It's no surprise or mystery
I've checked you out, like a book...about history

Those eyes, they repeat themselves
Just like stocking books on the shelves

That look I've seen it before
Like a late night knock as if my window were a door

That smile though was nothing I've seen before
Like a drug, I had to have more

Feeding your brain to produce a smile
Half the time it was quite the trial but no error

I wanted nothing more than to see you happy
But even more to just have you look at me

I've held my hand out to you too many times before
That smile repeating itself like everything I've seen
No more...

I'm just trying to fit in so I don't fall off
No one to catch me only to toss me around
It's feels good for a bit, till it turns into spite
Sorry and sadness all inside with a smile to sit upon my face
My thoughts race not to finish but to collect themselves
Taking turns and burning out
These thoughts I've been having need to take a different route
So why fit in anymore?
Don't fit in just fit
The world is our puzzle we're just trying to fill it

I'm so high it gets me off
Clouded judgement, instant gratification
No worries no troubles just eyes glazed over looking like bubbles
Clear as glass my choices too
From your hand to mine yea from mine to you
Spit fire back and forth
The fun only gets louder from here
Imagination takes over words become useless
Ride the sounds, let them take you away
Forever  lost in this high today

I'm starting to get out of my own way
No more me versus me
With that advantage how could I lose?
It seems like I can never choose
With all these forks I seem to lose direction
Until I can find the road that continues on

Chasing down a dream is not always what it seems
A boulevard of broken in a world made of glass
Some things in life weren't made to last

The things that are you should hold on to for sure
The world ain't what it use to be anymore
Broken homes to broken bones hearts and such never left alone

We've all been through hell and back it's no place to be
A world we never talk about and refuse to admit what we see
Heaven on Earth isn't sounding so bad

They say spread your wings and fly away but some don't go as far
Struggling in life not with money but the simple crutch a car
No wheels to spin we're all sticks in the mud

Seek inspiration and refuge from yourself
Take the time to read the books on the shelf
You can see the world through others eyes
Just to see that the world is just one big clever disguise

It's not all bad, don't be sad, be happy with the fond memories you've had
One day you'll miss it
But what's the point of reminiscing while you're still in it?

On the floor covered in filth as she stoop over the mutilated mess she caused. Nothing to do but run for safety. " It's too late, no one can save me. Saving me was no easy task." But it is when you wear 15 other masks, right? Suddenly she heard a shriek not very far next thing she knew she was in a car with a man. she had never seen him before. He said "How much you little *****!" As she tried to say she wanted a kiss she realized today she had a lisp. The man slowly reached for her clothes. She leaned over and broke his nose, and that's when things got out of control. The man said "The **** did you do that for?" she didn't think she just pushed him out the door. His body lays on the highway all ****** and graphic, slowly being shredded by on coming traffic. Scared and alone no idea what to do. A life of misery lies ahead said mask number two. Misery loves company isn't  this fun? We're just getting started said mask number one.

In my mind, you're the shadow in the background
Always lurking around seeing what it is that makes me tick
Just waiting for the right moment to set me off
Burning a hole through my skull like hot sand on bare feet
Setting up shop and selling my secrets
For your own personal amusement, despite our status
Psychedelic, without a trip
This reality feels less than real, flawed; overrated
But I still feel, and you forget that
I settle for less than my best because of you
Be happy, just know now I won't be around
All these years stepped all over, demeaned
I still ask, don't you want what I want?
Yes, I still have a heart, what's left of it

I'm mislead to where I want to be
Why are you so afraid to accept me?
You fear the future and I hate the past
I can't catch a break if you keep telling me it will never last
I wait and wait on your prolonged replies
I run my hand...down your face, was this fate?
Time of death 9:58...

******* dysfunction and ingest my rage
Feel my mind's mosh pit as I dive off the stage
Smell the lingering presence of my pasts rage
See the remnants of what use to be
Hear what I almost said that it was you that I L O V E'd

Come closer you know I could whisper in your ear
Late night conversations and sweet nothings
I'll say it all to keep you near

Please rest your tired soul, in the future there are more rounds to go
I could lie and tell you I'll share some things
But right now I've told you everything you could want to know

Keep that smile to a playful grin
I promise one day the door will be open
For you to knock I'll let you in

Just give me some time
Talk about the world no doubt
And ease the strain on your troubled mind

Sleepless nights into the dreary day
Tired mind but a smile on my face
Worth the to price I can safely say

We are all connected
What I just don't get is
No one is connecting

She is my want so much I need
Her eyes I'm locked anyone can see
You hypnotize me pendulum swing
My hearts in a fight like it entered the ring
But that's ok it's alright I've got plenty that you're going to like
All I'm asking is for a chance and s little respect
Instead I'm at the table with appetizers ready to pay the check

Watching her bud like the flower she always was
I enjoyed for myself because
No one else saw the beauty waiting to emerge
Now they all see a bouquet for the taking
Like a regular valentines day they all flock like seagulls
I stop in to water her every now and then
I should have used pesticides...

Short of a few letters but is the word; A
Canada came at us with that frenchy eh?
Looking around for the better days
No life of social but I'm getting paid
Joe dirt I'm on my David *****
It's funny but it's true give me the time of day
NB come at me I'm the best NA

I said I got years of experience in months what you think
A test of self control, she said I wasn't old enough to drink
But I'd do it anyhow drunk or not I want not you but us
Two people wanting  eachother wants almost earie
Inhibition all time high leave the excuses for "the next guy"

When you start-stop a thousand times
can't think straight or throw down a decent rhyme
Rage quit give up on the spot
It's easier than to finish?
Yea I think not.

Lost in translation
Perception of reality a mess
What seems right one day like the days reset
Unsaved data
Hours wasted
No money but time spent
Time waits for no man
Our hour glasses disappearing
The sands fade away in the waters of life
It gives but mostly takes
But make no mistake
Your life is only right twice a day

Are you trying to steal my soul tonight?
My surrender inevitable
In the eyes
Of reflections on my choices
Don't look in the mirror

Have you ever took th time to really know someone?
Know who thy really were? Not just by presence?
To talk to analyze to share the laughter
Take a chance maybe you could live happily ever after
It's too easy to push a weightless object called a relation-ship away but harder to have it come in closer
All aboard or all forgotten either way this ship is sailing
Come sail away with me, on these waves, our friendship to be

Like the rain drops when it comes to climbing the ladder
where my happiness awaits I keep on
Falling down, fallin' down

I look at you and reject myself, but for what?
The fact that I'm so easily attracted
and don't even know your name

What makes me turn my head at the first sign of beauty...
Nothing like being rejected by those you deem Gorgeous
Like the rain drops in the sky my self confidence keeps on
Falling down, fallin' down

Mind set on perfection and not completion
Ones heart wants to spread itself thin
Like a puzzle we yearn for the other pieces to our heart

I feel less than interesting, palms sweaty, and irrelevant
To any who have caught my eye
The suppression of my feelings continue
How am I suppose to get up when I keep
Falling down, fallin' down?

So much now that could have helped myself but now I choose to help others
Only those with experience know the struggle of late knowledge
To many now would be better then and then would be better now
If you could send words of wisdom to you past self what would you sound?
You could solve a thousand problems with one simple solution
I've  lived, I've learned, I've lost, and still have so much to gain

Time is fast forwarding and I don't think I can keep up. My soul is darkening just like the bags under my eyes. I'm exhausted in every way possible. I'm a traveler stagnant and stuck bouncing from person to person to reach my destination. They all tell me that they can't help me unless I can help myself. Till I met you...  hopeful speck, brighten up. It seems like you're my partner on this journey, a soul fused to mine. "A best friend is just part of yourself in another body."  Everyday we talk about new destinations when I can only think of my own. Why would a god do this to a lonely traveler? Why would a God open up new routes when I was so close to the end..so I abandoned you..to continue my own journey..It grew dark again. I lost the moon while staring at the the stars. The light at the end of the tunnel seems to be a hopeful speck in the distance I may never reach, but I keep walking.

to the teacher that held the key to my future
she saw the potential I had yet to discover
wither her skeleton key of education
she used it to unlock a power for me I would learn to use
not for good or evil just a place to start
to help make that change of heart
think about the world as your oyster
it starts out small but inside is
a world of illustrious wonder and possibilities to the teacher that held the key to my future
she saw the potential I had yet to discover
wither her skeleton key of education
she used it to unlock a power for me I would learn to use
not for good or evil just a place to start
to help make that change of heart
think about the world as your oyster
it starts out small but inside is
a world of illustrious wonder and possibilities

Pregame a few ounces no one will notice
It was a bit different when I sneaked that kiss
Wasn't for sure wasn't out of confusion
Just the truth in liquid for turned and fusion
It was all alright, a feeling in my chest
And it felt so tight, bumpin' bumpin'
A knock at my heart, someone found their way in
Come but don't make yourself at home
Because when you leave I know I'll feel alone
Stay a while spend the night
The beat of my fast pacing heart feels all alright

A taste too sweet to touch and on the teeth
A slow decay starts just beneath the surface
We knew we could get cavities
But the sugar...oh the sugar
A taste that can be replaced
But we love the familiar
The aches and pains that go with it
Are just chances taken
Knowing the outcome in the end a bitter separation
I should have flossed while I was younger

She's got that face you can't replace
An embrace to get me high and a smile to get me addicted
Conflicted with the memories of the good and bad
Times we've had shared and reminisced
It was just a kiss how did it all turn so sour
Relationship good to bad in under an hour
But our bad was all good
Nothing beats knowing we could
And would be so much more
If one of us wasn't such a....

Am I a friend, or someone you run to when you want to play pretend?
Am I a friend you treat like a doormat for your muddy boots to wipe so you can keep a clearer conscience to sleep at night?
I've cleaned up your act and that's a fact and since I moved on cant say I want you back
To all those no longer around it's been lit
You burned your bridges
Now there ain't no crossing it

I thought I was a poet and wanted to write
When that bordom hits you in the middle of he night
You would scribe yourself a poem until you got the feeling right
It just hits you, a barrage of words
The sound of my  voice reverbs
Words in a flurry from my head to my toes
This poet going might work out in time who knows

As you enter the realm of boredom a trigger is pulled
The hammer falls and you scurry in it's silence
Everything viable to suffice your wants that we always think are needs
Watch how quickly and how desperate your trials to appease this figment becomes
Pointless rage while you shut others out
Yet invite strangers to suggest a way to cure the symptoms
You become detached as a person with less than any friends
Because you choose to follow these stupid trends

As I read the words which turn to blurs I wonder
Why is it I'm up at night when I should slumber
Why can I hear the conversations in the rain
Each drop revealing everything even the mundane
Hiding what's behind the scenes it seems serene more like a dream but I scream
What is this reality that makes me lose my balance like no gravity
This weight unbearable barely 1 rep
But no pain no gain is that how it goes?
But we as humans never present our true feelings silly really
How a couple of words can save an eternity

An innocence not seen by these sinning eyes
A style, swagger if you will not appealed until I glanced
Never forgot the day my presence was overwhelmed
A sense of all things good in you, evil could do no harm
Like an angel from heaven
Sent to test me, or cast me away
Either way, I was being judged
Unsure what to say, I appeal to your sense of humor
A little dry for my taste, I got us both a drink
Religion, it is what may keep you sane
But for me, the lacking of it, making me unsteady
Testing me at every turn I could see it coming
How in this day and age a girl so sweet so pure, humming
Not a care in the world yet one for you remains in check
What you do is not for you but for the man, you sit and wait for his call and beck
You tempt me with purity, does that make you a sinner?
Even good things can be bad in the right light
But I would not accuse such a "******" with silly accusations and assumptions
I would only prove to fail the test, and he already knows it
Giving second, even more chances
I'll see you in the future

Hole in my heart
Not broken
Just falling apart

Every day I'm ripped to shreds
By the sound of the thoughts in my head

I don't tend to stress
I said tend, so please double check
To make sure my heart hasn't been ripped out of my chest

Some nights I'm a mess and I get to be
If you don't know where my head is check the directory
It's still there if my memory
Serves as good as my empathy
Generally, I don't talk about myself or my feelings
Most nights I spend in my head silently healing
Don't feel like any other soul is out there dealing
With the same issues I'm going through

Could this be true?
No one else in the world feels the ways you do?

That's silly let's get back to reality
To tell you why my hearts falling apart
This is the part
That comes straight from my heart
Here I'll start

To whom this may concern, check up on me and leave your comfort zone
There is someone out there that feels alone
that could benefit from you just hearing them out
A minute of your day might not **** you, but it might **** them
All this mayhem and disorder that's up in our minds
Are hard things to keep track of at times
So please be kind and rewind so we can come home

Back from those thoughts that held us for ransom
Times where we want to throw a tantrum
Sometimes we can't, then we phantom

I mean ghost, away from everything that makes us whole
Just to feel like we have even a little control
Of what goes on around us all the time
It's not possible so please give it a rest
Just say hi, or what's up every now and then
to try your best
Someone will appreciate you, should you put it to the test

If I had one wish I'd go back to the beginning none of this stealing kisses and mischievous sinning
  way back before I ever had feelings, for you now it's my problem, I'm dealing. I had it up to here with my emotions through the ceiling
you left a nasty sun burn and now I'm peeling. Your radiance overbearing and non concealing.
  I'm lost without you but I lack direction. I've spent too much time looking at my reflection. Hoping youd appear ever again was my misconception. I loved you in more ways then one, back when we were friends trying to have some fun.
I wont lie because I do miss you, the fact that I feel this way is not my issue.
Its that it came to an end so quick and abrupt cant you see I miss you, do you give a ****? Dejavu yes we meet again, another time another place for me to rewind yet another friend.

Throughout the years I've burned a few bridges
I never intended to go back
But more importantly
I didn't want them to follow

Biting the hand that feeds
Creating a stomach that bleeds
Offset by the wants and needs
Until insanity by definition succeeds

Woke up this morning with a thirst for you
A trip to the coffee shop will have to do
Large hot regular with the sugar piled
I made a joke and swear you smiled
A confidence boost from my beautiful barista
I told you my name and it's nice to meetcha
Small talk, plans, could lunch turn into dinner?
You're a lottery ticket that's got me feeling like a winner
You bring someone out that's just not me
To tell you the truth I don't even like coffee

I'll give you it all just love me
I'll hold the door just to get close to you
Do the dishes to watch you at ease
shave the beard for that gentle touch
Smooth caress a feeling I miss so much
Finish the laundry to get ***** again
Delete my life to attain our own
But when I'm around you, you spend all your time on a phone...

Could I be holding on to something deeper
Fishing with the wrong bait
I always knew emotions would be the end of me
Not the beginning but overtime its taken a toll
The smell of your hair doesn't phase me anymore

When the wind bellowed it hit me
not the wind but a whim
I went on it and was in search of the answers
Like a word search my minds scrambled with the right thoughts
The words just don't come out

Splashes of color, abstract, chaotic and bright,
Vivid expressions of thoughts in the night.
The words in my mind, they dance and they sway,
But like fleeting graffiti, they soon fade away.

The cans of my thoughts, they rattle and hiss,
A cacophony of dreams, sometimes hit or miss.
A fresh coat appears as I overthink,
A canvas of chaos, my thoughts interlink.

I'd see a shrink, but in a blink, I'm unsure,
On the brink of my mind, the thoughts obscure.
Lost in this sequence, I yearn for a guide,
For guidance and purpose to stem the tide.

Ambition, it flickers, like a candle's soft glow,
But in seeking the light, in its warmth, I'll grow.
To paint my own story, with colors bold and bright,
I'll find the path forward, through the canvas of night.

You make me crazy, is that crazy?
Each and everyday you make me smile and amaze me
I dream of the day I can call you my "baby"
Is that so much?
I never thought being happy meant you had to hide how you feel
Inner thoughts have kept me at bay you know it's real
Holding your hands with my eyes turning our gazes into smirks
Thinking about you, this could really work
I've never felt so alive I could hulk my shirt
And when I talk to you I find out how much I'm really worth

Loyalty is not easily bought, or can even be priced
Admiration doesn't come easily either
But if you think you're the king of the jungle
And you have the loyalty of a dog
Friends and accomplishments can be achieved with much more ease
For having somebody to lean on doesn't make you weak
You just admit that from time to time we all need a bit of help
Not relying on people to solve your problems
But having friends to help you resolve them
Pay no heed to ones confidence but to ones actions
For a time may come where every moment in your life become only reactions

I grabbed the sky and it moved me along
I was a cloud, I was free
Floating along the blue skies
Bringing  awe to a beautiful horizon
Until we kiss the sky again

Always wanted Her but she ran too fast
Doesn't matter id never last
Got some drive but no destination
Lost with a road map no transportation
Your hand in my headlights
As I drive away...