Mistake after mistake
and fear after fear,
the time I was to make
was the time I did the break.
Mistake after mistake
and guilt after guilt,
the heart I had to give
was the heart that couldn't forgive.
And I am..
Saying just to say, praying just to
pray,
crying just to cry, living just to lie.
Crying for all the lying, and crying feels like
dying.

-

hiding either in
a bathroom
or behind a desk,
a single hand can render
a mass manipulation
of mentality,

yanking along with it
by-way-of an
electronic leash,

the soul–

as if so many fingernails
were being driven into
these thin plastic
brain coffins—

millions
of
       them...



s jones
2021


.

he taught me the wrong ways to love

his love was always a knife my throat

lost the definition of trust

is this all your love

is this what I need

-


Lines border my eyes like new roads
to more distinguishing characteristics,
signifying for me many a morning frown.

I draw my face closer to the mirror to
examine them in more detail, mapping
pending destinies laid fresh like asphalt.

Traces of purple fans out from the exterior
corners, I think of them as ink spatter that
gets larger every time I endorse

a small check.

I cannot stop the runs but I can
hide the evidence with concealer
creams and foundation,

establishing a façade upon which
the viewer will find as pleasant
from just the right                          
                                       distance.

I stand back just so approximately
from the mirror to admire
an illusion of youth,

and then move forward once more
to fathom the texture
of experience—

"Maybe less this time" I think,
have I not earned the right ?


s jones
2011-2021

.

So black
So blue
You know that feeling
Don't know what to do

You sit at the desk
Looking out
Looking in
Asking , why can't I win

Black is the night
That my midnight blues
Haunt

Blue is the heart
Broken into a thousand
pieces

So are the memories
That lay black as death
While love ceases

Black are the days past
But the blues live on
they last and last

So be blessed my blues
Black be the rules

When I look out my window
It all seems so cruel