i have grown flowers out of the marrow of my bones
i have harbored seeds from the blood that flows
i have created skies from the pain in my eyes
and i do it all for you,
my wildflower

i drove down this road today
a road that’s tainted with your smile
your laugh
your eyes.
i drove until my eyes were blurry
and my lungs were aching.
even the trees sing your name,
throwing it around on a winter breeze.
you’re everything.
you’re everywhere.

i’m just a phase.
to you i am the moon
the gentle light that caresses your cheek in the darkness
the one that revolves around you.
but as the moon is known to do, i’m just a phase
a phase of your love i fight to earn
i’m slowly fading,
and you’re doing nothing to stop it.
i’m soon to be a new moon.

im searching for you
in the clouds
in the streets
in the breeze.
searching for a hand,
a laugh,
a whisper,
a song.
but youll only sing for her

i miss you just like a little kid,
a little kid with no sense of direction
no sense of new found love
no sense of the world around them.
i miss you like a sailor misses the ocean
lost without the sea
i miss you.
i miss you mom,
please love me
i need you

i refuse to believe you.
i refuse to believe that you have laid your hands upon someone elses skin.
i refuse to believe that the treads that touch your skin have also touched hers.
i refuse to believe that your pillow soft lips have made hers fall apart into a melting *** of love.
i refuse to believe that your gentle voice has cooed her to sleep.
i refuse to believe you, for if i did
i fear i would go mad

i have been eroded.    
slowly chipped away by the flood of others love.
years of words and tears stored in the layers of my skin.  
my erosion has exposed a side of me,
of sedimentary rock composited of dry heaving and silent cries.
my erosion isnt pretty, but people will admire it and study it
thinking it will reveal beauty.  
when in reality, it never will.

just the very though of you
has my legs spread
like an easel with a canvas
begging for art

till death do us part.





i guess it wasn’t  death that could undo us.

i find myself longing to remember the day you fell in love with me,
rather than the day you fell out of it.

oceans wash over me.
obliterating my sin,
purifying my soul,
making me clean.
they wash over me coming
one after the
other
after the
other.
washing away their hands,
their smile,
their voice.
washing away the peices of me that once belonged to them.
these oceans of mine will simply wash me away

you always called me angel
so maybe its my time to spread my wings and fly

I’ll be noble. Loyal. Valiant.
I’ll follow you around at your convenience.
I’ll keep my canines hidden.
I won’t snarl. I won’t bite. I won’t bark.
As long as you promise me that I can sleep on the foot of the bed rather than the floor.

all of this anger,
this rage,
this irrational irritation that continues to boil over,
was once love.

it was gentle,
and kind.
it did not bite or maul.
it did not bare its teeth with the intention of pain.
instead, with the intention of tenderness.

all of this rage,
was once warmth.

it was intimate,
and tender.
it did not bubble beneath the surface with an endless blaze.
instead, it flickered in soft wisps.

all of this irritation,
was once affection.

it was constant,
and reliable.
it did not swing with the might and fury of a rouge soldier.
instead, it stood fortified within its bounds.

all of this rage, was once love.
a love i had for you.

im not gonna do what you think im gonna do.
im not gonna say what you think im gonna say.
im not gonna yell like you think im gonna yell.
im gonna stay,
and say to you
ill always love you

i cracked a smile and told a joke
just to make you happy.
even though my heart was breaking
and my legs were weak.

i want to be ripped to pieces
shredded to oblivion
by your love.
love me dangerously,
slash my lungs
poke out my eyes
break my bones.
love me poisonously.

and you left,
after endless promises of staying.
that yet again, you broke.

i feel like im drifting
through the clouds searching for you.
for the heart you laid in you open palm
for the bright eyed smile.
searching, prodding, scratching.
looking.
for the person i so easily fell in love with

and to think i would never break my own heart.

i wish there was a key, for life of course.
that could take all your pain away,
erase you from humanity.
i wish there was a key for me to press,
to make you forget me.
i need a key,
an escape.

intertwine your heart with mine,
submerge yourself in the waters of my love.
allow this feeling to take you over, and bring you home to me.
i find the entanglement of ones love for eachother to be a breathtaking thing.
if only, the love you so delicately placed within her was shown to me.
so intertwine your heart with mine, so i can take your broken pieces and use them to make me whole for him again.

what can i do
when one half of me is torn from my side
separated from my being
walking along the halls without me by their side

oh my love,
i will bring you to the most beautiful of places and kiss you desperately so everything once beautiful will remind you of me.
i will adore you so tenderly itll feel as if youll never be loved again.
i will make you crawl back to me,
and the storm that is my heart

my hearts yours forever and always.
my love resides in your hands.
my heart will continue to beat for you.
and i’ll wait until your heart comes back home

breathe,
the world isnt out to get you.  
it will not swallow you into everlasting darkness if you take a break.
rest my love
remember to breathe

one day ill die
and the world will continue to turn
it will not halt
it will not stop
it will turn
so when i do
i hope you look to the sky
and know its alright

you left me surrounded.
surrounded by the lies you filled my pretty little head with.
surrounded by broken promises you swore to keep.
surrounded by the harsh words you played off as love.
i’m surrounded, yet i still apologized.
i still think you’re good..

i hope that the last hug you gave me
can continue to keep me warm for all these cold winter months to come
i fear, if not
i will freeze

what happened to us
what happend to the late night walks and the cookies made at 2 am
that happened to the stolen kisses and secrets whispered in the moon light
what happened to us
we are shells of people trying our hardest to love
what happened my love.. where did we go

my knees are bloodied
my eyes are sore
my throat is raw.
im tired of begging
pleading
allowing you to drag me along
just tell me what i am
what
am
i

what
am
i

i can tie a beautiful silk ribbon around your heart
mend our souls together with a diamond ring
kiss your lips with all the passion of roman warriors
bless you in the waters of athens
yet that still wont prove the undying love i have for you.

i always ask you why you treat me so good, and you always say the same thing.
"because im in love with you"
if youre in love with me why do you treat everyone else like that too..

god that sounded pathetic

im begging you
to pull me out of the fire
can you see me through the ashes and the smoke
come quickly
im burning up inside.

when i look at the trees i think of you,
how are you not reminded

all i know,
your heart is mended with mine.
your dna resides in the bottom of my stomach.
youre mine.
and all i know,
im yours.

the stars would be proud
to be a piece of someone like you

words get stuck in my throat
like fire waiting to be splashed out
this fire that roars within me
seeps out into my words, puts a sour hit on the tip of my tongue
this fire that rages within me
that sadly wont go out

i want to be the pretty girl you see on the back of a train.
with long golden hair, and emerald eyes.
with the seemingly softest pillow lips youve ever laid eyes on.
i want to be the pretty girl people on the street fall in love with,
with my image imprinted in the back of their minds while they fall asleep at night.
i want to be the pretty girl everyone dreams of.
i wanna be a pretty girl.

this is it my friends
the finale line of my book
as you flip through the pages, take in me
my soul
live for me
when i was to much of a coward to do it on my own.

its time for me to say goodbye
to spread my wings and fly far from this place.
ill graze the oceans
and whistle into canyons.
ill feel the flowers ruffle my feathers
and the breeze lift me higher than my wings can carry me.
its time for me to let go of this place,
ive been here long enough

Je t'adore.

Et je continuerai à t'aimer jusqu'à ce que la terre cesse de tourner et que les étoiles tombent de notre ciel

you promised me forever,
and all i got was a chapter in your book.