We were once inseparable.
But then the strength of time
Drifted us apart.
I leaned on you, you leaned on me.
We were the best of friends.
Can't  we go back to how it used to be?

It’s hard starting over,
Especially when you’ve grown
The slightest sense of familiarity.
When you hate the way you’re living.
But then the slightest ray
Of sunshine is sent your way.
Your walls tear down,
Hope begins to flutter.
Then that ray burns out,
And you’re left once again
Starting over.

I don’t like to rhyme
Because that’s the stereotype.
I love standing out,
Yet I crave fitting in.
I want to make a difference
But I hate the attention.
I want to enjoy life,
But I stay in the shadows instead.

I am ashamed
At how broken i am.
I apologize
For the amount of stress
I may cause in the midst of your
Efforts of trying to keep me held together.
I apologize
that i continue to fall apart
Before your glue has time to dry.
I apologize
That every time you pick a piece of me up,
Yet another breaks.
I am trying.
You are fixing me slower than i am breaking,
And i am ashamed.
Thank you.
Thank you for not giving up
On a broken piece of nothing.

I apologize.
I’m sorry that all of your responsibilites
Are washing over you,
Pushing you into a worrysome bout of aggravation.
I’m sorry thar you don’t feel you’re parenting well,
Not keeping me satisfied 100 percent of the time
I’m sorry that i’m so much to handle,
Adding onto the unbearable weights you carry.
I’m sorry that you feel meaningless
When you’re my world,
My inseperable half.
And most importantly,
I’m sorry I haven’t been able to help you.

lips like poison,
eyes as green as envy,
one word and you have me
falling to your knees.
one kiss and i have blood dripping
from my own lips.
you chase me,
until i’m intoxicated by lust.
your body finally intertwines with mine.
yet i wake up feeling loved,
but to no one around.

You've been gone so long
You haven't got to see
This little broken butterfly,
With little broken wings.
I'll heal soon,
then see you again.
Because this little strong butterfly
With little strong wings
Will fly far away
And accomplish beautiful things.

You know the line,
Where the sun meets the ocean?
When all the beach
Is engulfed in hues of red, orange, purple.
I want to sit out, and watch that happen.
Watch the sun set into its own work of art.
You know the infamous clock,
Big ben?
The one in London that everyone loves.
I want to sit, right after dark
And paint the beautiful tower.
I’ll watch as the locals make fun of me,
A tourist in awe of a clock.
But I won’t care,
Because I’ll have checked it off
Of my simplistic little bucket list.

It’s so odd,
How it takes years to build a life.
A life you’ve put so much effort into,
A life worth living.
And then
In an instant,
Everything can change.
And all your hard work
Banishes into nonexistence .

Dainty little daisy
Alongside
A wilting little sunflower.
Sometimes it takes
One to go
For one to grow.

I had a wonderful night.
I have a great life.
But something feels empty,
And I don't know why.
I feel like I'm dieing ,
Yet I'm perfectly fine.
Something's not right
And there's no way to explain.
I want to go live my life freely,
No bonds tieing me down.
I don't want to think about the consequences.
Because I don't know if there will be a tomorrow.
I don't want to be here,
But I'm trying so hard to make the best of it.
What is wrong with me?
Someone tell me.
Please.

Depression is
Invisible.
Depression is
Not a joke to be made to friends.
Depression is
Like being in a car
Going to fast.
Uncertain of the destination.
Depression is
Drowning in water
You could save yourself from
If you would just STAND.
Just
Stand
Up.
Depression is
Lating in the same water
Weights tied down on you.
Depression is
Being trapped in your own prison,
Everyone you love surrounding you,
They can’t reach you.
If you would just REACH OUT.
Just
Reach
Out.
Depression is
Laying in your fortress of solitude
Rotting away.
Depression is
A drop of water in a drought.
You are useless.
Depression is
Not a feeling.
In fact,
There’s no feeling at all.
Depression is
Finding out who cares the most
When you’ve shut yourself down
And they still care for you.
People
Still
Care.
I promise.

I should be happy
But that’s not how I feel.
I’m sitting in a puddle
Of sorrow and doubt.
And though it’s just a puddle,
There’s no way out
If I stand up,
Then maybe I won’t drown.
But something,
And I don’t know what,
Is holding me down.

Holding onto you
Is like carrying around
Broken glass by hand.
Incompetent and unethical.

I remember
When you would kiss me,
Coca-Cola fresh on your lips.
I remember
When you’d get upset
If I didn’t reply
In a matter of minutes.
I also remember
When you only gave me side hugs.
And began to take days
Just to reply.
I remember
Falling in love.
And I remember
Falling out.

I try too hard.
I know, I've been told.
But I just want to fit in
I just want to be liked.
I guess that's too much
To ask for.
I can't please you
And you don't accept me either way.
I be myself,
You hate it.
I try changing,
I'm 'fake'.
Who do you want me to be?

looking into your eyes
reminded me of a galaxy,
too far to discover.
you were venturing your thoughts
while i was locked out.
looking at your lips
reminded me of the clouds
on a stormy day.
so tempting to touch,
yet so dangerous.
hearing your voice
brought me into a blissful peace
i have yet to discover on my own.
everything about you
screams into my soul,
reminding me that you are
my forbidden fruit.
but oh what I wouldn’t do
to take one more bite.

Its been a long time
Since i even searhed for the real me.
Instead,
i’m too busy apologizing
For not being the person I used to be.
I miss her too,
Don’t get me wrong,
But i feel like at this point
She’s too far gone.
I wish i could go back
To the simpler days,
Where the only thing to worry about
Is what song I’d sing on Sundays.
I can’t focus and i can’t see.
Which is why i’ve given up
On finding the person i used to be.

It seems as if
All of my rhythm
All of my creativity
Has been suckled out
Like a sad puddle
On a dry day.
Where have my words gone?
I need them now more than ever.

I keep saying “believe in yourself”,
but i won’t believe in me.
to expect you to do this,
how much of a hypocrite would i be?
i’m in a garden
of roses
But still see a ****.
I’m expecting to grow,
but won’t move to new soil.
every time i have the opportunity
i recoil.
it’s time to notice my worth
instead of viewing myself as the dirt.

Hallows Eve.
Just another night
With a twist.
You take off the masks,
Tonight there's no need to hide.
Because in reality,
The monsters are hidden inside.

I am standing on a tightrope
As you’ve taken the net from beneath me
Once again.
See one wrong step,
One wrong move,
And i’ve ended it all.
So as your words
Shoot arrows past my head,
I haven’t the time
Nor the energy
To dodge them.
So please,
Take the net,
Shoot the arrows,
And hope i survive the outcome

You were my first love.
My first kiss.
My first butterfly feeling.
You were my everything.
But first and foremost,
You were my first heartbreak.
Fall nights with our bodies huddled up
Intertwined together liked roses on a fence.
Those nights I wished would never end.
But she called you up and you went running.
Everything we once had was gone.
****.
In one moment, my whole world changed.
My soft heart open to anything you asked,
Shut down and isolated itself.
I cuddled with my anxiety
On those fall nights.
You told me you loved me
For more reasons
Than there are stars in the sky.
Come back please,
And feed me one more lie?

So many of us
Can only find despair.
We are just traveling through
A dark tunnel we can't find the end to.
Don't give up yet.
Because for all you know,
You're just two steps away
From the light at the end of the tunnel.

When I say I’m a hopeless dreamer,
I mean when I think of traveling the world,
I think of the 35 cents
Sitting on my counter:
I can travel to the couch and back.
When I say I’m a hopeless romantic,
I mean when I think of you and I,
I think of finding a *** of gold
At the end of a rainbow:
Not going to happen.
See, I’ve got dreams,
I think of romance.
But I’m also quite aware of reality,
And I’m aware of things that just aren’t possible.

A part of me rests in your hands.
It took me great strength to give this up.
You carry it around carelessly,
As if it were a gum wrapper
You’re ready to drop.
You slowly discard these pieces
As i follow behind
Picking them up,
And once again
Placing them into your hands.
See that’s the thing about being blind
About one sided love.
Do this for decades,
And here i am.
Cleaning up MY mess
YOU made.
And still I never leave.

I always say
Don’t worry,
Because the storm
Comes before the rainbow.
When do you think
I’ll start taking my own advice?

Time flies.
You know this.
Yet you use it up so selfishly.
No one is promised tomorrow.
You know this.
Yet you use your days to criticize people,
Instead of trying
To make they’re unknown tomorrow better.
Words are strong.
You know this.
Yet you throw them around
Like they’re paper *****
And not hand grenades.
You hurt people.
But once again, you know this.

You were like a kite in the wind
I was the hopeful little child
Who could never get you
To where you needed to be.
Running for hours
Hoping you would catch up
And fly
Ever so delicately.
But you never did.
I couldn't control you.
Maybe that's why
It was so hard
To say goodbye?

The fear of isolation overwhelms me
As tears stream down my face
For no one to see.
It seems as if they are in competition,
Who can run faster?
They leave my cheeks,
Because even they
Don’t want to keep me company.

Actions speak louder than words.
You won’t fully understand this
Until you’re standing in front
Of a broken heart
From the lies you’ve told.
You won’t fully understand this
Until you’ve turned the light drizzle of rain
Into a hurricane.
You won’t fully understand this
Until you’ve watched someone’s trust
Leave their body and crash
Into a million pieces below.
And you won’t fully understand this
Until you’re standing in the ruins
Worse than Athens
That you’ve created from those actions.

If I died,
Would you care?
The real question is,
If I lived
Would you care?
Will you cherish me
When I’m here
And not just
When I’m gone.

Can we forget about now?
Can we not think of tomorrow?
Let's go back in time,
Where things were happier.
Simpler.