I soberly behold the march of time
And observe its inevitable nature
I see the wrinkles deepening in my mothers eyes
And hear my fathers voice become weaker
I see the sterling hairs shine silvery in my red tresses
I see the fatigue in my husbands muscles from years of hard work
And it makes me sad, at first, for the imposing truth of mortality is evident
But it also fills my heart with profound joy
To have life at all and love so fierce
To hold the hands of my mother and father while they’re still warm
And enjoy the lingering days of my youth while I have it
To fully feel the embrace of my husband and his remaining strength
I swear to burn with life as long as I have it
And to love beyond reasonable comprehension while I still can
My life will not end with a flicker
It will end with a magnificent blaze of heat and unbridled love

I used to be scared of my darkness
Until I realized
The hollow, dark pit
Is the place that the fire can live
That burning inspiration
Always thrives in the deep caverns of my heart

Some people think they can control the world
If they understand it
Living in fear, they plunge into depths of philosophical thinking
Trying to understand human nature
And they usually end up as insufferable arrogant know it alls
Yet some people live in surrender to the mysterious
Without the need for control
They let themselves wonder
The mystics, the esoteric, the poetic
I love those people

She’s got a face like a renaissance painting
The voice of an angel
And the demeanor of royalty
And she will haunt your every step
For the rest of your life

There are times I feel
I am more phoenix than woman
More a symbol than human
My otherworldliness escaping from my pours
Ash and fire blazing in my eyes

Honest people
Never win popularity contests

Hints of Eve exist in me
Whispers slither in my ear
And I am enticed again
By a deceiver

I never loved you
I worshiped the monument
I built of you in my heart
But it wasn’t you
A statue of a man isn’t the man himself
But a chunk of rock, steeped in myth and fantasy
And now I’m tearing the idol down

Never let the cares of this life confine you to an existence of stagnation and inactivity
Never allow fear to **** the wonder in you
Always leave room
For adventure in your heart

I yearned for a garden
So I purchased a field
Planted seeds with hope
And anticipated the yield
My garden grew
Rich and green
An opulent crop
Surpassing what I dreamed
My garden was so fruitful
I had so much to spare
So I gave and I gave and I gave
I gave until nothing was there
I gave so much, I had to borrow
From another’s crop
So I could maintain the giving
And filling up others cups

But the harvest dried
All I had was gone
And those I’d given to
Had all withdrawn
Winter arrived
I considered the sum
I had thrown feasts
And received only crumbs
I had moved mountains
Spending more than I had to spend
I did this for love
I did this for love of my friends
But in giving I forgot the Giver
He who gave first to me
He Who laid down His life for His friends
The Shepherd who sacrificed Himself for the sheep
He who gave the field
He who made it grow
He who brought the rain
And multiplied what I’d sown
I did it wrong, pouring out to these who consume, but don’t stay
Now only for Him, the Giver of givers
He has given me more than I could ever repay

I would’ve cut open my chest if he needed a heart
Wrote sonnets with my tears
Harnessed the thunder just to impress him
Bathed in starlight to entice him
Tread through shadows to get to him
Died to prove to him
I love him
But I realized I was burying myself alive
For a boy, who wouldn’t even visit my grave

Sometimes the expectation of the storm
Is worse than the actual storm

Some will never be content to listen to the music Written by another’s hand
Conceived from another’s mind
Some have an impulse akin to insanity
The urge to create
To produce something organic, original
And through madness and sorrow and ecstasy
must write their own music

How often genius is overlooked
Even mocked
Scoffed at
Ignored
Until it produces something extraordinary
Groundbreaking
World changing
Then everyone claims they knew all along
Claimed they were always in with the person who was mocked
The person who is a cold, quiet mountain externally
But bursting inside with brilliance

This pain crushes me
With density like a black hole
I’m ****** into bottomless space
Gravity crushes the light out of my soul
I slip into shadow
The blackness which absorbs the light
I am the deep reaching out
The all consuming night
The thunder, the forewarning
the fire burning in the soul
The magma beneath the earth
Sorrow turned to fury. Agony to inferno

Drunk on revenge
A wine colored blackish red
I stained my lips and drank deep
And made sure you stayed dead

In a world of perpetual victims
Dare to be a champion

Beautifully obsessed
Dancing on the fine line
Between visionary and delusional
Insanity and ingenious

Stand out
And you’re a target
Easy to spot
Easy to bring down
Blend in
Become unnoticeable
Invisibility is a superpower
When used correctly

I hope you feel my thoughts about you,
Crash over you like waves.
I hope you can feel my love,
Even from far away.

In great rooms of heaven
In hallowed halls where Glory resides
In rays of light which beam from His face
From a throne that rules the universe
From lips which uttered stars
And hands that authored mankind
From an imagination that conceived the depth and breadth of the oceans
Which birthed every animal and tree
From Him, came me
And even more joyously unfathomable, I was always part of His plan

Spring this year, has come gently.
It came on the heels of a historical amount of snow for where I live.
It came on the wings of butterfly’s, drinking nectar from flowers.
It came in heavy rains, drenching the earth with much needed water.
It came in warm sunshine.
It came like a silent symphony of photosynthesis and pollination.

I come from fabrics pinned to clothes lines, flapping like white flags, surrendering to the warm evening breeze.
I come from piping hot cups of Earl grey tea, served with milk and sugar.
I come from gentle springs, harsh winters, jovial summers and delicious autumns.
Humble roots, but they are deep

If only destiny came neatly packed
Gift wrapped
And topped with a bow.
But no, destiny is found in
Failed attempts
Unrequited love
And a kind of soldier like endurance
Destiny is baptism by fire

I am the last whisper of a dream
That lingers as dawn starts to beam
Delicate, but more than what I seem
An oyster which reveals its pearly gleam

Not a day goes by
That my heart doesn’t whisper your name
You are woven into the fabric of me
You’re a strand in my DNA

Please don’t leave me destitute
Standing here without you
Please don’t walk away
Forgive my aching plea,
I hate the smell of desperation on my skin
I despise the long fall from standing straight
To the depths of sinking to my knees before you
Heed the cry of my soul to yours
Have mercy on this yearning heart
Don’t cast me away from you

The deep hum of the days before spring
An orchestra tuning before their instruments sing
I could float forever in the in-between
Flower buds and birds are resonating
So loud it reaches the earths ceiling

Hear again, the refrains of Spring
A whisper, the quiet promise of rebirth
This symphony of resurrection
Brings a similar renaissance within me
I too, am made new

An ocean of fire
Baptize me
In your desire

Some transformations are slow and beautiful
Like a butterfly
Breaking through its chrysalis
But some transformations are gritty and fiery
Like a phoenix
Emerging from its own ashes

My soul writhes within me
As if trying to escape my flesh
My mind heaves
And creativity fills the womb of my imagination
Bursting from darkness like the dawn
I dance in colors
Drink in stars
My heart is a waterfall of joy
Like heaven on earth

Tell me that out there,
In the jungle of skyscrapers,
Mangled mazes of streets
And billboard lights flashing
Blinding you with hypnotic twinkling
You’ll remember me
Tell me that while you’re on top of the world
And your pockets are filled with gold
Promenading in an expensive winter coat
And dropping coins that clang in a beggars cup
You’ll think of me
The one who loved you from the beginning

One by one petals fell.
I consulted a daisy,
To see if you truly loved me.
I went to pick off the last one,
But it didn’t come off completely.
Half a petal lingered.
It foretold your half hearted approach.
I should’ve listened to that daisy.

Sorrow is the best medicine
For a selfish heart
And pain, a remedy for pride
So let me be broken then

He told me he’d take care of me.
The only person he couldn’t protect me from
Was himself

I am an inhospitable, icy expanse.
A vacuum, incomprehensibly vast.
Like the universe, stretching my infinite arms,
Embracing an incalculable oblivion.
You’re an astronomer. Wildly obsessed
Drawn to my darkness and immeasurable breadths.
Chasing twinkles of starlight, there in my eyes.
Studying bits of brilliance, in my dark skies.

The gentle passage of time continues.
Rhythmic seconds that dance by, unnoticed for the most part.
With a consistent and familiar beat.
Tick.. Tock..Tick.. Tock..
I wait for that gentle passage of time
To slowly erode you from my heart
To chip away and wear down
The lingering memory of you.
But I’ve found here, in my time,
A peculiar truth.
True love, cannot be dampened by time.
A flame, that once it’s lit, can only be reduced
To a simmer, but never truly quenched.
And whenever I see you, talk to you, smell your coat.
I find the love I have conceived for you, has only deepened with time.
My respect for you has only doubled.
That is how I know I love you more than I have ever loved any other.
Compared to what I feel for you. All other “loves” where merely a dress rehearsal for the real thing.
And in my full confidence and assurance can say,
I’ve never loved another, in my time.

Change.
The tide, turn and test of time
The twists and turns we encounter.
Sometimes change comes silently, slowly and unannounced.
As in corrosion, decay, the quiet shift from one generation to the next.
Sometimes change comes harshly, abrasively and all at once.
And we must adapt quickly or die quickly.
Whether it culminates slowly or crashes all at once.
We must never fear it, but expect it.
And accept it is apart of being alive.

The leaves burst into crimsons and yellows
A grand crescendo
Before the winter

The seasons change
And so do we
Parts of us fall off
Like the autumn leaves
Rather than saying “I hate the rain”
Or “I don’t prefer the sun.”
Find joy in them all
Rejoice in every single one

Slices of light pierce through the sky
The stars who’ve inspired poets time after time
They speak of unsurpassed beauty
They find hope in their light
But the muses oft forget
The depths of the night
How rarely, if ever, mentioned
The abyss so very far
How rarely, if ever, whispered of
The darkness between stars

Your persuasion is mysterious
Your power is an anomaly
I can’t find the reason you compel me so
You just burn for things
And it makes me want to burn like you do

I dream of the ancient heart of east Asia.
The nobel mountains of China looming overhead.
Their imperial peaks shrouded in heavy mist. Luscious earth and dense forests, the color of jade, surrounding me.
Fresh winds, exhaling through the mountain pass, dancing in my hair.
The smell of bamboo, dew and tender greens slips through the air.
An epiphany of Eden. A discovery of the divine. A flash of felicity. A revelation of paradise

I’m scared of my mind
Scared of spiraling depravity
The way I ache isn’t normal
Scared of dark capability
The monster most terrifying
Is the monster that’s me