I feel like I am stumbling
Through a bad dream
With pieces of my mind
Scattered
All about
Searching desperately
To find them
It feels like a cruel joke
Someone hiding them
In a box
Under lock and key

Walking in The City
There is pain
There is sorrow
There is poverty
There is neglect
It is hard
For some men
To smile
At other men
Or to smile
At all

I guess that I miss you
Like I used to miss you before
Before we knew who we really were

I miss seeing you
Like ten years gone
Now I’m begging you to stay

Your hair still curly
Your smile still holding back
Exactly what you don’t want to say

That the last time I saw you
Our lips locked on that red couch
You were dating someone else

Like every time I see you
You’re still able to break me down
Something always slips out

You’ve been on my mind
I know we’re both just passing time
But would you come back just to see me
I always just want you back

Hello, hello.
Yes. The committee meeting has started
Can we please review the minutes from last time
Right moving forward
First item on the agenda:
There are too many flavors of ice cream
How are we supposed to choose
When there are so many flavors
I move to second that opinion
Third
Right, there from now on be only two flavors
Chocolate and vanilla
But don’t you think there might be a need for strawberry?
But that is too many flavors, remember there are too many
Ah yes, but can’t we incorporate one more?
Ok, I move to propose three ice cream flavors and no more
I second
Third
Second and final item on the agenda:
Ice cream is too cold
How can we eat ice cream
Quickly, when it is so cold
There shall only be warm ice cream from now on
I second that opinion
Third
Right, from now on there will only be warm ice cream
The committee thanks you for attending.
If that is it, we will adjourn.

He makes my heart beat
Feels like I'm losing my feet
These days I'm too discreet
Lying to myself
And others around me

He makes me feel like me
Masculine enough
But the sweeter man
Blond t shirts
Backwards caps

He makes my knees weak
That look on his face
When he turns to the side
Did you know
That you're so **** fine

Seeking love
Not violent ends
Mostly **** these days
Been on the mend
Lost love recently
Replaced with revenge
Running empty
Need to hold your hand

You came to me
Like the sweetest dream
I’ve ever seen
Or ever be able to see

Lately, I’ve been
Missing you
And everything you brought
That I didn’t have

Please I’ll ask you
To come back
Let’s pack up
Leave, things you’ll never see

I know its been a while
Since things have slowed down
We just graduated college
After running up the hill

We have been running together
For a long time now
For a while it seemed like
We would never get out

But we're here now today
A place once so far away
25 and 24
Time will carry the weight

And anything else
That gets in the way
I will be here for you
I won't miss a day

It's a shark tank
Out here
No one really seems
To feel anymore
People looking to clown
Or something to down
That isn't really
In their heart
But in their glass
And we shatter
How much longer
Can a generation suffer
First there was online dating
Then online break ups
Now we turn this
Into a game
Swiping
People's faces
No, no, yes, yes
Like a bunch of
Shallow, fake
Faithless, fakers
We paint up our faces
Then hide inside weakness

Sadly this dude
Stumbled down the street
I lost a lover and a friend
What he said to me
Not one in the same
Just one of each

Unconditional love
Given without pause or thought
Feel it in your veins
It's what brings us to our knees
Love for a stranger
The refusal to fight
A brother or sister
In this or another life

Jealousy's a monster
A mother ****** beast
Take its *** down
Beat it up in the streets

Take a deep breath
And get yourself in check
Take a look in the mirror
Before you bounce back

We could lose it all
Right before we lose our minds
Let the cord stretch
And cut it off just in time

"Loot"
"Riot"
"Thugs"
These are buzzwords
Buzz in your head
Straight from the Oval Office
To the newsstand held so dear
Your news is contrived
It's fabricated
Who cares if a building window broke
They breaking people's necks
But that's not worth the screen time
Better to focus on broken windows
Than a broken system

Love
Is
Blind

only because

Love
Is
Blinding

They cramp your body
Into a box
Until you are
Disfigured
Then they open the box
To dump you out

All my life
I've seen girls and woman
Told to hate their own faces
Refusing to go outside
Without a face painted to perfection
Eighth grade -
Girl with blonde hair
Doesn't believe me when I say she's beautiful
When she lets me in
Her house
Wrapped in a blanket
Canvas blank
She nervously lets me stay
Two years after college -
Girl with brown hair
Doesn't believe me when I say she's beautiful
When she asks me how she looks best
And I say "without makeup"
She stares and says
No when do I look most beautiful
She nervously laughs

All my life
I've seen boys and men
Told to hate their own faces
Nose down ninety-five percent of the day
Eyes can't meet others
Freshman year of highschool -
Young boys face spotted with change
Ashamed without confidence
Feeling too small
Too insignificant
Lacking perfection
Ten years later -
A man with short brown hair
Eyes feeling too sunk in
Face not sharp enough
Cheeks hollow
Body twisted made to feel ugly
Almost letting go

She like them slow boys
Those easy to play with
Kind of toys
Those easy to maniuplate
Drowned out
Kind of noise

She likes to play kids
Still one herself
She doesn't see him
Isn't looking for herself
But for the game

Chasing those low points
When you just
Bounce around
Like a falling leaf
But making lots of sound

Rising rents
Doesn’t seem to care
Who they affect
The City could care less
The mayor giving
Tax breaks
Playing high stakes
With peoples lives
The landlord
Controlling the soundboard
With rent control
Now seen as a nuisance
No one used to want to live here
But now they do
They say there is not enough housing
To fit they appetites
Well don’t be so hungry
Don’t be so greedy
Share a space
Don’t displace
Contemplate actions
Homeless shelters
Next to highrises
Single occupant
Apartments
Could fill ten beds
Instead of one head
Even Jack gets kicked out
The bar that supplies the ghost
Is a poetic footnote
To the money hungry
Seeing dollars
Instead of history
The nations remaining
Black bookstore
Painted The Color Purple
Now shut down
By monied clowns
Stating their needs for millions
Over millions who need
Books
Culture
Life
Instead of
****** glossed over history
Without a shred of the past
Marcus Books
Where Malcolm, Ali, Davis
Gathered
Now lost
To the highest bidder
People come
People go
But the erosion of history
Is a swift reality
Of the gentrification
Of The City

Maybe I was the *******
Maybe I did everything wrong
Maybe each day that passed
Sinking deeper into despair
Was my making
My fault

Maybe the bottle chose me
Maybe I choose to hurt myself
Putting up with you
Your lying,  twisting of words
Before the punches
Came clearer signs of neglect

Maybe you were the one
That fought against truth and love
Maybe you were Lenny
And I was the mouse
Maybe you were too controlling
And I was too caring

The Ports go down
Just go down to the Port
To see
Shut it down
Break the break of spirit
Skulls backs necks
Cali needs Cali sees
Cali sick of the ratatat
The unemployment gaps
The uninsured working for
No one knows no ones sure
Break the habit break the rotation
Shut it down
The Ports of OAKLAND

Hollow sounds
Ringing out
In front of
Homes
Hollow words
Spewing forth
Defending
The Boys
Full of life
Taken suddenly
Because
Just because
Full of hope
Life beginning
On the way
To college
Hollow points
Hollow motives
Pop Pop Pop
Just like that

Empty bodies
Drift around lifeless
A vacated illusion of apocalypse
Stuffed with a numb hollow void
The sheeps skin
For beleaguered wolves
A watch for the innocent
Nose kept to the ground
The lifeless
Walk
To the edge of their existence
Look over
And dive

I remember
How I forgot
Walking back with you
Over what I was under
Fed up with things
We walked back
From their apartment
To my place
Sat out on the bed
Smoking
You get a call
About your grandfather
In tears I walked you back
In tears I did too

The air is crisp
Cold
Sending a lonesome chill
Down my back
The air is wet
Millions of raindrops
Falling
Tilting my head back
Opening my mouth
One drop
Finds my tongue

Who deserves a living wage
"I struggled through college to get my degree"
They shout
"All they do is flip burgers"
They say
As they flip their pages
Of their peer reviewed articles

Who deserves a living wage
"I built this company from the ground up"
They say
"They are just too lazy"
They shout
As they sit in their chair
Drinking liquor

Who deserves a living wage
"I am a human being"
They scream
"What makes you different than me?"
They ask
As they demand
A living wage

When the economy tanks
Unregulated globalized free market capitalism run amuck
People are told to be thankful to have a job
Even if you are miserable with that job
And with service sector jobs making up 80% of employment
Misery is widespread
Underpaid, undervalued, underappreciated
We are human beings for ***** sake
We are starved for more than selling shoes
If being thankful for misery is the best option
It's time to re-evaluate

Sitting here
I can wait all day for you
Yet someone's uninterested
In the particular parts
Of everyday life
That don't beat back and forth
Like your clock
Or schedule
I know you just got home
I was here the whole time

You are a planet
Come crashin into me
Start feeeling like
This is hennessy

Everytime that you
Come rushin into me
I start to think about
Everything I really need

But it seems like
Seems like
You don't care about
My life

But at the same time
I'm ok with that

A radical
Bringing untamed justice
Wherever he step foot
Adamantly pursuing equality
He instilled faith in humanity
So that we may continue his struggle
It is far from over
It's any everyday fight
Today even mirrors
Many of Dr. Kings plights

After friday
Saturday
Sunday
Comes me
After the lights
Come back on
You remember
My number

I start to
Think about
You
So much
That
I begin to
Dream about
You
And the
Next day
You just roll
Around
And around
In my
Head
Until I
See you
Again

There is a person
With no home
With no money
In a big city
Sleeping
Right behind
TV News Trucks

That man with the brain
Sits in a chair
That man with a chain
Sits in a cell
That woman with a drain
Cleaning all the dishes
That woman with a pain
Got a baby to take care of
Who's making this world spin
They know the ones who get broke
This world sits on their shoulders
While the dopeman peddles dope

These city streets
Illumuninate at the touch
Of anyone who even
Cares to see
Everything that lies beneath
Kept secret by the little beats
Of hearts that bled
For you and me
To remain here
While they paint dollar targets
On the backs of the poor
As they shut the door
Once and for all
On everything that ever
Made this city cool
It’s heart and soul

To every person
Who was given power
And threw it away
Please stay true

Look at these *****
Running wild with power
That power needs to be
Spread the **** out

The cube seems round
The air seems unbreathable

Yet I find myself in other places
While trapped here

And for that, I am thankful

Let's take this like
The above ground train
Slower than time takes
At time you can plunge
Like water dip your toes
Feel it creep up on you
Keep your hands out the ***
Take a hit of the same
Relax and let me plate this
Let me paint this
Before you frame this
I promise you there won't be much
To miss after you hit and I split
So hold me tight while we fight

Who wants to take a chance
We left it all behind us
No room for soft advances
Let's go dancing
Let's go forget everything
If you promise to really let go
Let's take a chance
Don't blink or you might cry
Time is way past our time
Now we're left angry and upset
That's why I want to forget

She takes her clothes off
Only for herself
He keeps his mind off
Everyone else
She keeps her promises
With no one to tell
His mind is weak
Open to spells

I can't even imagine
How it felt
What it felt like to be here
It must have been
Something like this
Above a bookstore
In a bar
Your mind can feel at ease

What does it really mean to lose the one you love?
It means being ripped away from someone you love
Worse, it means that someone hurt someone else
Pain is part of life, yes
But the circumstances that led to this was a different kind of pain
It was as much emotional pain as it was physical
The shock that someone who says they love you
Would physically hurt you is one of the most painful betrayals
That a person can ever feel
It is unexpected, it is shameful, it is heart breaking
But life starts anew
The pain of facing hatred in the eyes of the one you love, fades
In the haze of drunken *** with random strangers can come a friend
Someone who can remind you of what it means to be happy
To be treated with love, even when they are gone
Someone to show you that life still exists
That you are not alone
That there are friends that only want to love you
And for you to be loved
These are the words of pain that are healed through love
When you put down the bottle
Stop searching for comfort in temporary bliss
Start looking for long term solutions
In a place where love is given, received, and returned
Unconditionally

You are
A loser
With misery
Radiating around you
You turn everything
Around you
To misery
And your life
Is going
Nowhere

No Text Back

My phone stays silent
For days and days
Even though I text you
You don't hear me
I guess that's what I get
Blocking other people
Only wanting to talk to you
What goes around comes around
Make up excuses
Six days later
Your fingers find your phone
Your phone finds me
The sad part is
I'll text you back
Saying how are you doing?
That I've been missing you

Got all these sweets
But no one to give them to
Got a lot of time on my hands
But no one to give it to
Feeling pretty lonely lately
Hope to confide in you