Where are you
Have I left you out?
Are you hiding
Running
Escaping
Wanting to escape
At least give me a clue
Something give me anything
Let me know what's going on
Are we still friends
Where are you

I knew when I came in
We looked each other in the eyes
At the same time you broke down crying

Somehow we made a mistake
Let things slip up
Now it's getting late

But we both knew where we wanted to go
You had your path
I had a path of my own

A mistake or reality
I'm not really sure these days
These are just things I never would say

Still thoughts of you
Swimming in the back of my mind
I look away
Shake out the thought
Stretched out on the couch
She comes toppling over
On top of me
Pulling her in
Her warmth
Close to me
I kiss her on the cheek
She kisses me back on the lips
And I return the thought
Then you’re back in my head
Your face in the middle of my mind
Pulling myself off the couch
My thoughts scramble about you
And I get the urge to call you

War is for
Romantics
Who never
Fight

With but one word
Castles are torn down
Destroyed in front of his eyes
Putting his delicate heart
In the hands of a father
Who pays no attention
And breaks it
What else
Gets passed down
Neither of them wants to know

Even in my dreams
I worry about how
Much beer I got
Even when I sleep
I turn over
All those thoughts
With no escape for peace
My mind is working
Off the clock
Even all these trees
Can't seem to block
All these memories

There's no rebirth
Without pain
But tonight
I'm really feelin it
My heart is breaking
While I try and mend it
But my sister
Gives me strength
Miles away
Giving birth

The kid woke up
Scratching his eyes
He walked to the mirror
Disillusioned with the days tasks to come
Opening his eyes
The reflection stared back
Long hair
Unshaved beard
The boy blinked his eyes
And was gone

Sometimes when you see
All the dots
You don't want to
Connect them
That's when your heart and soul
Come in
To paint the picture
Reveal to you what you must see

working don’t know why
working on the fly
working for the time
working for the dime
working for a mime
working for a crime
working with a cry
working for a lie
working till you die

**** it I guess
I'm just trying to
Pay my mom's rent

What am I doing
Stay up too late
Don't get enough sleep

I'm just trying
To help change the world
For the better

I'll help you
You help me
I'm just trying
To help change the world
For the better

I'll help you
You help me
I'm just trying

Muni bus rides
I swear the sky shines bright
Lost in lustless thoughts
Struggles for a better life
Thoughts of drinks and let downs
Burning earth and deep poverty
Loss of hope and emotion
What does it take to wake up
Kept restless and dormant
I swear everyday
Everything is ******* real
Don't look away
He's got a needle in his ear
The city attacks him
The corporations mask it
The oil leaks out thick

Empty bodies
Drift around lifeless
A vacated illusion of apocalypse
Stuffed with a numb hollow void
The sheeps skin
For beleaguered wolves
A watch for the innocent
Nose kept to the ground
The lifeless
Walk
To the edge of their existence
Look over
And dive

I hope to stay true
Stay glued to something
At least one thing
I can be honest about
Completely
True to myself
True to you

Losing my mind
Without something to put in it
As darkness shines
I lose feeling in my toes
Panic grips my chest
My brain running
How will I get out of this alive
From night comes day
But I'm terrified

I know its been a while
Since things have slowed down
We just graduated college
After running up the hill

We have been running together
For a long time now
For a while it seemed like
We would never get out

But we're here now today
A place once so far away
25 and 24
Time will carry the weight

And anything else
That gets in the way
I will be here for you
I won't miss a day

To get love
We must learn
How to receive it
To gut love
We must learn
How to deceive it

The best part about mumbling is that you can make best friends really easily – You always meet people that tell you to speak up because they say they can’t hear you – But then one day you meet someone that hears everything you say – And you become best friends instantly

There is a pill for the symptom but not for the cause
There is an umbrella for the rain only if you have a job
There is a bottle for the hopeless but the potion does not last
There is a flower for the anxious but the bills have not passed
There is an army for the rich but not for the poor
There is a school for the brightest that only the wealthy can afford
There is food that can **** that only the starving will receive
There is a doctor that can heal that the sickest cannot see
There are stars in the sky that are blotted out at night
But the fire always burns giving a path filled with light
There is

The path of the people
Doesn't take you to
Pretty things
Diamond rings
Baseball diamonds
Luxury box seats
You go where the people are
Instead
Where people need you
You go
Where beauty is

Memories cherished
Brought back to life
A return to a normalcy
The day spins away
Wheels on a familiar track
The lurking shadow of reality
Forgotten

the music
to drown out the silence
the serum
to shield the arrows
the smoke
to make the pieces whole

That plane in the sky
Holding all my dreams
Watch it taking off
Into the furthest reaches

The sand on that beach
Hiding amongst myself
Unseen painting the water
Feel me slip through your hands

Like your hair falling down
All around my face
Your breath as hot
Feeling the fire burning blue

Shade me absolute green
Pull down the blinds around me
The fire turns me to smoke
Consume the room till we breath

Ripped away my fanatic decency
I dream of that anxious calm
Floating in and out of dreams
One sweeter than the next till the first is hell

A sense of fairness felt under trees
Shades of knowledge pumping like poison
What is of the earth is always given back
Through time we stumble blind

Most of this air I cannot breath
With the fish I tried to swim but could not see

Sick money
Trick money
Funny money
To shut you up

Sticky money
Real slick money
Not your money
Never was yours money

Development interests
Trickle down business
Techie politicians
Is all you’ll get

Rebirth
Is a gift
Given to all of us
Take it
Seize it
Do not fear it
Shed
What is not you
Let it burn
Until it turns to ashes
Then grow
From the rich soil
Of those ashes
Experience is what moves us forward
But do not look back

Open bottles just sitting
My insides just rotting
Even in my dreams
Rage consumes me
Dares me to dunk
My head back under
A pool of liquor
Sober in my dreams

Who are you
No one wants
A mirror
Shined back
On themself
If I grow up
In time
Will it tell you
Just exactly
Why we’re here

Picturesque moments
Flood your time zone
All the way down
You had a smile on your face
What it takes
To finally get away
At home your heart breaks
Now you're miles away

To every person
Who was given power
And threw it away
Please stay true

Look at these *****
Running wild with power
That power needs to be
Spread the **** out

Pavement pounding
It may look like
Everyone's on the move
But look closer
They are still and collected
The noise rages around them
Unnecessarily
But we know
Where we are going

I can see the moon hiding
In between the clouds
As the music plays
Glowing orange
It disappears
Only to shine through

Part of me died that day
Picking up the pieces
Still in braces
Without any embraces
The people we love
Torturing our brains and
The thing we love
Is never escaping
Lately I’m just coping
While others move on
I’m still sitting here hoping
Still sitting here shaking
Everyone has moved
And on and on
The list never improves
I ***** and moan
We can only do it for ourselves
You know they say
In order to move on
I’m just asking for support
I’m just asking for the door
No one to open it
Just how to get there
I’m blinded in the dark

I remember
Those cards you sent me
Filled with pine needles
And things you had to tell me

The blows kept coming
I didn't know this
Was a fight

My tears kept flowing
Wrapping my arms
Around my head tight

Blacked out
Hair pulled
Hands on throat

Kicked
Punched
Pushed

Choked
Hated
Forgotten

Waking up
Sliding back
Into bed

You said
You had no memories
In your head

I can't take
The waight
Of a heavy heart
To escape

The feeling
Of ecstasy
Where you race
In place

I can't stand
The face
I have to make
These days

Just to get
A smile
From some fake
*** snake

I ******* feel everything
Numbed out thoughts
Thrown into the fire
Coming out reborn
Saying no to escapes
Saying yes to embrace
All these feelings
Ive been running from for so long

Tears running down my face
I invite them in
Fill this empty void
With a clear lake a mile wide
I’ve been plunging in
Not afraid of drowning
Because I’m learning to swim
Teaching myself how to live

Laughter
Escapes your lips
Like a secret
Never to be told again

She never
Answers
But it's just to
Remind her
That I still
Care
About her

The one I love the most
The one that brings me calm
A smile and a hug no matter what
Supporting me always through everything
Gentle words to soothe my anxious mind
Helping me weather it every time
The one I hold dearest in my heart
My mother, my ma, my mom

Pound it until it burns
Esophagus on fire
Everything to your loivers desire

Apologize for everytime
You drank away your desires
Left in place of your fears

Crooked back as I hack
Curled into a ball
I refuse to live trapped inside

Waking up
Stumbling through a dream
In someone else's head

I start to
Think about
You
So much
That
I begin to
Dream about
You
And the
Next day
You just roll
Around
And around
In my
Head
Until I
See you
Again