I have been taking the last year and a half to dedicate to trying to be a better person to myself, treat myself with respect, and find the ability to have real love for myself. But it is really difficult work. And I hoped that just stopping abusing alcohol would magically cure everything. It didn't. But I have moments of clarity where I am thankful to myself for going down this path and keeping on it. It's actually the opposite of the easy way out - it's hard work getting to know yourself (again, or for the first time) and it takes a lot of courage and bravery to really face yourself as you really are.