She’s acting aloof
Not revealing her best
She’s got a good hand
Her cards are pressed to her chest
She’s got her eyes on you
With a winning poker face
You won’t know what hit ya
When she reveals that ace

Please don’t leave me destitute
Standing here without you
Please don’t walk away
Forgive my aching plea,
I hate the smell of desperation on my skin
I despise the long fall from standing straight
To the depths of sinking to my knees before you
Heed the cry of my soul to yours
Have mercy on this yearning heart
Don’t cast me away from you

She was your fragile porcelain doll
You broke her
Panicking
You tried to glue her back together
But she was already shattered

I want to run away to Italy
Live with you by the sea
We could spend all our days
Twisting up spaghetti Bolognese
Pack our bags don’t tell a soul
Leave our problems and some notes
“Sorry, but we had to go”
Turn into a couple ghosts
I want to snuggle up on the warm sandy beach
I’ll feed you grapes and kiss your cheeks
Get tangled in steamy sheets
I want to run away to Italy
Live with you by the sea
Live a long life with you, happily

The secret to doing anything well?
Pour yourself into it.
Turn all your energy, time and effort.
Pick anything and proceed to expel all of yourself in the pursuit of that endeavor.
You will exceed what you thought you were even capable of.
Pouring your heart into it, that is how you yield great works.

The deep hum of the days before spring
An orchestra tuning before their instruments sing
I could float forever in the in-between
Flower buds and birds are resonating
So loud it reaches the earths ceiling

Wicked heart
Clad in white
Like lucifer comes disguised
As an angel of light

His magnetism was like the sun
So many adored him, many surrounded him
I find myself a mystified little planet
Involuntarily drawn to him
A dancer in the chorus line promenading around him
But though I am just another pulled in by his gravity
I’m so happy to bask in his warm light,
Yes I’m so happy to just be near him
I love him.

I’ll admit, I am hesitant to apologize
Because
A part of me meant every word of what I said

I am always curious how each person I encounter reads me
Perhaps I am a haunting mystery
Or a heart wrenching tragedy
Or a twisted comedy
Either way I hope they enjoy me
With a good cup of coffee
And a lingering “hmm.”

Slowly he steps towards her
Eyes locked across a crowded room
Lingering stares as he walks away from her
Knowing in his heart he wants to stay close by to her
It is a slow tethering of souls
A simmer under the surface
A fire in their eyes for each other
They’d be risking it all for one another
They’d be choosing a whole new life by agreeing to love each other
He hides his wedding band
She smiles from a distance
He asks her friends about her
But never approaches her directly
He’s gauging the possibility before he dives in
She’s daydreaming about him
He’s texting mutual friends “what does she like?”
He savors her name on his lips
Tasting what it would be like to whisper it in her ears
She imagines being folded into his arms
Completely safe in his strength
Their thoughts are intertwined with each other
Their hearts are pulled to the other
They know it’s a dangerous thing they’re playing with
Yet they each pursue it
With gentle eyes and cautious steps towards each other
They can sense it
They are almost ready to dance

She was chaos
A butterfly breaking from her chrysalis
Ripping, shredding through the parchment that encased her
The light kissing her wings in their desperate flutters for freedom
She was chaos, because she was alive

I just want you to know
I never viewed this thing we have
Through rose colored glasses.
I never looked at us through the doe eyed,
Pink lens of a love struck girl.
I see you as your desperate, real, messy self.
I see every crack and missing piece you have
And I burn for you anyway.

I
Me
My
Mine
Myself
Me

Crimson
Cinnamon
Autumn leaves
In her hair
Angry
Fury
****
It’s all mixed in there

It was his mistake,
He tried to embrace a girl
With fire woven into her hair.
Of course he got burned.

The harder the fall
The grander the rise

Tell me that out there,
In the jungle of skyscrapers,
Mangled mazes of streets
And billboard lights flashing
Blinding you with hypnotic twinkling
You’ll remember me
Tell me that while you’re on top of the world
And your pockets are filled with gold
Promenading in an expensive winter coat
And dropping coins that clang in a beggars cup
You’ll think of me
The one who loved you from the beginning

Hear again, the refrains of Spring
A whisper, the quiet promise of rebirth
This symphony of resurrection
Brings a similar renaissance within me
I too, am made new

I know I can’t have you

I know we can’t do this

But playing reruns of our “might be’s”

Is simultaneously the most euphoric past time

As well as the most self-mutilating

In retrospect, I thank God
I didn’t get everything I ever wanted

I drank in the words
Dancing off the page
Pouring into my heart
My mind opened
Like a flower turning towards the Sun
And the words flowed into me

They say,
He sits on a throne in the heavens,

A rainbow surrounds His throne.

A sea like glass,
Proceeds before His throne.
From the throne comes,
Thunder, lightening and a rushing voice like many waters.
Around Him sit 24 elders,
With crowns like gold on their heads.
Four living creatures, with eyes on both sides of their head,
Serve Him in His throne room.
And whenever they give thanks to Him,
The elders cast their crowns of gold at His feet.
Proclaiming He is worthy of all glory, honor and power.
He who was and is and is to come.

All talk
Just a yapper
Fake friend
Back stabber
So it’s long term
Long game
Big picture
Such a shame
Icy vengeance
Shall unfold
Revenge, I hear
Is best served cold

Heir of rejuvenation
Birthed through demise
Clothe yourself in jubilation
For you shall rise

In a room full of men
Of brawny size
Winning smiles
And confident eyes

If they all had wit
And clever charm
Were gentlemen
Who’d offer a girl their arm

And if they were all
Impeccably dressed
Suits and ties
Their formal best

Intelligent
With a high IQ
In a room full of men like that
I’d still look for you

I come from fabrics pinned to clothes lines, flapping like white flags, surrendering to the warm evening breeze.
I come from piping hot cups of Earl grey tea, served with milk and sugar.
I come from gentle springs, harsh winters, jovial summers and delicious autumns.
Humble roots, but they are deep

Her feet pound
The crunchy gravel kicked underfoot
Dust rises where she trods
Her heart trying to catch up to her pace
Sharp breathes cut her lungs
And her chest starts to burn
Step, step, step
Trotting
Running her own race
Trying to impress an audience of one
It hurts so much
Yet feels so good
She will be better than she was yesterday
She will be stronger than she was yesterday
She will not just “get it done”...
She wants to be a champion
She will rise to the occasion
And be her own hero

Every time I am inexplicably drawn in
To your looming aura
Your gregarious presence
I feel flowers growing in my chest
My heart is a butterfly
Writhing in its chrysalis
Inspired to break free
You have this strange power over me
I feel it so tangibly I’m worried
Can others smell the attraction emitting off me
I’m worried of how palpable it is
How evident and fragrant it is
But I look around and see
It’s only you and I
Starring at each other, longing for the other
It’s only you and I who know what’s happening
We are in our own secret little garden
Harboring our own maddening, sweetening, secret love

The years layered upon him
And compacted into dense sediment
The bygone years of all the people he has been
He showing only his smooth, stone exterior
Deceiving the girl he wanted
Never disclosing the years beneath
He wanted to just swallow her up in another layer of himself

I could leave that part of my life concealed.
A shameful chapter of chaos, unspoken.
A secret to be kept in my heart,
Guarded by four roaring lions
And six stinging scorpions.
A Pandora’s box watched day and night,
Behind lock and key.
Not to be spoken about.
But I won’t.
For though it creates a peculiar pattern
In the tapestry of my life
I cannot deny it’s brilliance
I cannot deny it’s lessons
Through the pain came polish
From the beast came beauty

This pain crushes me
With density like a black hole
I’m ****** into bottomless space
Gravity crushes the light out of my soul
I slip into shadow
The blackness which absorbs the light
I am the deep reaching out
The all consuming night
The thunder, the forewarning
the fire burning in the soul
The magma beneath the earth
Sorrow turned to fury. Agony to inferno

Forever I’ll be
Your dark romantic doubt
The one who lingers in your mind
When all the lights go out
I’ll appear in shadows
When you thought I was gone
You’ll replay every inch of me
Even if it’s wrong
You’ve moved on
Of course that’s not a sin
But I’ll haunt the deep of your soul
As you realize, you’ll never find love like mine again

He walks back in forth in my heart like a specter
Quietly haunting neglected halls of affection
I see him in a mirror and he is gone
I see him in shadows then he disappears
He’s haunting me

Some people like to think of themselves as the black sheep...
I’ve always considered myself more of the glittery sheep of the flock

Be careful when approached with an opportunity for leadership
No one tells you how heavy a shepherds staff truly is

The sun came up
And it was looking at you

Kiss me and paint my curves with your hands
The way a musician would caress his guitars strings with intention and passion
Play me, my love.
Whisper every desire into my ear

Make me sing

I have woven into me, an inherent sadness. One that drills my mind and weakens my bones..
I have a notion, I’ll end up the family tragedy
You know the one.
The one that everyone says
“but she was always smiling.”

He may be a snake,
But I’m a snake charmer

He may be a rat,
Call me the pied piper

April showers
Water the earths fertile womb
Spring grows inside her belly
Soon summer will emerge