Have you ever been hurt so bad,
That the thought of it all,
Causes an emotional relapse?

And you live the nightmare over again,
Because the small thing in your life now,
Reminds you of diaster of then.

A 99% difference in everything,
But it's enough,
Just that one little thing.

So you tear up your growth,
You hide in the dirt,
From the possible futures good, bad, or both.

Because in your periphery you see,
What looks like the past catching up,
And you'd do anything to be free.

You'd cuts ties with the good and the new,
Ruining it all because,
Survival clouds your view.

And you would have ruined it all
Except you take back the reins
Far too strong to fall

You've made it too far
Become something different
And moved up the bar

A pheonix in creation
You'll always come back better
From relapse to rehabilitation

This moment is precious
To someone who no longer has many more

So hug your mom
Who spent her moments caring for you

Conquer that fear
That makes you feel trapped today

Call a friend
And memorize the sound of their laugh

Take a deep breath
And be grateful for this perfect second

Kiss your sweetheart
You'll never regret one more I love you

Because this moment is precious
To someone who longer has many more

I don't how you traveled the space
That exists between us now
You left no footsteps in your wake
Or maybe your stride was far too great

But we still talk you and I
At a time that others trade for dreams
I tell you of how my days go by
And you show me the stars in your sky

We find ways our nights to fill
You working and listening
While I sit and talk on my window sill
Fighting the exhaustion eating at my will

Because dawn breaks soon
And the day's needs are close
Goodbye until the sky's maroon
I'll miss you today my man in the moon

I wonder,

For those so talented and so seen

That they seem to stand above and apart

Do you wish the distance between

The world and stars, wasn't quite so far?

Here I am again
Hiding from the world again
Watching Joy smile in the distance
While Empty keeps me company

Far away Life laughs on
Would I be safe with her?
From Pain who follows me
Where Anger is a stranger

I've seen people abandon Sadness
And cross to the other side
Where Greener tends his grass
I watch start to end and still can't comprehend

Did Chance teach them how?
Was it Faith who boosted them over?
I'll bet it was Love who held off Fear
If I listen close, maybe one day, I'll hear Hope

Live, burn, and rise from the ashes
Never really dying
Because their end's
A magnificent beginning

Living in bright colors
Catching every eye
As they fly on by
Born for the spotlight

Famed for their flaming rose
How have I never seen the thorns?
Yes they live forever
They they must burn to be reborn

And after their fiery end
They wake again
To the jealousy of the masses
And the promise of future pain

In a circumstance, where I did nothing bad
Somehow I am still the monster

You wreaked havoc with him, I held my peace
And no one knew your misdeeds

I bore alone my broken mind
All in the name of being kind

Until you decided the destruction was his
And you were the victim

So you told your tale to the masses
And gained all their sympathy

And I said nothing, I lost my chance to tell my side
What do you care, you have a ring and a guy

And me? I am still in silent pain
Because only a monster blames the victim

Dear You of the spotlight
At the center of everyone's view

I hope that among the glamor and glitter
There is someone who sees what's true

That in your endless music they hear
The piece of you that you've disguised

That while every loves the perfect you,
They'll love the real you you hide inside

That when you trip along the way
They'll be there to catch you at those times

That as you wonder, "can I do it all?"
"You can and you're not alone", they'll chime

And finally,

That as everyone takes something from you They'll give their everything to you

From: The shadows
To: you of the spotlight
At the center of everyone's view

Would that I could see the world
Where the wind wields its power

I'd spin with the sprites in the leaves
And sway with the tricksters in the trees

Find friends in the fairies wrecking fences
And follow wisps that whistle from windows

Hitch a ride on a hippogriff in a hurricane
And be blown back home with a history nobody will believe

I was lost in the worry
That should be here but it's not
Trying to believe and be happy
But waiting for the other shoe to drop

I was ready with an umbrella
A wind breaker and sunscreen
Sunshine daily but you don't call me silly
You just ask if you can carry anything

I'm learning to trust the ground we walk on
Because maybe not all ice is thin
Winter days don't have to be bitter
And nights can just be for stars and wishin'

And new days are new adventures
Not a game of dice or roulette
And walks are for long talks
Not for escaping and secrets

Because my definition of love wasn't wrong
Just the connotations
And you wrote over them in red ink
Giving me back a better edition

And while my eyes still drop
When that song comes on
And I have to disappear to deal
With memories I'd thought were gone

You wait and you're patient
As I heal from all the heartache
Still I'm sorry you have to be careful
Because of the mess someone else made

But I'm learning from you that love can be good
It doesn't always break, not always made of glass
Sometimes it's made of rubber
It may fall but it's durable, forever bouncing back

Tomorrow, for me, was scary
The root of all my worry

'til you traded your tomorrows
For the high price of "it's all over"

So now I spend every one of mine
Loving those who think of trading time

Trying to give them moments you missed
Hoping somehow I can make a difference

I don't have enough light

To turn black to blue

But I'll take the light I find

And give it all to you

I'll be your beacon in the gloom

Love,

The Moon

He spoke and the world was
And the sun shone
And the grass grew
And man took breathe

And I am not mighty like He

When I speak
Neither the plants
Nor the sky
Nor life itself hears

But the God of them all does

And so I speak of him
Not in authority
Nor in eloquence
Nor perhaps in power

Only in complete and divine love

Everyone fears pain and death
And after it's over, what will be left
But don't forget tragedy
Can bring us some clarity
About what really matters
When the whole world shatters
Because nobody could care about
The color of your skin if they believe
They will never see you again
We can't argue about sexuality
When we are worried about mortality
We can't put work before family
In the midst of this anomaly
There's no fight, democratic vs republic
When hospital beds are the home of the public
How could we ever fight a war with guns
When a virus is killing us all, old and young
When the war is inside our very lungs
I think we can afford to bite our tongues
Because to strip away contention
Is to leave only compassion
How much good could we do as a whole
If only we thought with the heart and soul
We're born to do good and live to be better
So when we die, we rise with a soul unfettered

I think I would have fallen for you
Even if I were blind

Because your laugh
Makes me grin like a fool

Because even in blackness
Your character would still be visible

I think I would have fallen for you
Even if I were deaf

Because nothing quite steals my breath
Like the way you smile

And nothing quite melts my heart like
Watching you care without a speck of guile

I think I would have fallen for you
Even if you were mute

Because we still would have talked the night away without a single phrase

And been bound together by the adventures
That came along the way

So I don't think there was a way that I wouldn't have ended up right here

Watching you tell me another story
And falling without a moment of fear

I broke your heart
So you tore out mine
That's fair, I guess
Even if I'm not fine

That's all she wrote
This is the end
Or wait not really
But it should have been

You were the worst part
Of my life, It was over
We ruin and walk away
I'm not longer your lover

But you can't let go
You chase me down
Just stop trying to add pages
To a book already bound

You ruined my life
And I ruins yours
So move on please
Let me shut these doors

Let's wipe the slate clean
Walk away from your danger
So one day we can past by
Each other as perfect strangers

Icy fire covers the ground
As the light fades away
The wind holds it's breath
On top of a high cliff place

The horizon, a smear
Of red, orange, and yellow
Black shades divide the sky
Night trees and a dark fellow

Crunching breaks the silence
The sound follow the shape
A small, round stone
Shadow kneels next to grave

The heavenly fire burns down
Leaves the broken man
And his forget me nots
Clenched tight in banded hand

Loving someone isn't just giving your heart to them
Or sharing every shade of memory
It's giving away space in your mind
A place they will always occupy
And then reaching out to the space
And feeling it's pulse like a heart beat
Because their pain and joy and stress is yours
And while you can't always control the distance between you
Part of them can never leave you
That's why love doesn't understand distance

That's why with time zones between us
I can still hold you and still love you

I've read of disaster
I've imagined catastrophe
But nothing prepared
For the moment it happened to me

In fact, instead of more real
My world became surreal
But this time I couldn't turn the pages
Stuck in the realest of unreal cages

At dusk, my nightmares breathed
And my demons grinned in glee
But my body was frozen
Like maybe stillness could save me

But in this, my worst of dreams,
Honesty's the monster, reality my enemy
And the more they show their ugly faces
The more my happily ever after loses pages

Because the unthinkable to me
Was an option somewhere in his psyche
So in the ruins of my plans for the future
I choose to escape this saddest of stupors

There's a storm in my head
A torrential downpour of pain
With flashes of rage
And thunders of despair

The streets are flooding
And the night is getting dark
And I can't turn the tide
I can't stop the heartache

I feel every emotion but joy
I know hundreds of thousands
Of words that mean pain
So why do they all feel hollow

My hand hovers useless
Above the empty page
Waiting for the storm drains to clear
So the words can flow free

But until then I drown

I'm not the cursing kind
But if I was, this'd be the moment
To find out that you thought
You could be the author of this poet

You sat there and believed
That if you used my words and voice
And spoke as though you were me
You could dictate my choice

But now I am aware
I'm awake and angry
And a little betrayed
Even if I shouldn't be

Because of course
You'd tear me down inside
That's the job you gave yourself
After you ruined your own life

I let you tell me who I am
I didn't even put up a fight
But now you've really mess it up
Because now I see the light

It's time you stood to the side
I hope it hurts to watch me grow
More than you ever said I could
More than even I now know

Because the evil I've seen in me
So much of it was actually you
As you masterminded my meanest thoughts
Had me speak them as if they're true

So as I close my eyes and mouth to you
I'll make sure my ears join in
For I won't play your games anymore
And by walking away I win

I win a better world for me
One where I live bolder
And believe the best of me
Having cast the devil off my shoulder

I make all these realizations
And after all this time
I stand to look at the mirror
And the face I see is mine

I know that I did this
That I chose to leave

But while it only took an hour
To pack up all my things

It will take longer to fill in
The places, where you used to be

To remember it's not worth it
Even if now my heart's a little empty

Choose your words wisely

To capture a heart wholly

For they wander easily

Unless love anchors them firmly

How can I not love
the God who gave me wings?

And then

How can I not change
when all He asks is this one thing?

I will forever be the "make it work" kid
Born to take what I am given
The "actually this is even better" girl
"Leave it better than it was" kind of living

I'll take a bad and find the good
Take the good and make it great
Infuse the great with some laughter
Forcing trials to blessings by sheer mental strength

Until I made a friend who was perfect
Who made the hard times breezy
And fair weather days even better
So strong she made life look easy

Until I met a boy who was kind
And thinks the world of imperfect me
Who was raised to be a gentleman
A safe space where I feel free

I guess some things just come wonderful
They don't need to be made better
Reminding that rainbows come from rain
And there's a true upside to every weather

Maybe God is letting you struggle with addiction
So you can show the world how God heals addiction

Maybe God is letting you struggle with depression
So you can show others that it isn't just people whose brains work right that believe

Maybe God tried to stop you from all the choices that got you here
And when you made your choices anyway then He got to show the world that He can bring anyone back from the brink

Maybe He is using your trials to prove that the gospel is for everyone,
can comfort anyone,
and to give you compassion for those who also struggle, just not always in the same way

Because He is the God of all people, of every step of the journey home, and of every second in this life and the next

The walls are made of plaster
And the bench is made of stone
The music made of nothing
And red cars are made of metal

But no they are all made of sponge

The walls hold your words
Ones that bounces off on their way to me
The bench holds your shape
Huddled broken against the cold

The music traps your voice
I feel it break my heart with every note
Red cars send me running
Thinking you must surely be inside

Your shadow selves must be paint
Spattered on every place you touched
Because how else can everything
Remind me of you so horribly

How can I hear that song
Or lean against those walls
Without coming away soaked
Covered in memories of you

I know you heard me
But did you listen?

I know you felt sorry
But did you empathize?

Do you not see
Because you don't care enough to look?

I can make myself speak,
But I don't know how to be clear

When I am drowning
I don't have the energy to draw diagrams

He stood still, as the rain began to fall,
Because he had no shelter to seek,
So he chose, to smile up into the squall.

When he was soaked, a puddle round his feet.
So he thought himself a sapling,
For whom water was a sweet relief.

Then the clouds cleared, the rain began to stop,
And oh how he shimmered in the sun,
Covered head to foot in raindrops.