I shouldn’t have played the game
I didn’t think I’d fall in love for real
But now I’m being buried alive
And I honestly don’t even care

You’re a drug I can’t quit
And I don’t think I want to
I’d rather die from loving you to much
Than die from being without you

Heir of rejuvenation
Birthed through demise
Clothe yourself in jubilation
For you shall rise

It’s not that I haven’t made an honest attempt
To translate my heart to you.
I’ve tried. God, have I tried.
To get through to you
To connect with you
To hold onto some spark of hope
That one day it’ll click for you
And you’ll just get it, you’ll suddenly have an epiphany, a dazzling revelation
And you’ll understand who the hell I am
But the spark of hope continues burning in my grasp and the fire is never put out and it’s torture. Absolute torture.
To come to the stark realization that there are parts of me that must always be inaccessible to you.
Parts of me that must always remain untouched by you.
Though I’ve led you to them, grabbed your hands and attempted to apply them to those places I desperately wish for you to see and to feel and to have and to hold.
But there are some things that simply will never be.
There are some wishes that simply will never be granted.
And there are some of us doomed to be perpetually misunderstood.

You had an immense gravity
So strong I was ****** right in
But you’re no star, you’re a black hole
And there’s nothing for me here but destruction

I know I can’t have you

I know we can’t do this

But playing reruns of our “might be’s”

Is simultaneously the most euphoric past time

As well as the most self-mutilating

I narrowly opened my eyes
Still glazed and heavy with sleep
I felt a strange presence in my room
Not a peaceful one, but definitely a beguiling one
There was a strange haze in the corner
It consisted of many tiny shining particles
Almost a glitter like substance
It was hovering in my peripherals
I turned and gazed
I felt unease and distrust
Though it looked beautiful and ethereal
I knew it meant me no good
And then it vanished

Stitching stories together in my mind
You’re always my main character
My noble knight, heavy with armor
And bursting with chivalry
You’re my favorite fantasy
You’ll always be my hero
My fairytale ending