My therapist leans forward in her brown leather chair
And thoughtfully places her hands and investigating, asks me
“So at the this point what do you want?”
I sit and introspect.
I want a massage
I want to understand myself
I want to connect better with people
I want to stop taking everything personally
I want to write better
I want to dance better
I want a lot of money
I want to go get my nails done,
But instead I answer
“I don’t know Janet. I don’t know what I want.”

Of course I’m tired, but
I don’t stop when I’m tired
I stop when I’m done

Eternity’s a long time,
May as well dance tonight

I forgot I am royalty
Too busy throwing my crown
At the feet of a man undeserving of my respect

Never again.

Fierce warrior girl,
With the ***** face,
****** arms
And the broken heart.

Don’t you EVER forget,
You have what it takes
To stand alone.

It’s time to blaze,
You’ve been drowning for too long.

You act high and mighty in the day
When your ego is burning hot with the sun
But darling I know you too well,
And I know the night is coming
When you’re alone.
Alone with your thoughts
Alone with your regrets
With no one next to you to kiss your face all over and wish you goodnight
The night is coming, babe.
And you’re going to reach out in desperation to me.
And I will relish leaving you alone.
The same way you left me.
And knowing that you loved it
To see me sad over you.
I will cherish every desperate cry of regret you utter to me.
And hold them in my heart like treasure
As you bellow again and again “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”
And I leave you feeling exactly like you made me feel
Like there is no one there listening
And you’re not heard

You left me to bleed,
Alone.
You left me alone