Breaking point
I want for you to suffer with me
Taking note
Its only miles into the nether
Shake it off
I want for you to understand
my aching heart
How many miles until it breaks

I ate the orange
That you left in the kitchen
I put seventy-five cents
In its place

I don't know how badly
You wanted to eat it
But if you did
I'm sorry

Please don't be upset

Everyone is always talking to each other
One another
I sit in the darkest corner of a room
I want to be alone
Don't speak
Read me aloud
My lines are only etched by mortal hands
Waiting for a god to understand
I've unlocked the door
Unfastened the lock
Unhinged the chain
And waited
Everyone grows sadder everyday
In every way
I hide in whatever shadows
Content in brutal dark
I won't speak
I'll cry in silence
In black and white and strokes of pens
Waiting for what I understand is color
And love

I was born a poet
I became I poet
I laugh, and I joke
And I play, and I sing
And I work
       Work
   Work
And I worry about tomorrow
But all of that is secondary

If you want to know me
You already do
   Write
       Write
And I write
About the things I'm going through
And the world I know
I became a poet
I was born a poet

As a poet
Everything you do
Is poetry
Even the way you move

According to the gospel
As the lord and savior traversed the holy land
Preaching the word and showing the light
Speaking with god and devil alike
Speaking love to mankind
It is said
He would find the sick
The suffering of infirmity
He would lay his hands to their skin
And heal them
He would heal them
According to the gospel

My days are long
And I have bruises that don't show on my flesh
Impracticalities that should cause mental maladies
That would help me find the self destruction I fear
And that I fear awaits me
I'm tired when I wake up
And dead through the day
But I feel alive
Every time I put my words to the page
I feel a sage
Whose wisdom is generational
I feel hope

I may be sick
Maybe
I may be a lost and tortured soul unfit to exist
In this existence
Maybe
I may feel pain
I may
And the only disease I know is the brutality of life
Maybe

Poetry heals me
It is the hands in the desert
On the ***** in the cave
It is the words as rain to feed the seed
It is the sprout of a flower
And the bloom
It is my reason
And my religion

It is my gospel

And when the angels sing
If no one else can hear but I can
I'll know of peace
In a world of disarray

Because I want to be strong I am weak
Those fickle petty rules by which we live
            Have made me sick
I'm not immune to having dreams and desires
When every better part of me
            Has been seduced
By the velveteen swans that flash as images in my mind
And on the plasma screens for which I bleed

And really I have grown
Grown sick and tired and exhausted
From breathing the air I need to live
The toxic vile air
Causing cancer
From drinking from the well
Which has been poisoned

I like my poison undiluted

I like my poison clearly marked
By sinister skulls and crossbones
          With the worst of intentions
I would actually enjoy the knowledge
That this poison in my blood
           Is going to reach my once enamored heart
Which used to beat with the hope for tommorow
And now is a rhythmic device in a song full of sorrow

And really I have died
Dangerous oderous chemical sand timers
I've died a thousand insecure lives
In a false world
With fake meaning
And my arteries and veins will attest
This disease is a foe that never rests

I like my poison undiluted

Mary had a little lamb
Who ran away from home
To follow a wolf
In sheep's clothing

Why does it have to be?
Does it always have to be so?
There is no peace
Only shadowy deciet
And one would have thought
That in the arms of lovers
Holding one another
Sisters and brothers

You would have thought
Art is beautiful
But when you dig through the veneer
You find the wood that's rotten

What kind of demon is this?
That stays in the house
Where words are mostly broken glass
And right or left goes too far
What kind of devil is this?
That lives in the lobby
With subversive tactics
And the root of all evil

You can be right
And its all wrong
You can be left

It doesn't matter how it happens
In the end
The devil wins

******
Let me show you my weakness
When I tried to be strong
I was a lover all along
I was right when I was wrong

And all the passion
I became Vesuvius
A cauldron of boiling energy
An eruption to destroy Pompeii
And **** the innocence

And what would ever make me weaker
Than being shown the god I believe in
Is only a false idol
A deception
Leading me to the darkest parts of night

What will make me strong again?
Only love

And in Pompeii
They are still frozen in time
The moment a beautiful landmark
Became a killer
And the look of terror can still be seen in their eyes

And really all I can say
Is that I'm sorry

I tried to be something
But I wasn't strong enough

My half life becomes me
I laugh at pain
Because it's all I know
Three ducks in a row
Three blind mice
Me all alone
The farmers wife is angry

My dying energy
I can not find the source of strength
I used to know
So I go searching
With feeble hands and aching back
Into a new world
My mind is reeling

Ponce de leon thought he found the fountain of youth
He was wrong
Still I am much like him
I thought I found you

The moon rushes in
With her salted jeans
And I'm on her darker side
I could have gone a life
Without seeing her again

I remember so much
Like I can still feel it
Her voice was music
My porcelain moon
That shattered my heart

She told me once I was her sunshine

The moon only wanes
With her make-up on
I try to run away
But even in the day time
She still finds me

She smiled at me
But never said a word
And my burning glance
The look in my eyes
Said stay away

She told me once I was her sunshine

She showed me once that I was darkness

I was born in Dallas Texas
I grew up in Charlotte North Carolina
Seven million people
Not one pornstar
I wonder what that means

No

I wonder what that means to me

I thought positive thinking would make me happy
So I was positive you were the one
Well we find out
Just thinking that someone is something
Doesn't make them be that thing

Well its not your fault

Maybe I haven't learned to be postive enough
Maybe I like to feel the bitter sting of disappointment
Maybe you were never really real to begin with
Maybe I just made you up
Maybe I hurt myself

I know it's not your fault

She calls me crazy
I guess me and her
Are more alike than
She will ever know

I don't want to cry,
So I won't, I'll just have a think
Pour a drink and let
The poison do the rest

When your pretty
Everyone thinks you're dumb
When your delusional
You don't care what they think
When your pretty
Everyone opens doors
When your crazy
The doors were never closed to begin with

Used to be gods and prophets
Now its odds
And profit

There's not enough depth
In the ocean
A million fish in the sea
That don't have memory

Times were always changing
I guess we were changing too
Hanging on bent curves
And straightened bows
Our eyes wide open and seeing
We couldn’t see yesterday
But do the walls go up?
The slings and arrows
The battles in never-ending war
Rattling sabers
Not gonna save us
We open our arms
As dark as it sounds we open our arms...

And take heart
Take solace
Find fortitude in the truth
Times were always changing
I guess we were changing too
Its universal
Its the particle unto the dust
The shine and the sheen
The rust
Its all true

There is no poison I can live without
Not even love

Caveman didn't invent fire
The gods did

It was a gift from Prometheus
And he is still chained to a rock
On an ocean cliff
With vultures gouging at his eyes

Just so we could have it
So we could know of warmth and light

Just goes to show you
No good deed goes unpunished

It will be a long hard time
Before I forget
But I promise
I won't

Psyche
You did not marry a monster
What kind of soul shows such kindness
Such understanding
Such love
Psyche
You would listen to your sisters
Who had grown green with envy
And red with jealousy
And black with deceit

Psyche
Your lover
Is none other
That that most beautiful of the gods
He that men call Eros

Psyche
Why would you have to prove?
With your knife and lantern in hand
Not knowing what you had
Or what you would lose
Psyche
These test you have to pass
Merely ways to prove your faith
You always had
Your guilded fate

Drink deep the sweet nectar of ambrosia
And live forever

Psyche
Your lover
Is none other
That that most beautiful of the gods
He that men call Eros

I'll suffer anything
Any psychic pain
A transit the moon and the stars
Lonesome smoky bars
I move from station to station
Holy spheres
And the music made
A symphony of volcanic eruption

And it burns town to towns
It burns down the cities
It burns down my life
All is left is sullen rubble

I'll suffer anything
It's only psychic pain
Nothing I can't handle
Nothing I haven't seen

We live in cycles
Led by psychos
We suffer silently

I didn't want to push too much
Push the envelope
Push you away
But by the time the night gets late
And I'm looking at the witching hour
Sweet dreams turned sour
I didn't want to push too much
But the only chance I've got
For change
To keep the water from being dammed
I have to push the river

We cannot forget
If we are to climb the mountain
That it is one step at a time
One foot in front of the other

We ascend the stairs in all due ceremony
In the highest mode
Righteous persistence brings reward
One achieves ones will completely

If we forget
We cannot climb this mountain
Our minds ahead of our feet
Not seeing the next step

This man advances blindly
Rising in the dark
And at the highest point
There is only loss

I only got so much
So much ain't
So much nothing
So much I can't take with me
Make it hard for me to breathe
Impossible
Believe

Maybe my left eye closes
When they find me
When I'm lost
When I am hiding
Make it difficult to live
Impossible
To die

I only have a particle
To hold onto
And dreary eyes
Set focus on a sunrise
As sure nobody understands
As sure I can
That this is real

Impossible
Believe

i still havent figured out the greatest answer
the things ive seen
i dont know really
i dont
and is that why im still here?
because i always did
and i always will

know scars from depths and heavens lashings
felt coal and fought the demons pleading
been starving cold and hungry
been all alone
ive been alone
but i know the way the season changes
i know cherry blossoms and sweetest honey
taste the nectar of my eternal spring
i felt love
of the way the sunrises

pyramids
slow down
find the reason why

i had a talk with myself the other day
i told myself to be strong
like i was before
like i am all along
and that even this pain will be something
i laugh at

Yo quiero conocerte
Que te conozco más
Que la playa conoce el mar
Yo quiero tocarte
Tocarte piel blanda
Tu pelo suave

Yo quiero amarte
Pero, quiero más
Que me quieres

Y no hay nada más importante  a mí
Ní otra cosa que creo

As this poison flows through my veins
Reducing me,
This sweet drug that I am accustomed to
My good friend,

I know I have to quit

Just a different poison than before
A white horse,
All my time chasing dragons
I've been here before

I know I have to quit

Its not that I want to
Or need
It's that this poison seeps
And I'm dying

I know I have to quit

The finest clothes turn into rags
And she's cautious all day long
Any leak in the boat
Can be plugged with her tattered silk
Peril sneaking in
Be alert and prepare for crisis

Beautiful clothes becoming worn out
Beautiful clothes becoming rags
She is on guard all the day
-- she is in doubt about something.
symbolizing Water and Peril
--she will be cautious and prepare for evil

This silken gown is tattered and torn
The girl is wearing rags
There is a hole in the boat
The water seeping in
Peril sneaking in
What was thought to be secure

The semblance of brilliant attire
The lowliness of ripped apart rags
She is on guard all the day
-- she is in doubt about something.
symbolizing Water and Peril
--she will be cautious and prepare for evil

A wall as many miles wide
To cover up the sun
We all see clouds
We don’t see silver linings
The storm and rain
The window panes are tearing at their hinges
I’m sitting at a window
Watching clouds coming in
Closing the horizon
And I’ve opened up my eyes

We need the rain
Days of old we prayed for rain
Those holy men, temple priests and shaman
Sacrifice was made for rain
Our crops may grow
And yield a holy harvest
That with the love of god
This next year will be better than the last
Our thirst may quench
Our hearts find love
And I’ve opened up my eyes

Even though the clouds
Clouds announcing your arrival
Have disappeared
Have fallen into sullen blues
And the furthest reaches of heaven
I will always feel the storm they brought
The destruction which they wrought

The rain will always put me under

The soil accepts the pain
As way to regeneration
It only stings my skin
While it slowly brings my end
As though the flowers bloom
Im only left to whither further
And each part of hope I held becomes such bitter rot

The rain will always put me under

I only learned of the stars
Because the way in which I saw them
Was something beautiful to you
I only know when it rains
There is no ceiling
Only grey
Only thunderbolts and lightning to change my faith
Into something lesser
I only feel every drop
Because there is no sky at night
I'm only me alone
And you alone

The rain will always put me under

I'm learning how to see
Rainbows in the dark
In the midst of what I call loss
There is something gained

I just have to figure out what it is

And maybe this is all
Maybe something more
In the middle of an ocean
My feet upon the ground

I'm learning how to see
The particle and the wave
What it always was
And what it can be

I just have to figure out what it is

I knows it's raining where you are
Foggy London streets
I know
There's a storm inside of you
Some kind of beautiful flood
That makes us want to swim

I know you

I love it's raining where you are
Sullen raindrops assault the River Thames
I love
There's a song inside of you
That I sing
We sing together
We dance in the rain

I love you

I am the rain where you are
I see as the London Eye the  sky above Big Ben
I am
The seed I planted in a heart
Of love and hope
Through your lips a flower blooms

I am you

I'm one of very few people I know
Who enjoys a rainy day
But my least favorite night
Is one where I can't see the stars

And these clouds
They cover over everything

I wouldn't even be able to tell you the moon is new

I want to fall in love
With a rainy day woman

A mind racing
Always
One million miles per hour
Rapid fire
And as a poet
So many things to say
All in a moment
How can I be sure
Which bullet hits the target?

And as a lover?
A thousand times I miss
But I will shoot again
Words to say
I feel this way
Let me always feel the same
And I'll shoot again

These symbols I have found
On paper laying down
Unspokenly loud
A tribute to raw sound
Its just a feeling going round
Come back around

Fly without wings
And fall from the sky
Swim without fins
And drown in the sea
Burn without flame
And become only ash
Dream without hope
And suffer nightmares

These meanings I can see
Only in imaginings
This beautiful ugly
A tribute to raw sound
Its just something to believe
A song to sing

I have nothing to say
But I'll say it anyway
Only in hopes
That you will hear me
I have no color
A black and white sketch
Without meaning
Full of feeling

I don't know what is real
Anymore

Says the ocean
Says the shore
Says me drowning
On the ocean floor
The tides were always rising
And the islands slowly sinking

I don't have much to say
So I'll invent a new excuse
To reach out
And try to touch you
I have no breath
Its only death
Permeating my bones
Still I live on

I don't care what is real
Anymore

Says the demon
Says the darkness
Says the Angel
Trying to save me
The love was always real
When its nothing I could feel

This is the real world
So,
Should I give up my dreams?

I guess ones reasons
Can't always be reasonable
Just remember
When the day hasn't been your friend
It has been your teacher

I would say I'm a rebel without a cause
Because my cause keeps changing
But if you dig deeper you'll find the root
The planted seed
The meaning
My cause:
Find defined societal norms
And defy them

Somehow even in death my spirit lingers
My tremulous spirit as the tassles on a purple curtain
My dreams which consume me are airy thoughts of substance
Pulled in by hungry fingers and engraved upon the stone
Once I was water
But I died that past life as something to make you drown
Next I was evaporation
The wetness that I left exposed to brilliant suns
Then I became the clouds
Your eyes are skies and I pass them in different forms
Last I became the rain
And as I fall from uncertainty your skin feels all of me
I cover every inch of you
I am the red dress that you wear
Still, bones are bones
And bones are brittle
They live by magnificent half-lifes in our world
And then fall into the ever expanding ground
Its not a meaning
Its just the feeling going around
Round as the circle I try to draw
An inexplicable bridge to cross the ocean
An impossible feat of engineering and imagination
And always in all ways leading me
My feet
My staunch and heavy heart
My hair meant to be one of the first sights of your morning
My skin, and sin, and my repentance
My liberation, my salvation
The way no one else can touch me
No one else can save me
And no lover ever lived
Could wear the red dress the way you do

This is the desert
Jackals and vultures with hungry eyes
Are watching
Setting their sight upon your skin
They want you to die
They feed on the promise of your demise
And salivate
At the dryness of your mouth
This is the desert
Endless miles of sand and angry sun
Attacking
As all you feel is heat with no relief
They want you to die
Your body parched falling back to scorched earth
And forsaken hope
A soul dying of thirst

Build a well
Don't let the scavengers have a chance
To taste your meat
Don't die
Strung out from dehydration
As simple lips are licked by evil tongues
Longing claws
And crushing jaws
Build a well
And you will find water
The lord has granted
Rehoboth

Dragons on a wing
Mid-afternoon
Purple and yellow blood
In empty fields

Release me
These chains that bind me in
Bog me down
And hold me back

Release

Dragons in the deep
And waiting
Dragons in the sky
That soar too high

And me
Relief
Coils serpentine
With own belief

Release

The last of dragons slain
By hateful menace
Seek fame and regard
Reward of gold

Release
Release me
From these tedious schemes
And this blood

Someday my hands will hold different blue
I was already lost
I was always untrue
The sky painted eyes and the temporal fugue
The things that they saw
The way that they knew

Don't be a star away from my sight
Once no direction
No reason to fight
The scars that she wore and feathers she bore
The things that were real
The things I could feel

And the sky above me can change
Will this remain?
And the sky
The stars guide me home
And the sky above me can change
And the sky
The stars guide me home
Will this remain?

I only ever fear the morning never comes
I was always in darkness

I find music in the shade
Dulcet notes and summer breeze
The flowers in bloom
The scent of a love in daylight
I meditate on the meaning
All my hope
My dream,
I haven't felt peace in a long time
Forever and the darkest night
The moon behind the clouds
The fear of a shadow lurking
All my ends
My past,
On this day
I find what god meant
When he sent his angels
To blow the trumpets
I find what I lost
When I haven't felt peace in a long time
Yet I find release
I see tomorrow
I see tomorrow
Through the darkest night
I find belief
I find there is love
Inside myself

I looked to her to be an empty city
empty houses empty roads
ghost haunt the royal palace
in the garden no flowers grow
I looked to her to be
I looked to her and saw an angel
a radiant creature come to me
who blessed the fields and rivers
In my heart a revery
I looked to her and saw

my only best chance to make right now last forever
and I don't
no, I won't have to worry any more
I'll be with her
she with me
I won't have to worry anymore

I looked to her to be awakened
eyes reaching deeper shades
both the stars they held
universes in my head
I looked to her to be
I looked to her and saw it all
and took it and cherished it
held it close to my heart
learned it and loved it
I look to her and saw

no, i won't have to worry anymore