We were once inseparable.
But then the strength of time
Drifted us apart.
I leaned on you, you leaned on me.
We were the best of friends.
Can't  we go back to how it used to be?

Hallows Eve.
Just another night
With a twist.
You take off the masks,
Tonight there's no need to hide.
Because in reality,
The monsters are hidden inside.

The feelings have stirred up.
The unwanted anxiety.
"No one invited you, please leave."
It's not listening to me,
So I run.
They say you can't run from your problems.
Watch me.
I'll run.
Mentally.
Physically.
I'll run until my cheeks are wind burnt.
Until my lungs are on fire.
I'll run until my problems melt away.
I'll run until pain
Is just another irrelevant word.

Can we forget about now?
Can we not think of tomorrow?
Let's go back in time,
Where things were happier.
Simpler.

You were my first love.
My first kiss.
My first butterfly feeling.
You were my everything.
But first and foremost,
You were my first heartbreak.
Fall nights with our bodies huddled up
Intertwined together liked roses on a fence.
Those nights I wished would never end.
But she called you up and you went running.
Everything we once had was gone.
****.
In one moment, my whole world changed.
My soft heart open to anything you asked,
Shut down and isolated itself.
I cuddled with my anxiety
On those fall nights.
You told me you loved me
For more reasons
Than there are stars in the sky.
Come back please,
And feed me one more lie?

I write poems to express my feelings
        But the problem is
   I don't know how I'm feeling.
The search party is still out
 Because I know somewhere out there
Deep down inside
Is the little girl I used to be
Just trying to hide.
Hide from all the hate that was so foreign
The hate that's  part of her life now
But she just won't accept it.
  She's looking for the rainbow
But the rainbow isn't there.
She's just trying to find herself.
But there's hate everywhere.

I had a wonderful night.
I have a great life.
But something feels empty,
And I don't know why.
I feel like I'm dieing ,
Yet I'm perfectly fine.
Something's not right
And there's no way to explain.
I want to go live my life freely,
No bonds tieing me down.
I don't want to think about the consequences.
Because I don't know if there will be a tomorrow.
I don't want to be here,
But I'm trying so hard to make the best of it.
What is wrong with me?
Someone tell me.
Please.