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  Nov 2024 Diana
nivek
your face carved from a star
travelled a younger universe

unknown to all except God
a silent echo of love

knitted together in womb of woman
seen to be created from afar-

brought near, a spirit
reborn from the invisible.
  Jun 2024 Diana
sankavi
i went to my first concert
it was the best thing ive ever been to
everyone was so alive
i felt so alive
it was all such an "in the moment" experience

jumping
sweating
laughing
singing
screaming

i wish life was a concert
yungblud
Diana Jun 2024
No where feels like home
Not even if I go back
To what once was familiar in youth
It's changed
I have too
And no roots have taken ahold
All soil I encounter is unfit for anchoring

I don't feel as though I am growing
Simply trying to survive
And maintain as much as I can
Mitigate damage from lack of essentials
Diana May 2024
I'm numb
Maybe in a depressed state
For sure in a depressed state
It's grief
Again

You've left
We've said our goodbyes
And it felt inadequate
Less than what I imagined it would be

I left numb
And it has carried with me since

Goodbyes are sacred
And yet I ******* hate them
Yet this time
There was no ghosting
No bitterness left unsaid

We came
As best as we could
To each session
And as all seasons tend to go
It ended
Maybe paused
We shall see in autumn
What out souls find to be true
About what happens to us
Our dynamic relationship

I feel incomplete
Like there's this itch I must've thought I scratched
But I realize now I didn't
Oh well
The depressed state I'm in doesn't seem to worry much about it now

No one wrote this blueprint in life for me
Much of anything else
So as I've done before
I do now
Trailblaze into a territory unknown
Except this time
I no longer have her next to me
In the way I did before
It's been weird since kemp left. I've busied myself and it has been helping. I feel and welcome the numbness. Utterly devastated but the anger tampers the sadness. I wonder if other ancestors before me have had a spiritual guide or counselor or therapist that they've had to say goodbye to.
Diana May 2024
Too much life has happened to me
To be able to relate to you anymore
I need more
And I find you not enough
Diana May 2024
As the knowledge
Of Kemp moving to North Carolina
settles heavily in my bones

I realize

I crave an individual
Who does not offer solutions immediately upon a revelation of mine mid conversation
But one who sits with me as I am

In whatever shape or form it takes

One who can absorb and contain my experience of speaking a feeling or experience into words
And have them just be as they are

No need to rush the processing or movement whirling within my vessel

Sitting with me as I am
With no hurry to avoid with stirs within the other
With no hurry to feel the relief of offering surface level words of minimizing the experience my body calls me to share

To simply be with me
In my experience
My therapist is leaving. I have one more session with her. I'm not ready to say goodbye. I never was. No amount of time could help the processing of it. All I can do is be with all that is. I look forward to the corrective experience in saying goodbye.
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