Pick your battles,
They said.
Well,
Most of my battles
Turn into wars.
I rip myself apart,
My demons grow stronger.
The opposing side makes their battle cry
As I brace for defeat.
Fear.
Loneliness.
It's all inside.
Pick your battles,
They said.

She is not your soul mate.
Your soul mate is crying in the dark because
She doesn't know
You are her light.

He is not your soul mate.
Your soul mate wears his robe to an early graduation.
His wits won't take him far away
But your kiss will.

She is not your soul mate.
Your soul mate draws death on every surface because
He hasn't seen your face, yet.

He is not your soul mate.
Your soul mate looks in the mirror and smiles because
Love is a dangerous thing.

I see metaphors from broken hearts
and wish my heart would break into
something beautiful.
I spend my time making love to pen and paper
in hopes of producing
something acceptable.
I wait at my desk for hours,
crying and trying
to purge something useful out of me.
But no matter how hard I try,
no matter how much my fingers bleed
and my heart aches
I will never be a Poe, Hemingway or Dickinson.
I'm just a fragile little girl wearing her heart not on her sleeve but on paper.
Hoping,
praying,
that will be enough.

I can't breathe
My entire world is crumbling down upon me
It's enclosing on me,squeezing me,trying to pop me like a pimple
Trying to force to become this being that I am not
I CAN'T BREATHE!
So I just scream,"Get off me,leave me alone",
But no no no it does not go!
No,it just get closer and closer,
Whispering in my ear louder and louder!
Why won't you just leave me alone!
You expect me to be genius that I am not
This problem solver at a moments notice
Trying to compare me to them
Well I am not them,I am me
I am not this Almighty smart being
I do not have wings, soaring high above the skies
No,I run in the woods,attempting to hide from judgmental words
I run in the wind,across the seas, burning the words to ashes as I pass them by
Laughing yet crying because I have become exhausted from the nonstop comparisons
No matter where I go they seem to find me
Dancing around my head taunting me
I will never be free
Why won't you just let me be
Why must you hold me in these handcuffs trying to bend me to your will
Conditioning me until I forget who I am
Why...?
Don't you see I will never be like them
I can never be like them
Though I wish I could
I must find my own way
Whatever way that may be,
I'll find it and just be me

What am I to make of all this?
Our destinies don't align
You will never love me like I love you
And yet I would still give my last breath to you
The lunacy of pursuing the horizon
Hoping that someday I'll finally reach it
with my bare hands  
Hoping that someday
you'll see how much you mean to me
and finally respond
But alas, the day ends
the sun sets, the moon rises
What little light fills the void
I hold my breath in my hands
where your heart could have been
Here I am, letting you go
There you are, letting me suffer
The wind blows you away
only to be discovered by another lucky soul
Until we meet again, sweet you,
goodbye

As to the times and the seasons
As to men and their reason
For though things suddenly come
Whether be demons or the glorious son
We do not thrive in darkness
We were not made for the night
To us stars, angels, harken
You are the children of light

Why is it that nothing i do proves anything anymore
You keep rereading past chapters
And ignore my rise from the fall
I want nothing more than for you to see how far I've come
But change was never an option
For me at all
So why do i bother striving for better
To prove you wrong?
To make you proud?
One day if you ever shut your mouth and open your eyes to see all that i can be
You'll be proud of me and i can rest
Making amends with my 10th grade regrets