I woke up
Feeling anxious
Wondering if the demons
That haunted me the night before
Are still around.
They never show up during the day,
But when I'm back in my room
They mess inside my head
They know I'm a fighter
I won't cry for help
They push me into a deep storm
Yet I stay brave enough not to sway.
Sleep is far from consciousness
I am helpless, but not broken.
As the poison of red wine
Sinks in my blood
I slowly get past the demons
And follow the clouds like cotton candies
I am finally dreaming
I am finally sleeping.

I wonder if you cleaned away
The stains of my palm on your bedroom wall.
I wonder if you finally bought the King size bed
That you always wanted to get for us.
I wonder how you have been sleeping
After I left and broke your heart.
What did you do with our pictures
That I gifted you on our first Valentine's Day?
I had put so much time to make it
And I was so touched when you cried to see it.
How are you?
Are you okay?
Is work keeping you busy?
I am so sorry I let our love go to waste.
I am so sorry I couldn't love you like you needed.
Do I want to be with you?
No.
Do I miss you?
Yes.
I miss you badly.

I am certain
Your body, in all its beauty and forms, precedes time.
It's like an infinite geometrical symphony,
A mystical existence in space-
Enlighting the essence to my being.
I want it in all parts,
I want it whole.
Engulf me in all curves and edges,
Tour me in my favorite places.
Your body, satisfyingly disturbing, both pure and dark
I know not, which is sadder-
The fact that I have fallen deeply into this chaos,
Or that you are completely unaware.

I dream of a little home
Where each brick in that home is built with love
Our bedroom would be on the East side
So that the first sunrays of each morning would caress our face and wake us up
Our little home would have a huge backyard
Where I would grow a vegetable garden
The front yard would have a little fountain and a bird house.
I would also plant white rose, yellow marygold and pink lily
Our love would blossom each day like these flowers.
Our living room window would have a
mounted cat bed
Our lazy cat would curl between us when we watch movies sitting on the couch

I dream of a simple life,
Where you and me
Fill ourselves with love and support.
We would hold each other's back, and grow with eachother
Every morning would be a beautiful morning because you would be the first one I would see
And every night would be blissful, because I can sleep on your chest.

This is all I dream,
A dream for you and me.

I'm crying inside,
Are tears meant to be this salty,
That you float so easily on it?
As if it's common
Not to sink in ocean.
And I am scared of sharks.

If God exists, please God, save me-
From the unknown that I am falling into,
The unknown black hole, that has ****** in
All my happiness
All my hope..
To the point of no return,
My love must be an owl,
Hooting hopelessly, in this dark
Wishing, lost in what ifs and buts
I wish the elephant in the room
Wasn't so invisible.
I wish I could let go
Of pain, and suffering..
But words are all I have that bleed,
No tears can console as much as poetry,
So I write endlessly,
Hoping someday, I would heal.
Someday, I might just feel fine.

I am not somebody
You can take for granted.
You must have mistaken me
For someone else.
'Cause I am not the kind
You brag of how much you made a difference
Coming into my life.
Baby, my life ain't something with you,
And my life is no different with you.
I don't need you to define me.
I am the King of my own world.
You ain't the light at the end of the tunnel.
You ain't Jesus.
So, stop playing God.
And stop acting like how important you are to me in front of my sister,
Stop acting like you care in front of your friends.
You ain't that special.
I've lived my life without you,
Just like I can still live my life without you.
You ain't no ruby, you ain't no diamond.
Stop pretending like you care.
I told you that I Love You,
But, it just ain't fair
That you take my love for granted.
I can leave this drama any time I want,
You must have mistaken me for somebody else,
Well, I ain't that easy.