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  Jan 2015 Sarah Hartmann
A
My heart
Is a happy drunk
A little too open
A little too optimistic
It's over in the corner of the bar
Playing poker
Screaming at the top of it's lungs
I'M ALL IN
When it's never
To this day
Had a winning hand

My heart
Is a sad drunk
A little too lonely
A little too caught up in tears
It's over at the counter
Forcing the bartender to take its keys
Because it would rather not go home
Than go home alone again

My heart
Is a reckless drunk
A little too unbalanced
A little too impaired
It's over by the door
Making everyone nervous
A little too good at scaring people away
A little too far gone

Like you
A little too far gone
Turn your head
Shuffle away and pretend you don't notice
The breakdown of a heart
Too drunk on feelings
To know when to stop
  Jan 2015 Sarah Hartmann
MP
I think I loved you most the winter your heating was broken
And we’d stay inside all morning
Pretending to complain that we couldn’t get out of bed
Our clothes becoming little islands on the floor,
Ones that we could not quite find the courage to visit

Your hand stayed glued to my hip,
Your breath warming my shoulder
Like a long drag of whiskey
That kind that had a home so far away,
In a glass bottle on top of your refrigerator.
The one that would not be opened
Until that fateful day in February,
When everything went wrong

And on that unbearable night
When you joked that you’d freeze to death if I left you
There was a long silence
Like it might be true.

Now it’s warm enough
That I show too much skin when sitting in bars
And you avoid me like the plague,
Whispering in any girl’s ear that’s near to you
Every time you see me watching out of the corner of your eye

We should have stayed inside when the ice began to melt
Because I think
When those doors opened and we finally ventured outside
The world had changed,
And so had you and I.
And here we go....
Another endless day

While I watch everyone else being happy
Content
Alive.

I feel like I am stuck
Stuck in a never ending cycle of sadness
I was happy
Now I am depressed

What am I to do?
If I could let you go
If I wouldn't regret it for everyday of my life
If I didn't love you
All of that would be easy for me

I love too hard,
You are mine.
Not hers,
But you seem to go back whenever you please,
leaving me with false hope and a broken heart

You love me?
Then why
You know you can't keep both of us,
but you're happier with her..

I can't do this anymore,
I care too much
I love too much

Somedays I want to die
The heartache hurts too bad
I cry myself to sleep.

I just want you to want me
Like I do

But you've done it again...

— The End —