Am I just a toy?
To be used when your feelings are young and indefinite which u claim them not to
Am I just a toy?
To be tossed and thrown and bossed around all day
Am I just a toy?

You never dated her but you made her feel special telling her how much u loved her and proving how much you care.
   You never dated her but you hurt her, you texted her from the moment your eyes popped open till you shut them.
   You never dated her but whenever you saw her you never ceased to tell her how pretty she looked and when you spent a while without her you told her how much you missed her.
   You never dated her but you told her your darkest,deepest secrets,made her feel wanted, spending a lot of your time with her.
    You never dated her but you made her feel  one day you would that it was only a matter of time.
     You never dated her but you hurt her and should take responsibility for it
     It doesn't matter if you weren't her boyfriend officially but you led her on, you burnt her
     And when she asks why you suddenly turned cold, you no longer want her, you shouldn't put her off because she deserves to know. You knew all along u were never going to be with her yet you made her know she's unique.
    No, you didn't date her, you became emotionally attached to each other. You created a serious connection that's why she deserves an explanation, she deserves closure. Why did u leave her like she was never a thing to you, you need to tell her.
    Because if you don't She'll start questioning and remembering all your conversations, body languages.

I knew I would need help soon,
I sent a letter to you at noon
Telling you to bring my heart too
But you delated and thought me a fool

Desperately, I needed to end this
Kept staring at the things that would get me over the bar
Though you needed me or so I thought

I slept to pass time rill you get to me
I supposed you were too busy for me
Though I wandered, why this day?

Just when I set out to execute my plan
You had the urge to get to me
Still pondering, either or neither
Already was I building my stage

I did it just when you came
When I saw you I wanted to let go
But it was too late
I tied it a little too tight

As you reached out to get to me,
I tried telling you, I still and would always love you
But just as I tried, harder it became
And I watched you struggle endlessly

At the last moment
You untied the rope
And as you did, a tear fell down my cheeks
I was too gone to finish shedding those tears

Now I'm here with no one to behold
Not even a pen or paper to behold
I would do what I love the most
Of course, besides you my dear beloved

I could keep on writing about our last minute
Without me getting out of words
And each piece not the same
I had a lot to say that day
But only if you came a minute earlier

If you had come a minute early
I could have told you how much I needed to go
You would of course have begged me to stay
Though you made me feel worthless in dismay

If you came a minute earlier,
I would have had a minute to look at you and perhaps change my mind
But you chose to delay, now you wish I'd stay

You ignored me just when I needed you most
and now I'm so gone, never coming back
I might have gone the same minute I left
If you came hours earlier

But maybe God would have had a change of mind and let me be
You delayed, denied me access to my heart
Just once more
Now I'd be needing it no more

So keep it will you? Safely I plead
We're apart but keep it, just do
Pending the time you'd get a new love
And when you do, bury it right there in your heart

I know you might not feel the way I do
Maybe a little bit more or mostly less
Probably nothing at all
But keep this piece safe

It was written with my blood
And that's why it'll never get dry

I do not mean to impose blames
If only you dropped your ego
And let go
I'd Still be here

I have to deal each second  the pain of watching our love fail me
And since there's no passing of time here,
Each day's the exact same day

I'd stay here longer and re-feel the pain
Over and over again

You ignored,
Delayed and denied me access to my heart
But if you weren't a minute late
I would still be there loving you

Now I stay here shedding endlessly the tears I couldn't finish
Though I wish to shed them in your arms

Its past midnight here
Don't know what it is there
All I know is that you're probably up
With a cup of coffee on your desk
While you flip through the same pages I passed through, with you reading arithmetics just like a novel while I gnash while solving mine

Guess who I thought of today
During our unprecedented girls night out
.........You
Its been long I did though
Times I'm on my Instagram and some emotional post defines you broadly
I smile, wishing we still talk

Wishing we still spend time on our late night video calls,, voice calls,,,chatting,,,, smiling,,,, caring,,,,,probably loving too
Or was it just me making love up

I could have swore you loved me
Now you've left me, not so sure
You were dug up tonight
A short love story I'd never want to happen
No,
Not anymore
Twas too hurtful

Lasted barely weeks
Yet love felt forever
Oh well, we could have been a thing,
But then you said
"I love you a little bit more than I should"
Uhnn
I smiled,
You know,
The sad smile that pops up when you are certain that this can't work
No matter how hard you try
Or pray
Or cry
It just WON'T
Yeah, I had it on and all I could say?
I can't remember

You probably go months without having the slightest thought of me
I maybe go weeks without thinking of you,
And when I do?
My ***** start raining,
Cloudy
So stay safe TREASURED,
By now you should be chatting with some girl
Spilling the same, sweet words you (once) told me,
Leaving your coffee cold

I miss those days,
the ones I'd just stare at you because we weren't talking with nothing being the cause.      So here I am far from you (chuckle),ok, not so far its just an hour drive from where you lay but what can my infant self do. I can't travel alone, na and neither can you get yourself over here,