relentless things:

time
truth
love

you know how
there are
both
no words
and
infinite words
for
us

our existence
right now
makes me whole
makes me free

a love too big
to understand

a life too short
to embrace

my patience too thin
to wait

time taken
exploring the newness
of each other
turns into
settling into
the awe
and wonder
of us

reaching
for you

in focus
and out

your closeness
fleeting

hearts
bleeding

my
vanishing man

unfortunately
this vision
of my future

doesn't include you

closed eyes
my paradise

visions
come true

of

me
and
you

oh, you.

you.

i'll never be mad
at you.

how can i have
made this vow
that
(supposedly)
lasts a lifetime

yet

i had no idea
what i was
agreeing to

to wait
is an illusion

patience is
merely
self control

words
acquire meaning
with action

i am
choosing
every
day

i'll just be here
waiting
to give you
my love

we are wavering
daily
between love and hate

how can these things
transform
into one another
with such ease?

not sure
how much more
my heart can take

the anger
turned heavy

this morning
waves
of sadness

are drowning me

none of this
is real
until
you make it real

what would i do?

becomes

what will i do?

when does
an internal rebellion
become
an external one?

when does
bravery
overcome
fear?

when does
the truth of my heart
decide
the words in my mouth?

where
did you find
the strength
and
can you share it
with me?

i know
you see me

love me

trying to
figure out

why you
fear
me

this
immense love
burns only for you

is also
the reason why
i have to
say
goodbye

i'm afraid
i'm not worthy
of a wish
so big

sometimes
it seems easier
alone
but always
it feels better
with you

i accepted our reality
already
but
that doesn't make it
any easier
to get through the day

i guess you’re gone now
but you didn’t say goodbye
i guess i’ll move on now
but will always wonder why

what are you going to say
when
she finds out?

you don't want to say it
but i do

an expression of me, of us
words that carry feeling
depth
importance

words that sing
from my heart to yours

words
are
just
words

you aren't
here.

so

i don't
care.

at what point
do i stop believing
your words
and instead
accept
your actions
as the truth?

the words flow up
toward my mouth

my lips have never spoken them

but i've said them a thousand times

i wouldn't
dare
give you
my heart
again

your words
like music

your voice
is mute

my ears
yearn

you push me
to the heights
lift me
from the depths

beautiful you
how powerful you make me feel
how loved
and how special

you are
my entitlement
ownership
spread from my heart
connections
i cannot control
future
inevitable

you're like..
the opposite of love
in human form

i earned
my
independence

i will
protect this
at all costs

so when
you threaten this

freedom

you
no longer
exist
to
me

i hate you
for how you make me feel
and for
how you
don’t see me
at all

sometimes
when i look back to you
i am astonished
with how your eyes
meet mine
paralyze me
with this look
that words cannot describe

with every whispered word
every glance

you transform me

i am watching myself
bloom

i am
your flower

on your last day
the sun was shining
and big white clouds ran across the sky

someone held you tight
and told you, "i love you"
admired you
and cherished you

on your last day
all of your love poured out

you inspired
and you soared
you lived
and you died

your love remains
always

recently
you have been giving me
a look
that so deeply
resonates
and tells me
truly
that
i don't know you
anymore

your love
is my reset button

what does
your love look like?

i suspect
you don't
even know

but
don't you want to?

choices
building
contradictions
to
your
heart

you stopped
short of the line

that i desperately wanted
you to cross

i'll still
wait
a little longer

my three loves

you all indulge

my past
my present
and
my future

you each
fill
a different
piece of my heart

yet
you each
consume
all of
me

not the me
who
is no longer
me

i love you
all
equally