Things are so bad
I wish
I could catch
A stray bullet
I'm not suicidal
But death
Would slap
Right now
I'm keeping my head
Close
To the window
In case
There is a shootout
My way out

I am not alone.
I walk with a lineage of greatness.
A bloodline of healers.
A generation of power.

I'm surrounded by these four walls,
My thoughts bouncing off of them;
Loud and clear.

I find comfort in these four walls,
Knowing that my cries for help never leave,
That when I wail at night no one can get to me.

I also feel trapped by these four walls,
They make me feel small,
The white colour blinding me when I come up for air each time.

But these four walls know me better than anyone else here,
They know the real me.
Because when I leave these four walls every morning,
I leave as a new me.

If I die,
Please save me the long dreaded speeches.
Whatever you never said while I was here,
Should be left unsaid.
Please read my poems outloud.
These were my true emotions.
My real thoughts.
Recite each at high pitch.
Sing my favorite hymn after each.
Save me the tears.
I've cried enough during my living years.
Save me the drama.
I've seen enough trauma.
Spare me the sadness.
I've felt all of it throughout my days.
Just hymns and poems.
I shall smile from above,
And at peace I shall be.

it's okay to feel.

you  are breaking
generational curses
generational traumas

some of those emotions
are not even your own

Everything is okay.
If it's not,
It's going to be okay.

Everything is working in my favor.
I am not cursed.
I am blessed.
My ancestors are working behind the scenes.
God has released all my blessings.
Everything is working out for my greater good.
I may not see it.
But it's true.
My suffering will end.
I will live the life I dream of.
I am becoming the best version of myself.
My angels are working hard,
To get me to where I need to be.
Everything is working in my favor.
I am not cursed.
I am blessed beyond measure.
I thank God.
I thank my angels.
In advance,
For what I'm about to witness.
I am becoming.
I am greatness defined.