Suppressed rage and hurt
War with one another,
Fighting to push their scarred faces to the front of my attention,
All too often now in my body
Pick me, says rage
No, notice me, says hurt
That's all I feel in my body at this point
It's exhausting and depleting to the highest degree
Free me of this emotional hades
This torment won't let me go
No, it's embedded itself in my sweat and tears
Soaking through my flesh and bones
Penetrating to the deepest depths within
How could you have held me
In some of my most vulnerable moments
Only to make me feel like I was beneath you
A wine stain on your favorite white sundress that turned soft from frequent wear
Tossed in the trash without second glance
I trusted you
More than anyone
And now
We're strangers
Who knew each other in ways lovers yearn for
I was the moth to your flame
And a piece of me died when I burned myself
I have scars now
Ugly ones
Ones I picked at as they were trying to heal
Ones that have bumpy skin numb to touch
Ones that remind me of my trauma
Ones that never *****ng heal and bleed from the center
Fu€k you
I trusted you
And right now
I'm hating you a little extra
And missing you all the more stronger than the hate I'm currently feeling
I just feel weak mentioning it
I love you, Itzhel
I miss you, Itzhel
Until I visit my grief of you again