I want to feel worthwhile
I want a peaceful mind
that turns away from suicide.

I want life to be
my greatest accomplishment,
not death.

I save my life every day.
Every morning I wake up
and decide to live,
even though my limbs are heavy
and my mind stumbles,
I still heave myself up,
put my feet on the floor
and stand

A soft breeze of hope
brushed across my cheek.
I had thought I was dead -
I should have been dead -
but no
I felt my future's caress.

Slowly I opened my eyes
And recognized
that circumstance had saved me
or perhaps
something more had saved me.
I can't be sure.
All I know is
a soft breeze of hope
brushed across my cheek

I'm carrying my corpse today.
With every step,
I stagger beneath its weight.
My muscles are taut,
flexed to the point of breaking
I can't hold on much longer
I'm so tired
I just want to lay down
And let it drape over me.

My death is a private matter.
- but it's not -
So much pain.
So tired.
I can't stop now.

Disjointed words
Broken thoughts

I am sorry.

Which is better
happiness or hope?
Can you have one
without the other?

My ending is already set.
It stands right before me.
My GPS tells me I'm here;
just one step away.
But no,
I have to keep
reminding myself
that when my thoughts
are at their darkest,
I must turn away
and ignore
the constant recalibrations
that lead me back
to this same spot,
this one destination.
I have to keep
reminding myself
to turn away
and forge a new path
that will take me
further and deeper,
the long way 'round.