I used to be thin
out of choice
to shed my weight
to be a boy.
To shed the weight
that made me a girl
the only way I knew
to live in my world.
Now, I know I am short
I'm alright with that
and since I've been eating
I wouldn't call myself fat.
I'd call myself proudly
what I want to be
short, little chunky, girl
"weighting" to be me.

I let you in
to pin my hair
and pick out a party dress.
I let you know my
deepest
darkest
secrets.
You said I was safe
in our shared space.
If, however, I'd have known
for one second
for one inkling
of that one second
the thoughts
that were your thoughts
I never would have let you
come near me anymore.

Love...
Something to torture you
Bringing you to your knees
The pain is addicting

you press me firmly against the wall
you are angry
your face says
you squeeze tightly my arms
my father used to hold me this way
about the throat
it caused fear
and rage
why now does it cause
unbearable desire

I’m trapped in the sky again
floating, untethered
my lungs are hot air balloons
my chest is bursting
grab the trailing rope, quick
before I get away