog with a name
followed by a child Brian was
I remembered when we played just cause

you had *** with a dog
and left me alone
not even a bone
untouched by sadness
a dog what madness
118 · Feb 2020
I shagged a bird
no Feb 2020
one day I was driving
along a long country road
when I spotted a  bird with a *****
is was  so long and thick
I strangely wanted just one lick

I just stared for a  long time
I looked like a bate on a fishing line
I pulled over in a hurry
and scraned down a whole McFlurry

I lay down in the grass net  in hand
slowly crawling across the land
I swung  my net as fast I can
It got  trapped under the net and I took it home to do a thorough scan

I skidded into my drive
with a gleaming look in my eyes
I sprinted up stars to my bed
it was so confused by the whole thing I did not haft to hit it with led

I pinned it down to examen
and waited to se what would happen
many hours later I was sufficed and I put the poor thing down with a led pipe
113 · Feb 2020
I need help
no Feb 2020
it is ever boring
ever overwhelming
it interrupts anything
it is like a little rat burrowing in to me
it is like a locked door with no key

it is all the thoughts
that get caught
like a net
no **** no ket

nothing to keep my sane
my sole is in a constant pain
waiting and waiting for something good
it feels like my feeling are cought under a bing dark hood

I need some help just one bit
people just judging my fit
or what I look like
not what I am
no Oct 2020
they say that we are all in this together
but are we really
well once we know
we can tell
they told us that we're stars
but do we see that

they say that we are all in this together
and it shows
whence we stand
and hold hand in hand
we can make are dreams come true
94 · Oct 2020
Juan
no Oct 2020
me and Juan friends to the end
the man was a myth a legend they say
the man was crazy he drew people round the bend
the man would make sure you did the debt you pay
he did this for an age until he was old
he did **** that man or that was what I was told
he did get sent to prison for life forever more
but he swore to get and **** me for he is a horse

yes I said that he was a pony
but he said did not **** that man and told me I was a killer
he said that I would always be lonely
he said that I killed my wife and the vicar
but I know was Juan but for now we can only bicker
Juan the ****** killed my wife and a vicar people just say he is a horse and he can't hold a knife but the police believed me
92 · Feb 2020
I hate poetry
no Feb 2020
i really hate poems
they don't make sense
they make as much sense as this rhyme
none

but I am not hear to complain
just to turn you all sane
some people think that poetry is all about pain
I just  tell those people to stay there own lane

poetry come with all it pros and cons
like I can say that I finger my cats ***
this comes with no payment
and that's what a poem is

— The End —