He stood still, as the rain began to fall,
Because he had no shelter to seek,
So he chose, to smile up into the squall.

When he was soaked, a puddle round his feet.
So he thought himself a sapling,
For whom water was a sweet relief.

Then the clouds cleared, the rain began to stop,
And oh how he shimmered in the sun,
Covered head to foot in raindrops.

I will forever be the "make it work" kid
Born to take what I am given
The "actually this is even better" girl
"Leave it better than it was" kind of living

I'll take a bad and find the good
Take the good and make it great
Infuse the great with some laughter
Forcing trials to blessings by sheer mental strength

Until I made a friend who was perfect
Who made the hard times breezy
And fair weather days even better
So strong she made life look easy

Until I met a boy who was kind
And thinks the world of imperfect me
Who was raised to be a gentleman
A safe space where I feel free

I guess some things just come wonderful
They don't need to be made better
Reminding that rainbows come from rain
And there's a true upside to every weather

I don't have enough light

To turn black to blue

But I'll take the light I find

And give it all to you

I'll be your beacon in the gloom

Love,

The Moon

I've read of disaster
I've imagined catastrophe
But nothing prepared
For the moment it happened to me

In fact, instead of more real
My world became surreal
But this time I couldn't turn the pages
Stuck in the realest of unreal cages

At dusk, my nightmares breathed
And my demons grinned in glee
But my body was frozen
Like maybe stillness could save me

But in this, my worst of dreams,
Honesty's the monster, reality my enemy
And the more they show their ugly faces
The more my happily ever after loses pages

Because the unthinkable to me
Was an option somewhere in his psyche
So in the ruins of my plans for the future
I choose to escape this saddest of stupors

When I was unsure
Fear held me so tight
It hurt to move in any direction
But at least I was held

When I was despairing
Sadness would tell me
All that was wrong with me and the world
But at least I was acknowledged

When I was alone
Pain reached out
and filled me with anguish
But at least I wasn't empty

So now I look for the lost
And be a friend they can walk with
So they don't wander so far away
That Death is the only one who can find them

I hurt him again
With the choices I made

I tell him to move on
To give up on me

I'll never be better
I think on my knees

He kneels down next to me
I wait for him to get angry

He reaches out
I pull away flinching

He keep going
Takes my hand gently

He pulls me up
While I look down at my feet

He pulls me in
"I know what you did"

I cry into His shoulder
"It's okay I forgive, like it never happened"

The weight on my soul falls
And again I am free to better than I was

Because God so loved the world
And imperfect little me

That He sent a perfect Son
To close the distance between Him and me

You never said I was too much
But you acted like I was

So I curled up to make myself smaller
I pretended I didn't know so I was dumber
I put a break between every action
And my reaction so I could protect myself
And suddenly I was a problem
And the solution was to break me
And really it's not that hard
To destroy something

But no one tells you that breaks make micro fractures
And life's regular wear makes you break even faster

That shrinking meant letting part of you die
So it's slower, it takes longer to again be that high

And by the time you learn that people loved you as you were
You're so far away from the past, you can no longer see her

But if you can get back to the beginning
Where you were incredible
Simply because you were living

All the growth and intelligence
Back to a personality effervescent
You'll be rooted all the more firmly in your present

Because now you'll know that ground lost
Is not progress irredeemable
But a fight that can be won again
And royalty is more that an environment regal

In a circumstance, where I did nothing bad
Somehow I am still the monster

You wreaked havoc with him, I held my peace
And no one knew your misdeeds

I bore alone my broken mind
All in the name of being kind

Until you decided the destruction was his
And you were the victim

So you told your tale to the masses
And gained all their sympathy

And I said nothing, I lost my chance to tell my side
What do you care, you have a ring and a guy

And me? I am still in silent pain
Because only a monster blames the victim

I'll never tell you this
But part of me is still that 11 year old
Who broke down crying to you.

The one who saw you sob
Like you never had before

The one who heard you say
That my words hurt you

That little girl is still here trying to figure out
How to bring up how she feels
Without hurting anyone else

If I cannot fly,
Does that make the sky
Any less that amazing for a bird

If I cannot breath underwater
Does that make the beautiful blue depths
Any less perfect for a fish

And life for them in my shoes
Trapped on the earth would be hard
Despite the sunsets and music

So no, you are not hard to love
Not for the right person, not even for most
I'm just sorry you found a fish out of water before me

Live, burn, and rise from the ashes
Never really dying
Because their end's
A magnificent beginning

Living in bright colors
Catching every eye
As they fly on by
Born for the spotlight

Famed for their flaming rose
How have I never seen the thorns?
Yes they live forever
They they must burn to be reborn

And after their fiery end
They wake again
To the jealousy of the masses
And the promise of future pain

I fought for the confidence
To say I like who I am

To believe that I am worth the war
And I am proud of this victory
Above any other

Loving someone isn't just giving your heart to them
Or sharing every shade of memory
It's giving away space in your mind
A place they will always occupy
And then reaching out to the space
And feeling it's pulse like a heart beat
Because their pain and joy and stress is yours
And while you can't always control the distance between you
Part of them can never leave you
That's why love doesn't understand distance

That's why with time zones between us
I can still hold you and still love you

Be careful where you choose
To spend your effort

Because the efforts of
A billion celestial beings
Still burn in our skies
Centuries after they have gone silent

And you, you are no less
Incredible to behold

Today I promise,
To take the weaknesses that tripped me
And walk with more purpose tomorrow

Today I promise,
To give away my sins to you
And let it nourish my gratitude

Today I promise,
To look up from my pain
And let it fuel my compassion for another

Today I promise,
To be better than I've ever been
For I know more now than ever before

He spoke and the world was
And the sun shone
And the grass grew
And man took breathe

And I am not mighty like He

When I speak
Neither the plants
Nor the sky
Nor life itself hears

But the God of them all does

And so I speak of him
Not in authority
Nor in eloquence
Nor perhaps in power

Only in complete and divine love

I know you heard me
But did you listen?

I know you felt sorry
But did you empathize?

Do you not see
Because you don't care enough to look?

I can make myself speak,
But I don't know how to be clear

When I am drowning
I don't have the energy to draw diagrams

I'm not the cursing kind
But if I was, this'd be the moment
To find out that you thought
You could be the author of this poet

You sat there and believed
That if you used my words and voice
And spoke as though you were me
You could dictate my choice

But now I am aware
I'm awake and angry
And a little betrayed
Even if I shouldn't be

Because of course
You'd tear me down inside
That's the job you gave yourself
After you ruined your own life

I let you tell me who I am
I didn't even put up a fight
But now you've really mess it up
Because now I see the light

It's time you stood to the side
I hope it hurts to watch me grow
More than you ever said I could
More than even I now know

Because the evil I've seen in me
So much of it was actually you
As you masterminded my meanest thoughts
Had me speak them as if they're true

So as I close my eyes and mouth to you
I'll make sure my ears join in
For I won't play your games anymore
And by walking away I win

I win a better world for me
One where I live bolder
And believe the best of me
Having cast the devil off my shoulder

I make all these realizations
And after all this time
I stand to look at the mirror
And the face I see is mine

Maybe God is letting you struggle with addiction
So you can show the world how God heals addiction

Maybe God is letting you struggle with depression
So you can show others that it isn't just people whose brains work right that believe

Maybe God tried to stop you from all the choices that got you here
And when you made your choices anyway then He got to show the world that He can bring anyone back from the brink

Maybe He is using your trials to prove that the gospel is for everyone,
can comfort anyone,
and to give you compassion for those who also struggle, just not always in the same way

Because He is the God of all people, of every step of the journey home, and of every second in this life and the next

Wait long enough
And you can see mental health

In sunny smiles
Or suspicious scars
In honesty or
Insomnia
In a growing circle
Or a new addiction

And unless it's reversed
It's grows and grows till you know
With certainty not suspicion