I am learning to let go
Of the things that i cannot keep between
the palms of my cold and wavering hands.

I am learning how to love the silence
That comes with the peace
I so desperately wanted.

But most of all,
I am learning how to breathe,
Freely, without the heavy pangs in my chest.
I am learning, slowly ,
That this is what it’s like to be free.

I am not a big fan of feeling emotions,
for i am the type to let it all sink and hope for the better,
like a child anxiously waiting for his wish to come true
as he watches the coin sink to the bottom of the well;
not knowing if tomorrow is the day it finally comes,
or whether fate will continue to drag it on for the rest of eternity.

This soul was set ablaze
By the fires
That were lit
By humans
Who made campfires
In the deepest parts
Of my sanctuary;
That they left unchecked,
And now all that’s left
Are ashes from trees
And a graveyard
Of what used to be
Me.

There are days
when im in love with my sadness,
the kind that just begs for relief;
and there are days
when im in love with pain,
the kind that runs deep.

If this is me until eternity,
If i am not more than what ails me,
If the monsters under my bed
won’t ever stop their haunting,
If the voices only keep getting louder,
If i keep on drowning in my thoughts forever,
If there is no rainbow; and if this rain
won’t ever stop falling,
Is it really a life worth living?

My dear child,
it’s the last call
so close the curtains
and let the people stand up
from their seats
as they leave the theatre.
My brave soldier,
the war you’ve so bravely fought
is nearing its end
so put the gun down
and take a breather;
home is only a few tears away.
My warrior,
these scars you’ve made
will stop hurting in a while,
you have the decision
to end it all
right in your very hands.

The cracks have been filled

with so much light that the ugliness inside

is exposed and out for the world to see;

and with so much water

that makes it harder for the vessel to re-surface,

until all it ever does is sink.