At the end of the world where the sea meets the sky,
there's a small strip of land where the mermaids lie.
Where they chit and they chat, or play and have fun,
and top up their tan in the midday sun.
Now it's rare to see a mermaid, and you may never again,
so to see a whole shoal is a rareness x 10.
But this is what happened, or so it is told,
to a young keen explorer who was both handsome and bold.
When sailing alone he encountered a storm,
his boat then capsized, he was stranded, forlorn.
For day after day he sat atop of his hull,
until at last he was visited by a sizeable seagull.
He thought; "Land must be near, of that I am sure,
for a seagull this fat can't be far from a shore"
Then suddenly, beside him did a mermaid appear,
she said; "I'm here to save you, so please do not fear"
"Climb on my back and I'll take you to land"
and a short swim later his feet were on sand.
Swimming before him was a sea full of beauties,
he'd never seen cuties with fins on their booties.
With their flawless skin and long flowing hair,
and sunkissed bodies so tanned and so bare.
The mermaid said;
"My name is Christina-or Queen Tina for short,
and my sisters and I welcome you to our shores"
"I am called Tim" replied the hansome young chap,
"But I did not see your island marked on any a map."
"We've lived here for centuries in quiet seclusion,
and saved the life of the odd shipwrecked human.
My sister's and I will cater your needs,
we'll make a tent of a tree and a bed of seaweeds.
The explorer thought he could get use to this,
and began to forget she was half-woman half-fish.
In fact, young Timmy was falling in love,
as they slept on the beach with the night stars above.
They fed him on wine and the finest of food,
and Tim grew from a slim to a tubby young dude.
His shirt was now stretching, his trousers were tight,
he put on pound after pound with each bite after bite.
Months had gone by and tubby Timmy was bored,
day after day living life as a Lord.
He was missing his life of sailing and discovering,
of finding lost treasures and new lands exploring.
He told the Queen one day of his needs and his yearns,
and surprisingly the Queen understood his concerns.
She said; "I could see you were sad and exceedingly glum,
and I thought that this day would eventually come".
"We'll build you a boat, a raft or canoe,
and to say our goodbyes we'll throw a bit of a do".
So a bonfire was lit and each mermaid did bring,
food and drink and got the party in full swing.
They bathed fat Timmy in octopus ink,
and he thought to himself "this doesn't half stink."
They then rubbed his body in garlic and honey,
Timmy thought this strange and not finding it funny.
The Queen then declared "sisters-let us sit down to eat"
The Cook asked her Queen "how would you like your meat?"
The Queen replied;
"I like my human slow-cooked on a griddle,
crisp on the outside and pink in the middle!"