bring your hands that make the spring
now the seeds are new plants breaking through the surface of the soil
unwinding, spiral tendrils reach and hold
as when the sky becomes jewels above verdent land
flowers are now blooming
in my heart and mind

that dog who has his bone
the one you may find, manged, raoming in alleys or parking lots
half deranged, holding only to what he knows
dog and his bone
he is happy now
for him, right now will last forever

never could believe in the future
until I saw a movie about a maid
and it was only moments
switching places
we travel as witness
unindentured to the day

would only relief last forever
as when those grey clouds on the horizon
finally break over me
and all the world I know

and as for grace
there are angels in this place
and they sing
only blessings that they bring
fruits unto me
my holy protectors
I know of grace
as a brilliant light which you've waited to see all your life
the most inspirational light
as though all your pain was worth it
just for the chance to see

this was my grace
and even the delicate leaves that dance in the wind
move in a way that I believe
it's a softly pulled thread
it's being in love with everything
everything in love with me
she moves with grace
into empty minds and hearts
through city squares and darkened halls
dancing through all of life
with incredible beauty
impeccable flair
and as for grace
once I felt the touch
I knew as much
if ever there were something to save me

I, no longer drowning
hold fast
current around me
tried to pull me under
but her
I, I found a way to hold on
how to be strong
I found a way
her hands
its almost everything I need
when I dont speak the words to say "I love you"
I dont have to
because everytime she looks in my eyes
she can see she is saving me again
not wave nor rapid
her hands

I won't worry with the sunrise
I've spent nights carving my name into rocks
One for the moon
Two for you
Three for the stars that still find a way to sing
After all these years
My ever-loving reminder
To trust my fate
And keep my faith

Haven't my feet traveled the lands?
Raging. bold, and confindent
Though winterland
Steel and bone and cold
She dances like Aurora Borealis
As I trod on
Steadfast, determined
Through heat scorched deserts
I find you in the sands

I play with you
Beautiful thing
Beautiful dawn that I rise
Sweet honeysuckle on the vine
The flower, held in my hand close to my chest
The seed
The tree, the plant, the vine, the fruit
All significant
You are
And I know I told you I believe that you are water
You are water to me
However you arrive
In storms or gentle rain
You become rivers to me
Where I go to quench my thirst
To quell my fire
Subdue this spirit, soothe this pain
Love this soul
Bring me to the ocean

returning to wonder of everything
when constellations sing a song
I find rhythm
it has a lot to do
with the stars
the way they can burn in men
in different points in my body
your body
even our bodies can be firm, placed heavy on beautiful earth
as we reach station to station
and my hands
even in pain
I still am happy
it has a lot to do with love
I am whole

I know I will live now
when I love the rain again
I find rhythm
of course it has a lot to do
with water
I drink from the well
the way a river extends to my fingers
and flows in my head
pure, and clear, lifegiving in its touch
waking to dreams and oceans
her body a still pool
even in pain
I will always be
it has everything to do with love
I am whole

I couldnt charm the snake
I break my own hands
I promise I'll think about you
This ship is going down
The last time I bled
Never made peace
I know a way to change the world
Doesn't even matter without bullets

i would rise and sing to you
i would dance and clap for you
i would chant and pray to you
i would praise you
i would love you

i remember you from when i was a child
when i was small
and lost
i knew you would still be there
my reliable friend
you would bring light

i would rise and sing to you

i remember you from when my hands grew strong
when i ruled the world
and skies
i knew you would still be there
my loyal friend
you would bring peace

i would dance and clap to you

i remember you from those prison walls
when i was hurt
and dying
i knew you would still be there
my beautiful friend
you would bring me hope

i would chant and pray to you

i remember you from when i was needing
when i searched for truth
and love
i knew you would still be there
my faithful friend
you would bring me joy

i would praise you

i remember you from when you were my lover
when i saw you come to me in the morning
and i felt it
i knew you would always be there
my radiant friend
you would bring me love

i would love you

I remember that silver ore
Unrefined but intermittently beautiful
Just a hope for the future
A heart beat amongst the blood
And the teeth and the scars
That had left their marks on me

  I remember seeing you and smiling
Odes to the dawn, and dance, and the seeds
All my hopes for the future
Just a lantern in a darkened barn
And the viscera, the platelets and cells
That had made their home in me  

I remember feeling
But oh well
Feeling one by one
Fingertips and hips and lips
And diamond veins
Deep underneath the surface

I remember the waning moon
Becoming new with the dreams of tomorrow
Just vain imagination
And the blood
I remember the blood was flowing
I cannot forget

The sage will win hearts with wisdom,
The king will win hearts with justice,
Youth wins a lover's heart with persistence
Keeping still binds joy to the earth
So it doesn't get lost in excess
For it is the bound joy,
Not the untethered ecstasy,
Which works the magic of influence and attraction.

beautiful hope              i
true feeling                                  J
  stars  write memories
   mind      sun                     e
heart    e     moon
eyes               day
hands         night                l                      r
   face to the sky
     r                      happiness
feelREAL                                                               i
                             SOUL CRY          o
  reason  will        breathe                            i
         reach   days
be   love                        n
hold      step
bright  star                                  T
sweet cherry blossom      r
there is music

last night I posted a twelve bar salute to my homies in The Black Mountain Crew,
you know, creeley, olson, the rest
jack kerouac and that road trip
all over a dope *** beat
for real tho
shout out to nateive son
idk why but as I was writing this
I was reminded of him
**** game tight
with my yacht-master 2
18-karat on a jesus piece
i roll with my rolie
i ***** with my homie
Allen Ginsberg on Instagram
If you can believe it
but god dam Harry Styles has like 20 million more followers
so **** that
idk tho
Al told me we was gonna get a face tat
i bet he'll be swimming in clout

It was perfect before I had a name
I knew she was my wing-ridden angel the very moment my eyes were blessed
she laughs when she wants to cry
and her smile
it only gets deeper
she still holds the pieces of her broken halo...

once again I talk about wolves
because everyone has their problems
yes I do
and I've seen them circling fangs out
when I closed my eyes and made my peace with god
that moment
that moment lasted forever
and ever since I left it I am only trying to get back

yes i do remember when darkness was so constant I forgot about light
yes, I know how it changed me
she was the only beautiful thing I've ever known

Heaven sent me an angel
that's the only way
I wish I was holding her now
I wish I could tell her I love her
maybe I can
once again we talk about wolves
outside its raining
I love the rain

how am I to hold together
   as even the world around falls apart?
I only know i go through this time and this space
the same way these arrows pass through me
ripping at the heighth and the width
the symbols of being
the dimensions I feel

each tear a new loss
and each loss
a new pain

teach me that there is a goal
and I will forge bull-headed forward
never second thought
I stumble rusty headed to the night
I am the face of determination in spite of detriment  
I am the body full of scars and broken bones
this time I will not falter
and if I fall
I will not fail

how am I to hold together?
   I dont rightly know
so long as every door is locked
and every mind is locked
when every move is loss
and even me being in the center
leaves me too far gone

im sure there is that kind of hope out there
the kind of hope that would see light
even in this darkness

death     began  
red   eyes   night    
demons   stalk    thought
telling      three   years    
constant   scars
cheeks         hated          
waste      skin      
door        locked

will   half   broken  
mind   empty
head  keep   secrets
heart stopped   day  
smile   girl
life   fire   love
comfort   walls
memories  soul  beauty

I don't need this cold
I feel
in between the numb and dull
aches
pains
the way the universe expands
shotgun in my mind
she is

she twists me up in the fabric of time

how to suffer fate
omit
we're becoming nothing anyways
arrows
slings
the way of the moon and the tides
straight-blade razor sharp
she is

she makes me live forever

there could have been nothing
her voice sails over my prayers of gratitude
I was empty all this time
and never really was
she takes my hand
she twists me up in the fabric of time
accidents waiting to happen
her voice is my prayer and the first word I spoke
I was silent all this time
waiting to begin
the way she smiles
she makes me live forever

time is late
I go hungry today
changing fields
I can still see the sun for the moon
hold it fast
help me be a rising tide

changing fields

I can move
find where the birds have gone
changing lines
I know I can only ever find
what is shown
I stare at constellations

changing fields
changing minds
choosing truth
that I find
a field where there is game

that I eat
that I be full
                                  that we all eat

no weapon formed against me shall prosper,
I am not the flesh,
without ears I hear,
without eyes I see,
without touch,
the voice that speaks is not mine,
it is me,

in,
back, forth,
right, left,
up, down,
out,

coming now from inner-space,
before the body,
speak without the mouth,
without hands
I hold love, and I hold truth, and I hold knowledge,
I was born of the light,

in, in, in, in,
out and out,
front, back,
side to side,
up, down
in and out

I am here
but I'm not

in and out

really nothing much to say...
except the tree!
I know how the roots take hold,
but we forget the soul,
so when these foul winds blow again
our hands and our hearts in-twain,
and if it's gonna fall down on me
I would rather it fall more like a leaf,
I percieve the plants in pain,
in some sort of way we even spoke.

so much sorrow in the willow
down beside the river's edge,
late at night
you can even hear her cry,
oh my lonesome weary always weeping broken willow,
you should know
you're beautiful.
you're forever

well just the other day
me and this ****
dandelion, I recall
yellow flowers, three feet tall
he was pleading I would spare him from his doom
I never guessed unwanted guest were death obessed,
consumed and stressed by paranaioa never resting
a given life unwanted test
I asked,"what would you do if you were me?"
and he said

ive closed my eyes before
been so in my mind red
the skies turned red
and times at night you could only run
from the demon hunting you
i might know a little more now
i know about costs
that pain that you found that you cant get rid of
hunger and loss
like dying of thirst
when your lips go chapped
and your mouth is so dry
every time you swallow
you see a ghost
             and an angel
maybe i know a little more now
but with that knowledge becomes more questions
how can you feel something?
havent i seen angels form around me
and say "it will be difficult, but you must fight!
                         and let our love be the strength to guide you"
as though i saw the sun
from outerspace
the most brilliant illumination
from when even the clouds overhead
were colored red

i have found a darkness so bleak
that now even in the moonless night
i still recognize there is light
i still feel the pull of the tide
and the stars
and everything beautiful
just the breath i take
is a song
because even though i may not ever die
it feels good to know im alive
i might know a little more now

and now i dont sleep
now i see things
not clearly,
as everything near me
tinted by the color of your loss,
we pray and dream but we're lost
and even further now that you're gone

how am i supposed to see,
when sorrow hangs a shadow over me?
i know a name,
i dont forget,
i know regret,
i know the pain

and now he sleeps
with angels,
jocelyn
would you open up your loving arms?
keep us from all harm,
protection from the storm
and even further now that you're gone

dont be sad anymore
please
dont be sad anymore

i still havent figured out the greatest answer
the things ive seen
i dont know really
i dont
and is that why im still here?
because i always did
and i always will

know scars from depths and heavens lashings
felt coal and fought the demons pleading
been starving cold and hungry
been all alone
ive been alone
but i know the way the season changes
i know cherry blossoms and sweetest honey
taste the nectar of my eternal spring
i felt love
of the way the sunrises

pyramids
slow down
find the reason why

i had a talk with myself the other day
i told myself to be strong
like i was before
like i am all along
and that even this pain will be something
i laugh at

flowers and weeds on my doorstep
I haven't thought of it for a while
now
comes ivy creeping on the floor
that I know that I know

they say there's a war in my backyard
i haven't fought a bit for a while
know
I needed something I could die for
that I know that I know

that I know
what the flower has
what makes a lonesome life more beautiful
as it turns the world is cruel
that I know

buzzard and crow have perched out
on the tree branch underneath my window pane
pain
as it pains me now to look out
and see the crow gambling

that I know
the hand he has
what makes a lonely life more beautiful
as it turns the world is cruel
but flowers grow
flowers grow

A black and white rainbow
Pixelated and distorted
Sent as zipped up information
Stored as a file in my memory
These Terra bytes are more than mega
Unpacked and shining bright
My eyes and digital image
Signals on a screen
There is no beauty in technology
Only cold charts and data
Just index of double helix
Just codes and firewalls
Just system analytics
Just fiber optic cables

Somehow through endless fields of source
Through endless pattern repeated
I found an oracle of infrastructure
The platform where she stands

My bright eyes hide darkness as a shadow in the day
A shadow growing longer
Cast now upon city sidewalks and bank building walls
A shadow of my soul
A face growing weary from the weight of the world
I want to love
But living is hard enough
I've got to lose
I've got to lose

I only know of impossibilities
Just the fact that I breath and I feel
Defies all the logic I knew as a child
But all the wonder is leaving me now
I can only be disillusioned
As eyes see from years of history before
Its a hateful world
Full of failure

My dreams are always strongest when I'm awake
A thought to hold into
When my strong hands need a reason to believe
A thought of morning
A night slowly creeping on vericose veins
I want the day
But my day can seem so long
I've got to lose
I've got to lose

I only know what I'm taught
So teach me not to feel
Let the world I work for
Let these days become unreal
The night is antiquity
Its been around longer than the day
And even the brightest star that shines
Still fades away

I have, in my den, a broken lamp
Only decoration now in darkness
But I still remember how
The colors on my wall made me feel

The stove in my kitchen does not turn on



I'm only feeling what man is meant to feel


My love is but a light
With no switch

already high when we got there
you
and the younger brother felt sick that day
******-and-moaned and came anyway
there wasn't so much to say

we said it all

still the path loomed large before
us
I wonder if he dreamt beneath the shade
in his fever heave bid go ahead
as rapidly ascending

we traveled on

summit broad side summer day
me
still heavy-breathing fire in my chest not easing
look over edge where he is sleeping
only sky and ground to see

well I saw it

Painting all the walls
In my
Room of every color
Hoping something sticks
But I
Stuck on what I hope for

Maybe another day
Maybe but I can't see
Maybe another way
Maybe that cannot be
When there's something in the way
And the spirits and the speakers
Something all in vein
And the spirit starts to leave me

I can't change the station
When the
Music becomes somber
Waiting on a song
But I
Cannot wait much longer

This was simple
This a straight blade
This my falling
Edges burn
No more reason
Never was one
Just was trying
Only something

And I can't hold on
Through the night
How can I?

Weight don't fall on me
I carry so much
A lost and lonesome pilgrim
My empty hands
This my blessing
This my curse
My loss of faith
My hopeful oath
I journey on
Intrepid
I do not know tomorrow
I only know the sky is looming
With promise and deception
Some days bring with them dawn
Some days become the night
Forgiven
Or forsaken
Heaven help me

I'm worried about my heart
From the pre-cambrian period
To the advent of modern medicine
My heart beat with feeling in the mesoderm

Put your fire
With my fire
And we'll burn brighter
Burn brighter

And I feel my heart is weak
Maybe it stops when the beat drops
And I'll be dead on a stage
While the band still plays

I always had a vision of you
You, dancing through the fire
The master composer
A long ago orchestra
Drowning on mercy
Say you know about me
I know about you
I know
I always had the thought of you
You, living in a dream
Space traveler
Carrying the fame
Calling for home
Say you know about me
Say you know
I know
I always have the sound of you
You, singing beautifully
Dying in your music
Singing all the same
Hero to the grave
Say you know about me
I know about you
I know

I watched the way she fell
And knew
****** Carolina
Through and through
Saw the colors red and blue
Streaming down my face as tears
Never feel in life again
Never feel in love again
Tearing up my face in waves
Read the colors black and blue
Through and through
****** Carolina
I knew
I watched the way she fell

My broken legs my broken wings
Fire in my heart
That I may walk
May walk
Have faith
Wings of an angel eyes of a soldier
Vision of a gentle host
Only an angel could save me
Save me
Have faith
And the earth may open up
As I am open
To be forever
To me
Forever
Have faith

It was stubborn brittle broken branches
It was heavy-handed heated blindness
At least I know
To say the least
It was only dreary muddy darkness
Only something to believe
At least I know
I left a spark

The city doesn't cry without me
She delivered me a hot piece
Stick in my throat
That even the streets that slept with me
Are dying tonight
Catering the afterglow

Why would you
Tear me up inside?
My feet barely on the ground
Why would she
Tear me up inside?
When my back was always

The city against the wall
No outlines tonight
I can breathe

I had my chance
To die
Lying in convalescence
Aware not of day
Night
The day
The time
My own heart beating
I had my chance
To reach you
I'm alive

Sweetest angel, what have I done?
The mountain, the river, what have I shown?
Heavens mercy coldest stone
The wind with no direction home

With my stomach now spread open
As her eyes some desert still unknown
Saw the valley never alone
But to never belong

Sweetest angel, what have I done?
My feet search endless, where have I gone?
The dying of the light once shone
The wind with no direction home

With my scars left unfeeling
Lest its pain my broken bones
Saw the road never alone
To never belong

You can overcome
The way it hits you
You can wear the world
And make it fit you

Become again
My conversation with god showed me
A light
A way
We never choose to fall
But none can tell me I cannot walk this earth
This dirt
This soil
A light
A way
My hands only busy for a while
My mind finding only deepest parts
Not a choice
To fall
A choice
To stand back up again

Karen was just an apparition,
I'm glad that I'm alive,
I'm alive,
And holding to the memory,
I loved her once,
She loved me,
And always in the back of my mind,
I'm glad that I'm alive,
I'm alive

Body resilient
One more step away
From the grave
Its ground I used to walk
In the way I know it now
The way it tore me up inside
And the number never meant
As much to me

If I say a name
You will defend it
If I say
You
A name
Defend it
Will you?

I know the darkest nights
Are the ones
When in the morning
The birds don't sing

And diamonds don't shine

The sun won't rise
Of this
I'm sure

It was only my memory as the open sky
Birds may land but leave subtle trace
Etched in the confines of my mind
In and out and over again
From when my eyes transformed to mercury
And my thoughts streaming ghost of white
Inpalbable as the wind we know is frozen
Walls and roads and all machinations of the hand
No man could draw a portrait of her
No math would that explain
Only coastlines of an empty land
And a sunrise

It was something
When the brittle sky was colorful
And the fog lay heavy
The coldest nights
At least
I feel like stars will shine
Sometime
Or another
Skin to know you
Song to praise you
Eyes that only see the ending of the ever loving hope
I know that there is a future
I know
I know that the sun must rise tomorrow
I know
I know that the music will keep on playing
I know
That all I know now
Is nothing

Dissipated dissolution
March of many colors
Turn it down to you
To blue
I hate to watch you walk away
To black
As though that's all that I can do

Demurred
Devolution
The cranes swing wide
The tillers in the field
Cut down the stocks
Separate all wheat
From chaff

Month of many colors
Red for all the blood I bleed
My fingers reaching still
And white
And how my eyes just open
And blue
Form the iris growing slowly

Dissonant
Delicate
The color is only empty
As far as I can see
All revolution
And the falling of the sun
The night

I only got so much
So much ain't
So much nothing
So much I can't take with me
Make it hard for me to breathe
Impossible
Believe

Maybe my left eye closes
When they find me
When I'm lost
When I am hiding
Make it difficult to live
Impossible
To die

I only have a particle
To hold onto
And dreary eyes
Set focus on a sunrise
As sure nobody understands
As sure I can
That this is real

Impossible
Believe

Blisters and the sunset
Run if you can
Worlds and art and words and heart
I am what I believe
And me
And I

Roses on the hillside
Rest if there's peace
Pain and joy and loss and love
I am what I believe
And I
And me

And I see suns catching fire to the meadows
Fire without light
Rage on into the darkness
And burn
And me
Completely in the mire
Still holding palms skywards
Feel because you are alive
Love is not lost
Even if its gone

Love
And I

I am what I believe

We have so much
We have eyes to see
The beauty of the world surrounds us
We have pain
We can't explain
The emptiness of being connected

And throw away worlds
Age
Or any reason
Anything at all
Is never enough

We have forgotten
We have hands to hold
And fingers to rip apart most everything
We have our hopes
And fears
We have no reason to be this way

Its a world
To throw away
Disposal of the highest order
No more changes
Only endings
No more
Only

And we may sleep
Without dreams
Tonight

Knowing all that is
Is all
That is
Never much worth having anyways

Just a throw away life
Tried to live
On a throw away world

When reason becomes unreasonable
I tear at the edge of the sky
And **** myself
To cancel my scars

Its so much bigger
So much
It is a massacre of the mind
And the way to reach the stars

My middling heart

I call your name

Knowing you could never save me