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 Jun 2013 Toni Seychelle
Vagabond
When dreams don't conceive wonderful things
I wonder if slumber was meant for the dreamer....

Certainly it must, for the mind it is lust                            

To fall asleep peacefully, I meditate, if I don't, I palpitate

A racing mind, pacing to find thoughts that rewind    
Through my pillow, I hear my heart beat                
The cold seeps through my sheets, will I sleep?

I try to think of unicorns, and angel horns    
Fanciful things to help me dream                                      
But faeries pinch me back to realities                                            

It is dark and reality is impudently stark
The wind seems to send voices that blend in noises
Their urgency is no emergency, for reality has no consistency

Nothing is real; this concept is my mind set
the humans that fear this, don't feel the bliss
of freedom, freedom of the mind

it is this kind, that makes us shine.
A.S.K.
 May 2013 Toni Seychelle
JM
Soil, mulch and flora.
Odors of spring on bodies.
Peonies ripen.
 Apr 2013 Toni Seychelle
JM
Filthy
 Apr 2013 Toni Seychelle
JM
and *****, slimy and rotten
to the core.
The Id rules here
so ******* and fighting
at playtime now means
****** and killing
for breakfast.
I had feelings once
when the world was bright
and what the fists didn't beat out of me,
the women devoured.
I would give anything
to just be the mighty
sycamore guarding
the park.
Anything to not be this, now.
No lilies in my eyes
since you left me,
like they all do.
No amber
or candles
or soft kisses on
wet thighs.
Nothing but filth
and the familiar stench of
being alone and unwanted
here.
Filth and refuse,
remnants of earlier tortures,
limbs and guts,
decaying art of us
stinking up the place.
It's a sunny day here but
the shadow of our rot
weighs heavy.
 Apr 2013 Toni Seychelle
JM
42 since I started to breathe rotting leaves under a November blizzard.
34 since I entered this body that day on the porch.
32 since I understood violence to be an accepted
part of life.

So many years I have carried this burden and I am tired, so tired.

So many sad Novembers.

But it's April now and 29 since I tasted a woman's mouth. 26 since I discovered how it felt to be inside another human, while completely inside myself.

It's April now and I crave the pale round goblets of milky skin these young flowers offer.
New rituals indeed smolder as centuries unfold.

It's only been 12 since I knew I was part of God
and 7 since I started hating us for being so close.

It was last March since I lost faith in you and I haven't stopped breathing shadows.
I am so tired, dearest.
What must I do?
It's April now, the walnut tree is black against the streetlight; the sycamores line the empty boulevard and I can smell the ghosts in the park.

These milky skies and milky thighs burn in
my skull.  January has lost her way
again as everyone forgets about the poets.
It's the poets that get them through a grey December.
We all share the same air, we all breathe
each other.
There is a lone willow tree, in the cradle of the park, bearing your divine name, which can be heard whispered by the ghosts who wander
on this lonely reservoir.

I am pining for dried tea bags and empty dresses as long summer nights bring insects and revelations.
I am your stone gargoyle.
If hell is engulfed in fire
as bright as the sun,
And heaven is lit
by a divine light,
Then I shall die with sunglasses.
 Apr 2013 Toni Seychelle
JM
One room away is a woman
who wants me to **** her.
She is beautiful, intelligent, and drunk.

I am ugly, intelligent, and sober.

Even though my highest and best
tells me to walk away with a smile,
my core screams for a ruining.

One room away is a drunk, *****,
dripping work of art who is also
very, very lucky.

Charles tells me to listen to
my **** and Pablo whispers a reminder
to remember the smell
of early morning wheat
and your eyelashes
while Walt and I gaze at the stars
and think of death.

I smile to myself,
soaking in the after glow
of vanilla chai, good ****,
and dead poets.

One room away is a woman
who's fate was in my sadistic hands.
Two rooms away is a twelve year old
who is dreaming of flag football
and Vans and getting to
level 37 of Skyrim
and one day,
after he wakes up
and after we have our
toaster strudel,
and somewhere in between
me stopping for coffee
and dropping him off,
I'll remind him
that good ***** is everywhere
so take your time and do it right
and when you just don't want to
look at their face,
make some tea,
catch a buzz,
and read some poetry.
Ever wonder whats behind you...?
That scratch, that itch, that feeling that tells you there is more?
That there is something we're missing?
The emotion that makes us push towards something we know we should be doing?
We never know what it is, but it is always there, in every human being.
Is it the "I need more."?
Is it soul?
I could never tell, and I will never know.
Just move for it, wish for it, strive for it, try for it, drive toward it.
GO.
I used to spend my days
walking downtown
with a girl I knew
she always had a frown
So I ran away, she's still looking for me
but I'm fine

Now I spend my days
working off my ***
so I can get that pay
and not come in last
I try to catch her eye, but she's not looking
for me and
I'm fine

I find myself falling silently down
these days
I guess I have to keep myself sane
so I say
I'm fine.
© Daniel Magner 2013

Another song from before my hiatus.
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