Sometimes I stumble around
Sometimes I feel like I have lost my ground
Sometimes I wanna let it all go
Sometimes I feel like watching
Yet the only thing that I've known for sure
Is that I am sure of the things I am unsure
All the time walking around getting bad vibes
Reading this seeing that knowing what's for real
Do I wanna trade in my piece of mind
Do I wanna give up my time and desire
What does it take to fold in this self sustained world
A bump, a rock, a car, self doubt or self serve
All I know is the things I don't know
Thinking I was right, thinking thinking
Gave me some insight to my own assumptions
Now I give it up just to give it back
What does it take to lose your mind
Be stuck in your grind the only thing you find
What does it take to let people down
Instead of beating your head on the ground

If I can't
Find through
You
Then I guess
I'll find through
Some fill
I think the
River is the
Fastest way to
Get to love
Now
I delete
Words I
Can't say

The problem is power
When it is concentrated
It becomes explosive like a bomb

The parent directing the child
With absolute authority
To behave as told

A rigidly enforced chain of respect
For elders in a family
With no questions asked

No matter what the form
Power concentrated
Is dangerous

When I was with my old girl
Back in 2009
I remember laughing talking to her
On my phone line
Saying that I would never ever
Get with you
That you played with my friends too much
So I never would have slept with you
And as I put her mind at ease
I thought to myself
If the time and place came
Would I fall to my knees
I remember I laughed
And laughed and laughed
I would never get with her in a lifetime
Never say never

Jaded moms
Blaming ****
For all their kids
Problems
And where is the
Dad
Again?

Even when it's late
Out waiting for you
All day
And I'll wait all night
Just to see your face
See you smile
To spend even just
One hour
With you
Watching you glow
I squint but never
Look away
I'll stay out in Oakland
For you
Past midnight
No way home
Just to be with you

Like a werewolf
I don't think of you
Until the moon comes out
And I turn

Pound it until it burns
Esophagus on fire
Everything to your loivers desire

Apologize for everytime
You drank away your desires
Left in place of your fears

Crooked back as I hack
Curled into a ball
I refuse to live trapped inside

Up north
Where we held hands
And thought about fires
For us to sit by
I'll be yours on the west
If you'll be mine on the east
Peace and happiness
All we had

In all these steps that we take
We'll discover the mistakes that we make
Every single day that we walk
We learn new things from the people who talk

We all just hope to move on
Get over things that went wrong
Never look back
And move on forever ahead

At times I find myself blind
Not seeing friends family or lies
All collecting up the pieces of myself
That I've left behind

In the end I'll apologize
Tell every single person that I lied
And that I never meant
To hurt someone like you

How to skirt
Laws built on blood
Tears and people
How to profit
During a depression
Worse than 1920
Simply don't afford
Worker rights
It's that easy
Apparently

There's food in the store
Doctors in the hospital
Vacant rooms in the buildings
So what's with the manufacturing
Of worry, desperation, and poverty??

My heart is aching and breaking
Twisting and shaking
I feel it pulsing
Like the ground is quaking
I'll rip out my eyes
So that I can't see
I'll cut off my fingers
So that I can't feel
I'll blow out my ears
So that I can't hear
I'll cut out my tongue
So that there's no taste
The only thing I'm left with
Is an abandoned state
Hopeless and helpless
I sit here and wait
The pain of my mind
Jailbird and bait

Terror ridden
She struck his head
With blows of regret
Misinformation
And terrible ***

War is for
Romantics
Who never
Fight

Scanning the language
To make sense
Of two different worlds
Propose
The interpretation
For one party
It translates
For the other
It is lost

The spirit it catches you
The interpreter desperately relays the message
But it does not translate
It has caught you
You are falling down
Yet no one seems to understand the message
Throwing pebbles
At a brick wall
Even when translated
To a familiar language
Those hardened in their ways
Fail to comprehend the meaning

A nation that bleeds
Unwilling to confront the past
The last thing we need
Is celebration and blasts
The unequal treatment
Race gender and class
Shines so clearly
With Donald Trump laughs
In this time reflection
Will shine a better path
Reconstruction Redistribution
Instead of indifference and death

I have been thinking about
Dreams
And what they mean

Have you ever had a dream
That changed your whole day?

I have
It makes the dream
Feel
Real

The wind swept dreams
Washed ashore on the beach
The sexiest thing you've ever seen
Cleopatras running in the street
Collect these desires collect them please
Keep them safe under lock and key
If ever I'm lost and my heart set to freeze
Open the box and give them back to the sea

If what separates humans
Is rational thought
And cognitive intelligence
Then why don't we cherish thoughts
Why don't we take the time to stop
And think
Instead of frantically running around
Off to work
Off to school
Time is money in this type of globalized economy
So where is the time
To sit
And think
Use the ability we were given
To ponder
Contemplate
Argue with ourselves
Instead of being taught
To aspire to the person who only shouts orders
Commands
Directs
But does not reflect
On their own thoughts

It seems unfair, sometimes
How you make me feel
And then you leave me there

I blame myself
Addiction is real
While I stare at you, empty

I blame you
Pain is real
While I, desperately, search for your warmth

My friend introduced us
But we are no longer friends
All I have is you

Ive talked too much ****
Thrown your name in the dirt
Like you did to me
We'll never be
What we used to be

Now I sit thinking
About who we used to be
What we could have been
Before you took a bat
To this glass house

I guess tears and anger
Only get you so far
When love unraveled
In front of us
We watched it die

It has been some time since I thought about this
Since I lost that chip
On my shoulder
I did not know that I had to leave
To come back

Home

           Is
              
                Where                          ­    Is

            The

Heart

In between the five minutes of bliss
Lingering just long enough for a song to play
Would be a pool of depression
Drowning any thought that dared to swim
Beneath my hollow eyes
A body half dead yet half alive
Dragged through the day just to release
My desires back into the abyss

I fill my lungs
Come back to reality
The feeling in my hands
Returns
The filling in my heart
Turns soft
My hardened glare
Is willing to smile

I remember
Those cards you sent me
Filled with pine needles
And things you had to tell me

The one I love the most
The one that brings me calm
A smile and a hug no matter what
Supporting me always through everything
Gentle words to soothe my anxious mind
Helping me weather it every time
The one I hold dearest in my heart
My mother, my ma, my mom

Used in medicines
The world over
Sent from the stars
To grow in abundance
Spared of addiction
Absence of toxicity
Breath of life
Thread of reflection
Given to the soil
Tendered to the soul
Flower of clarity
He did bestow

Wasting my time
And wasting yours
Whats the point
Of insidious actions
Pure hate
Because you
Pretend to date
Something that isn't
Even you
I guess that's what makes
It easy to hide

I bring my heart
My soul
My music
You can play the fool
I'll be me until I can't

Secret armies
Secret prisons
Secret wars
Secret orders
Secret evidence
Secret motives
Secret plans
Secret killings

Tell the truth

Bombs over Baghdad
Bombs over families
Bombs over kids
Bombs over places you don't know

Tell the truth

Terrorize a nation
Terrorize a hemisphere
Terrorize the "other"
Terrorize the culture

Tell the truth

Weddings turned into massacres
New-born celebrations a war target
Citizens chosen for assassination
"The world is a battlefield"

Wake up
What a circus
To watch
On the TV screen
Waco
Thugs?
No
Danger to society?
No
Evidence of inherent white violence?
No
Just the boys
At it again
No one beaten by cops
No one brutalized by police
Or the media
Just another white day
In a white town

Still thoughts of you
Swimming in the back of my mind
I look away
Shake out the thought
Stretched out on the couch
She comes toppling over
On top of me
Pulling her in
Her warmth
Close to me
I kiss her on the cheek
She kisses me back on the lips
And I return the thought
Then you’re back in my head
Your face in the middle of my mind
Pulling myself off the couch
My thoughts scramble about you
And I get the urge to call you

She drops
It on his
Face
Like the one
Person dance
Before twisting
Out
Onto his friends
Mouth
Sit still
It won't be long
Before I'm gone

Follow the heart
Wherever it takes you
It is yours
It knows what it wants
It beats for you and only you
Others will spit lies
With callous tongues
To drag you away
Far from your beating heart
Until it is so lonely it stops
Trust your heart
Don’t abandon it
It beats for you

These wheels spin
Draped in the clothes from
The Hospital
Rolled out
Onto this platform
Waiting for the underground
Subway
Hunched in the hospital wheelchair
Stares flood
The Homeless
Are unsightly to those who pass
Especially the sick
Less tolerable than the
Smiling panhandler

Friends and
Family
Will betray you
Some day
But it may
Take Months
Years
To figure it out
How are we
To respond
With love
Compassion
Or hate
Forgive
Never
Forget

Remember as kids
Hanging out in the yard
We never did
Those things promised from the start
Bitter ends
Keep us blinded in the dark
Silver pens
To trace the outlines of our loss

That plane in the sky
Holding all my dreams
Watch it taking off
Into the furthest reaches

The sand on that beach
Hiding amongst myself
Unseen painting the water
Feel me slip through your hands

Like your hair falling down
All around my face
Your breath as hot
Feeling the fire burning blue

Shade me absolute green
Pull down the blinds around me
The fire turns me to smoke
Consume the room till we breath

Ripped away my fanatic decency
I dream of that anxious calm
Floating in and out of dreams
One sweeter than the next till the first is hell

A sense of fairness felt under trees
Shades of knowledge pumping like poison
What is of the earth is always given back
Through time we stumble blind

Most of this air I cannot breath
With the fish I tried to swim but could not see

What to fight
For
The viet kong
Never slurred an
American minority
What to fight
For
The individual need
To succeed
Talking about
Fighting for the life
Of us in others
What is a breath taken
That can't be given back
Why hoard something
When sharing is what makes you feel
Alive
Talking about fighting
For what you believe in
Talking about democracy

take a weathered brush
dip it in the same bucket
of time stained ink

we splash it around
on a frayed page
trying to make sense

come back home
looking at what we made
hardly anyone understands

Light like I'm on a cloud
Caught in the stars
Floating away on the thought of you
Your eyes remind me
Of stars I've seen when I was younger
That's why I can't look away
Going blind staring into the sun
Nothing can eclipse you

The business
You work for
Is lucky to have you
You are a human being
Living, breathing, thinking
Without you
Nothing
Gets done
And I mean nothing
The machine does not operate
On its own
Where is the energy?
Who built it?
Who runs it?
Who turns it on
And off
You are a human being
No person
No machine
Can replicate you
No matter how hard
They try

Running
Running from the truth
Im not really sure
What to do
These days
Told one thing
Then learn another
Tricked in the end
Without a mother
A father
A sister
And a brother
That I cannot
Fathom
The life of an immigrant