I am empty
Empty empty
A bottle once full
Spilled on the floor
A feeling that is fleeting
Still searching for more

Got all these sweets
But no one to give them to
Got a lot of time on my hands
But no one to give it to
Feeling pretty lonely lately
Hope to confide in you

Somebody to creep
Through these cold
Lonely
Streets with me
These old lonely
Beats
That keep playing
In my head
Someone to hold my hand
While we see
Everything we’ve been missing
In this city

No Text Back

My phone stays silent
For days and days
Even though I text you
You don't hear me
I guess that's what I get
Blocking other people
Only wanting to talk to you
What goes around comes around
Make up excuses
Six days later
Your fingers find your phone
Your phone finds me
The sad part is
I'll text you back
Saying how are you doing?
That I've been missing you

I just want to treat you right
Someone that I actually like
Someone that will stay the night
Who doesnt leave before it turns light
In my dark times
I look for people i can fight
Ones that **** up my life
That don’t care what’s inside

Like what use am I
What can I even contribute
Always second guessing myself
Always always
I never think
I'm good enough
It hurts to say the truth
Sometimes
Because sometimes
I just can't say the truth
When I really need to
Self doubt
Self loathing
Self anger
I just want to help others

I fill my lungs
Come back to reality
The feeling in my hands
Returns
The filling in my heart
Turns soft
My hardened glare
Is willing to smile

Maybe I was the *******
Maybe I did everything wrong
Maybe each day that passed
Sinking deeper into despair
Was my making
My fault

Maybe the bottle chose me
Maybe I choose to hurt myself
Putting up with you
Your lying,  twisting of words
Before the punches
Came clearer signs of neglect

Maybe you were the one
That fought against truth and love
Maybe you were Lenny
And I was the mouse
Maybe you were too controlling
And I was too caring

We like making plans
But never execute them
You like making friends
I'm not as cute as them
So you tell me to go with you
Across several states
Stupid me I'm naive
I thought this was a date
You cancelled me
Like the order
You'll never
Recieve

What happens
To a romantic
When they get
Eaten alive

They lose
Their petals
Faster than
You or I

Now i work
A 9 to 5
Stumble all day
My life feels dry

You climbing on top of my body
My hands around your waist
Your hands on my chest
And my stomach

Pull you in to me
Kiss you on the lips
On your cheeks
Squeeze you as you sit on top of me

Six years ago flys by in my mind
Can I really stand to see you go again
Holding you my hands all over your body
My heart was racing for the next 24 hours

I guess I’m dreaming about you know
After I wake up thinking about you
I have to go back to sleep
Just to be with you

You came to me
Like the sweetest dream
I’ve ever seen
Or ever be able to see

Lately, I’ve been
Missing you
And everything you brought
That I didn’t have

Please I’ll ask you
To come back
Let’s pack up
Leave, things you’ll never see

Baby
You can’t save the world
On your own
Find others
Who believe in you
Surround yourself
And fight
And love
With others

It’s too soon
To write poems about this
I’m afraid to say
What’s on my mind
To write it down
And read it back
That I liked seeing you
And hope to see you today

All these
Cute
Hippie
Chicks

We're more interested
In learning about one another
Than in fighting
One another

Hippie kids
Used to smoking ****
Hanging out with friends
Falling in love with lovers

I cheated on you
I slept on the floor
That night
You kicked me out
Of the bed
But you still
Hung your hand down
For me to hold
Later that night
You let me back in
The next day
We went to San Francisco
As planned

Free healthcare
Free education
Free housing
Free transportation
Free from classism
Free from racism
Free from sexism
Feminist, anti-racist, socialist, communist, anarchist
Destroy the private
Rebuild the public
All for the people
Down with tryanny and oppression
Down with capitalism

I've been trying
Trying trying
To become a better person
To do the things
I say I'm going to do
To do the things
That I think about
That I know I should do
Support the people
I should be supporting
Surround myself
With people that support me
I've been working towards
A better me
That helps people
The way I know I should
That organizes the community
That fights against bigotry
That tries to end oppression
That fights for the oppressed
Someone that thinks less
About themselves
And more about
Others
I've been trying so hard
For so many years
To be a better me

You yearned for a life
Without the corruption of greed
You sacrificed for the better
Of all human beings

Who are you
No one wants
A mirror
Shined back
On themself
If I grow up
In time
Will it tell you
Just exactly
Why we’re here

The path of the people
Doesn't take you to
Pretty things
Diamond rings
Baseball diamonds
Luxury box seats
You go where the people are
Instead
Where people need you
You go
Where beauty is

I loved you
Back when there
Were more questions
Than answers

I miss the old us
The kids who were happy
Willing to sleep outside
And hide inside

I miss the days we kissed
Because there weren't very many
But they seem to be
Forever far

When I was with my old girl
Back in 2009
I remember laughing talking to her
On my phone line
Saying that I would never ever
Get with you
That you played with my friends too much
So I never would have slept with you
And as I put her mind at ease
I thought to myself
If the time and place came
Would I fall to my knees
I remember I laughed
And laughed and laughed
I would never get with her in a lifetime
Never say never

The things we used
To say to each other
We would tear
Each other apart
The words that
Came out of my mouth
The words that
Came from my fingers
Cutting you with
My tongue
Just to watch
You bleed
And you would ask
Why are you saying that
Is that what you really
Think of me
Jealousy and hate
All inside of me
I added you too
But you always stayed
My words came from
Resentment and anger
Upset with the way
You were living your life
The only person to blame
For being with you
Is me
In the end
I should have known better
Then to believe
That what you said
Was true
But we ended up
Intertwined
I loved you
You loved me too
So why did we commit
To one another
Moving in
When so far away
You hated being here
Right when I was ready to change
You wanted to go back home
You wanted me to feel your pain
Then came the drinking
The angry drinking
The sloppy fights
Even sloppier nights
Then came the sorrys
The I didn't mean its
The I love yous
The dont leave mes
And that's how we did it
Push and pull
Give and tug
Until the string snapped
You used your fists
To decide how it ends
The next morning
Kicked you out of our bed

Would he hate me
Knowing who I am
This time in my life
Trying to open up
Throw a bomb
Down castro street
He said
As I listened on
Too young to know
Exactly why
You would want to ******
Happy people
What would you think of me
Knowing who I really am
Would you still love me
And change your mind
Would you accept me
Would you disown me
Would you ignore what I say
Or would you stay
Right by my side
Hand on my shoulder
Love me regardless
What would you do
Grandpa?

First come the roses
Then come the fears
Followed by ecstasy
Wrapped up with tears

Arms are tight
Lips are soft
Until the fights
Rip large holes

That sweet smile
Starts to disappear
Friends start to whisper
Before it turns to thin air

In a world
Of broken relationships
And dating apps

I've honestly
Forgotten
What it means

To care about
Someone
Else

To make
A good
Impression

To take it
Slow
And wait

To wait
And see
What grows

I'm just
Too ready
To throw it away

Please stop
******* with
All my friends
Trying to be
Cool with me
I only
Hit you up
To *****
You over
Getting all offended
Trying to hangout
There's only
One thing left
When you
Burn all your bridges
Me and the bed

Running
Running from the truth
Im not really sure
What to do
These days
Told one thing
Then learn another
Tricked in the end
Without a mother
A father
A sister
And a brother
That I cannot
Fathom
The life of an immigrant

Its always revolutionary women

Organizing
Working
Leading
Taking charge

Denouncing
Ignorance

The depth of
The ocean
Or as shallow
As a kids pool
What are you
Looking for

A lack of sympathy
A lack of empathy
A lack of understanding
That is not difficult
To understand

The inability
To see anything
But yourself
Your own prejudice
Cripples you

The things
That people hate

Like myself
My personality
These days

What will we
End up doing

Im still
Waiting
To find out

The words she spoke
Were not kind

I said no
to writing a poem
so go away

Poems ****

Hold back
What you have to say
Like shakespeare
Please make it go away

Cursive words
Spread like seasons
The sun rises
With it's best intentions

The beginning
Of the end
When you see
The cracks from within

Your friends
And best friends
Become people
You forget

When a girl
Comes around
With big
Sweet eyes

Friends fall
To the side
Until you realize
Theyre all gone

That moment
When you realize
That you are
Nothing special

That there's
Someone else
That there's
Always someone else

To replace you
To be you
That has
What you don't have

That moment
When it sinks in
That you are completely
Human

Actually trying
Is much much much
Harder

Actively lying
Won't get you much
Further

I’m sitting there, just thinking, thinking about you
About my life, about the bottle, about being high
Again you slip, back into my mind, thinking thinking
The music that replaced, the empty time, that would have been
Shots after shots, sip after sip, until I’m blind
I had to get up, take a breath, and leave the room
I floss and look, into the mirror, and smile hesitantly
I fill my lungs with smoke, close the bottle, and go to sleep

Wrong girl
Wrong time
I've made mistakes
In my life

Your smell
Still on me
When you left
I cried

It touches my lips
And I go under
Like rolling thunder

I take a deep breath
And try to escape
How I feel the next day

How rare
Love really
Is

I guess
I never
Realized

Consuming it
Like a
Joke

The joke
Is on
Me

But I
Still need
It

Going in alone
I feel blind
More used to you
Being by my side

These days
I take deep breaths
Just to keep
My head on straight

One step forward
Five steps back
How long will it take
To get over you

New sucesses
Other failures
All things that I miss
Sharing with you

Whats left of
Love
In the city

When all the
Real people
Are pushed out

Left with stuck up
Obnoxious
Elites

More interested in
Designer jeans
Designer sheets

Than with
A heart that beats
Compassion and life

The gritty
The ugly
The poor

Are simply
In this city
No more

Whats left of love
In a place so barren
Void of life

I start to
Think about
You
So much
That
I begin to
Dream about
You
And the
Next day
You just roll
Around
And around
In my
Head
Until I
See you
Again

Do you ever
Notice
The way things
Come
Crushing in
All at
Once
Sometimes
My anxiety
Peaks

I guess
The
Does ****
The pain
But now
Adays
I'm just
In a daze
Faded
****** up
And
Lonely

Right girl
Wrong time
She was hanging
With some other guy

I thought I
Was stronger
Than I found out
I was

Pride gets
In the way
So often
These days

Am I to blame
Or are you
I'm still not
Quite sure

It's a shark tank
Out here
No one really seems
To feel anymore
People looking to clown
Or something to down
That isn't really
In their heart
But in their glass
And we shatter
How much longer
Can a generation suffer
First there was online dating
Then online break ups
Now we turn this
Into a game
Swiping
People's faces
No, no, yes, yes
Like a bunch of
Shallow, fake
Faithless, fakers
We paint up our faces
Then hide inside weakness