I remember the happiness of being a child
I remember the blissfulness of climbing trees
I remember smiling wide for pictures with new friends
I remember pleading with my mom to stay outside longer
I remember coming to the age of double digits
I remember the phases my mom said wouldn’t last
I remember laughing about the phases later
I remember finally forming friendships with my brothers
I remember saying “I’ve been alive for a whole decade!”
I remember reaching the teenage years
I remember the gradual downfall
I remember asking for the room to be quieter
I remember staying home more frequently
I remember sleeping less
I remember the distinct hospital smell
I remember the confusion on my doctor’s face
I remember the yellow prescription bottles
I remember the disappointment on my parent’s faces
I remember clutching my head
I remember begging for relief
I remember the boiling in my chest
I remember yelling at the sky
I remember asking, “Why me?”
I remember the hopelessness
I remember desperation
I remember nearly giving up
I remember the acceptance of chronic pain
Now, I’m left with memories
Of the happiness of being a child



-j.h