Life feels like nothing

Colors are muted

I no longer see in solely black and white
I broke through that level of sorrow

But the saturation lately has been fading and in its place leaves a larger gaping hole than the wonder I once held in what life has to offer outside of black and white

I feel anger
But then it quickly dissipates
And left in its place is a plateau of apathy

I have no desire for connection like I used to
Not with humans
Animals
Nor earth and her plants

I feel the soft familiar tug at my feet every now and then
She is ever so kind to me
Always reminding me of the great mystery I originate from
And one day
Will be recycled back into

I believe life will get better
It must, right?

Life feels analogous to sunrises
Some are placed in life
To where they wake up hours before the sun
Destined to wade in darkness before any ounce of light is to shine upon them
Others during the peak of the sun
And others much later where daylight has been present for hours

I feel as though I've been placed in the darkness for hours
Cursing those who wake up to light
It's simply not fair

i went to my first concert
it was the best thing ive ever been to
everyone was so alive
i felt so alive
it was all such an "in the moment" experience

jumping
sweating
laughing
singing
screaming

i wish life was a concert