Just leave me alone to slowly die.
It’s what you’ve been doing all along anyway.

Behind the veil of gauzy show
Gaze into the eyes that house the soul
Behind the masks we all wear
Inside the pain we all bear
There is a common thread
Woven through us all
Behind our facades
And our socially acceptable wall
We are all in need of something
Something greater than us
We all have holes
That need to be filled up
We all share wounded innocence
Behind our outward features
So be kind always
To your fellow broken creatures

I roll out of bed
And my bones all crack
A throbbing head
And quite a sore back
Ah yes, they say
“Age is gold.”
But from what I see these days,
It’s hard getting old.

Time is so fleeting.
And life is so short.
I regret how much time I’ve spent
Being selfish.
I regret how much time I’ve wasted
Nursing animosity.

Can a broken heart fully mend?
A shattered soul, fully heal?
Can one learn to not break, but bend?
And let old wounds finally seal?
Can words of torment ever be fully erased?
Tattoos they left in your spirit, made gone?
Can the image they painted of you, debased,
Ever be turned to right, from wrong.
Can forgiveness ever be found?
The years of pain melt away with the sun?
Or is it all too much to take back now?
Is it time to let go? To move on?

I guess he says he loves me.
I have a hard time believing only words.
It’s easy to get lost in wishes.
It’s easy to waltz with hope for too long.
Praying for a connection, not just an attachment.
Praying for even a morsel of my thoughts to be heard and not disregarded and disrespected to the highest degree.
I’m losing touch with reality.
And dancing in the pretty fantasy that maybe this is love.
Maybe I’m not wasting my time.
Maybe I’m not bleeding inside for no reason.
Maybe we can go to the sunshine.
But it seems impossible, when we are swallowed up and drowning in ever darkening waters.
Maybe this is love.
Maybe...

It isn’t love.
And it never was.
It was a lesson.
But not love.