I didn’t forget
I couldn’t get myself to.

I never started
I couldn’t bring myself to.

Sometimes I wish I could
Most times I couldn't help it

To try…? To try….?
I’ll have to change my heart.

It didn’t stop loving you,
How hard I worked at that!

I throw someone else at it,
It would not shift ground.

I’d lurch anyone its way; a choke hold,
Boomerang, It lands back at your corner;

Am beginning to think you took it with you
And left me a replica to tinker.

Your laughter still staggers round my ear
Your touch still makes my skin scale hurdles.

Like the path the sun trails everyday to the west
My heart settles on you in every way.

I didn’t do you any wrong
You wronged me neither.

I didn’t forget your kiss,
How could I, when it was shared.

I didn’t forget
How could I get myself to?

Mirror Mirror on the wall
Wake up for my sake
I've been waiting to know if i'm really any pretty after all
I've been waiting all fall to know if i really have to be this fake

Do i have to get lip injections
Just to look like Kylie
Do I have to get hair extensions
So i can look just like  a Barbie

This is tiring !
Do i have to do this just to be appreciated ?
This crap is time consuming
But yet i don't have a choice , i want to fit in rather than being humiliated

It took me years to understand but i think i get it

Pretty* is .. a carrot a day or nothing a day
Being *beautiful is ...  getting that perfect figure by wearing a waist trainer overnight
It is being on the surgery table to make *at least 20 kg vanish in a day
I can't breathe with this thing on but that doesn't matter , some squished up organs won't doing any harm right ?

i am already empty inside
i have no soul so some rib extractions won't make a difference
i have no soul because i just follow the crowd
i want the boys to notice me more
ha ha and that is definitely supposed to make my parents proud

I think i understand what being perfect and pretty is now .
No pain no gain right ?
To be loved and appreciated i must make changes , drastic changes.
for the better right ?

I must have curves but a flat tummy
I must have a thigh gap but still just enough meat so i can be "yummy" or "hot"
I must have the perfect nose and ***** but not something that is too fake
I must be smart but yet have enough time to look after myself , do my makeup to look pretty for him or look presentable enough

But no presentable isn't knee length skirts and average tops
its tight short skirts and crop tops , things that show off my body , things that show off "their woman" .

So to sum it up to be loved and appreciated , to get  attention and to feel important to someone .
To be accepted i must change
I must do so much but yet at the end of the day it is the men that excited that they got "laid"
and that should make me proud , should i be happy that i at least fit in the range ?

I can forget about school and good jobs
cause all i need and want are boys and **** jobs.
All i need are my best friends , the diet pills
and all those military diet fitness drills.

cause that would make me happy , that would make me feel accepted and wanted.
So i ask again Mirror are you proud of me ?
Am i pretty now ?
Am i perfect now ?
Can I finally be loved now ?
Can i finally be "happy" now ?

These feelings that I have
I no longer wish to hide,
and with this being said,
it's time for you to decide.

Now is the time for you
to settle the final score.
This game that we play
is not much fun anymore.

Tell me exactly what you want.
You have kept me so confused.
Should I just give up already?
What would you have me do?

But take all of me or take nothing.
Part-time love is not what I want.
I will try to make this very clear.
You either want me or you don't.

All that I really want from you
is to be given just one chance.
A chance to show you the beauty
of a truely passionate romance.

I feared this would happen someday
It did today.
I saw you and froze.
No, I didn't see you,
My heart did.
The one you left like a disused ice rink
Hemmed in dejection and despair,
Collapsed it's roof and
Subject to the elements
The one that had only words too sweet
For your hollow heart to salivate on
It didn't die
Not a natural death.
So I feared you might rouse it again
But I cannot question what right you have to that, because
I never stopped loving you.

I was going to write some
Raw truth
Alas the backspace overpowered
And my ugly truth
That I fail to accept

was erased

It is a fun game
That this keyboard
This black ink on this temporary white screen
Can so easily disappear
Can so quickly be erased
Without a single trace of it

And I pity this page
My page
That can so easily be erased
By this electronic eraser
That clears my ugly truth
That I can never seem to...

And ****!

You will never know the words I was going to say
For they were just erased
And deleted
From this electronic white page
By my electronic eraser
That distorts my ugly truth
That....

****


It's like a magic trick
This thing
You'll never know my final stanza because
Of my contemplative fingers
That too easily erase.

**** **** ****
The writers' fingers go
They race
I can hear those backspace buttons ringing through the air
Of this dead, echoing night
Erasing their thoughts
Because of
hesitation
Doubt
Contemplation
The worry that they won't care
About that last line you were itching to write

Tell me
Do you hear them
Loud and clear
In the drumming air

****! ****! ****!

The writers' words
That will
Infinitely
Be
erased.