i lie
to myself
and others
when i say
I am not afraid
to die

it terrifies me
the idea
of ceasing
to exist

when you look down
at the body
of your mother
lying in a coffin
as the lid is closed
lowered in the ground
and covered by dirt
there is nothing else to say
but shed tears
of regret

it’s time

let go

accept

the inevitable

fall

willing

into the void

the blackness

the nothingness

of nonexistence

the world
melts away
when I hold you
in my arms

there are no others
nothing else matters
you are the center
of my universe

i see God
in your eyes
feel bliss
in your kisses
serenity
in your presences

It is you
it is me
it is us
together
as one
heart
and soul

it is overwhelming
to think about
the monumental
monolithic
cataclysmic
changes
that are
under way

i have let go
of the things
i can not change
freeing
releasing
my fears
and anxieties away

serenity
has washed over me
enveloped me
in a glow
of bliss
and forgiveness

i am at peace
with what i foresee

how can i not, but feel sorrow
look ahead, into the future
do you see
the devastation, desolation, that awaits
helpless, frustrated, i’ve resigned myself
to my and the world’s fate

are you seeking
meaning
in the stark
unforgiving brutality
of the human
condition

overwhelmed
by the emptiness

solace
found only
in addiction

numbing
away the pain

if only for
a moment

what is it
do you seek
from this existence