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The Jolteon Jun 2018
I loved being with you
Everyday was like a dream
Right after it happened
Feeling so serene
Every kiss with you
Was like the sweetist dream
Thoughts of sunrises
And golden fields
Are what dot
All my memories of you
Reading blankets
On rolling hills
Smoking bongs
And little bottles of champagne
Falling asleep under the sun
Falling in love with the thought of you
Jun 2018 · 176
Stronger
The Jolteon Jun 2018
I know we grow up on
The backs of
Our mothers and fathers
Our hearts containing
The fire and love
Of thousands before us
Those who struggle
To be even stronger
Are the lights that guides us
When everything
Is thrown into chaos
Jun 2018 · 137
Taken For Granted
The Jolteon Jun 2018
Taken for granted
Grant your last wish
That every time you think of me
I will be around
Friends, family, work
No one respects what you give
All taken up
Everything left in a sloppy mess
They roll you out like the mat
Expecting you to be pristine
Willing to get walked on
While you smile back
Take me for granted
And I will grant you one wish
You will be all on your own
When I'm gone
When you're the glue
They take you for granted
When you're the light
They forget the darkness
What's the point of a smiling face
Too eager to please
If you were gone they would forget
Take you for granted lack of respect
May 2018 · 164
Cry Like A Girl
The Jolteon May 2018
Cry like a girl
Cook like a girl
Dance like a girl
Smile like a girl

That night when I dropped
Acid on my tongue
I transformed into
The softest rose

Line your eyes
When no one's looking
Paint your lips
When no one's looking

When I was four
I picked up a tampax
Confused about why
There was no where for it to go
Gender is fluid ya'll
May 2018 · 179
It Went Down Burning
The Jolteon May 2018
In between the five minutes of bliss
Lingering just long enough for a song to play
Would be a pool of depression
Drowning any thought that dared to swim
Beneath my hollow eyes
A body half dead yet half alive
Dragged through the day just to release
My desires back into the abyss
6 months without drinking
May 2018 · 197
Always Remember
The Jolteon May 2018
While everybody leaves the city
Still sees the city
But just watches it bleed
I’ll be here all weekeend
All year
In the trenches on my knees
Happy memorial day weekend. **** vacations. I love my home.
May 2018 · 168
Write! Speak!
The Jolteon May 2018
A poet
An activist
A lover
An organizer
A writer
I sharpen my tongue
And clip my nails
My weapons laid bare
For all to see
The prose I speak
Is meant to move mountains
Shift policies
Change laws
Tug hearts
Deafen my enemies
My words are all I have
And I will give them to you
Friend or foe
May 2018 · 190
No Cool Shit Bullshit
The Jolteon May 2018
Who wants to take a chance
We left it all behind us
No room for soft advances
Let's go dancing
Let's go forget everything
If you promise to really let go
Let's take a chance
Don't blink or you might cry
Time is way past our time
Now we're left angry and upset
That's why I want to forget
May 2018 · 119
Weed Over Booze
The Jolteon May 2018
The things that we do
For ten seconds of bliss
Search for it in beauty
Not empty bottles of ****
There are positive ways to seek bliss and happiness, and there are negative ways that damage our mind, body, and soul
May 2018 · 140
To My 8th Grade Self
The Jolteon May 2018
You wouldn't believe how good you are at
Being yourself
Being exactly who you need to be
Without any doubt
Knowing what's wrong
And what's right
Knowing that deep in your heart
A fire burns
Against injustice and oppression
Let your desire to fight
Guide you
You've never sought blood
Or war
In the end it's love that gives you the light
Don't forget
Fight
The Jolteon May 2018
I've been so selfish for the last year
Pulling out my hair just thinking of you
Happier lost in bliss than parked on your lips
The time has come for us to move on
Apr 2018 · 159
Ghosts on the Platform
The Jolteon Apr 2018
Feeling full of life
Until I trip on your wire
Set in the underground subway
My third eye goes blind
The sight of your gaze
Leaves me quesy for days
I came down here alive
But leave hollowed out
When u see ur x at the subway station
Apr 2018 · 92
No Self Control
The Jolteon Apr 2018
What does it really mean to lose the one you love?
It means being ripped away from someone you love
Worse, it means that someone hurt someone else
Pain is part of life, yes
But the circumstances that led to this was a different kind of pain
It was as much emotional pain as it was physical
The shock that someone who says they love you
Would physically hurt you is one of the most painful betrayals
That a person can ever feel
It is unexpected, it is shameful, it is heart breaking
But life starts anew
The pain of facing hatred in the eyes of the one you love, fades
In the haze of drunken *** with random strangers can come a friend
Someone who can remind you of what it means to be happy
To be treated with love, even when they are gone
Someone to show you that life still exists
That you are not alone
That there are friends that only want to love you
And for you to be loved
These are the words of pain that are healed through love
When you put down the bottle
Stop searching for comfort in temporary bliss
Start looking for long term solutions
In a place where love is given, received, and returned
Unconditionally
Apr 2018 · 126
Pains and Planes to Chicago
The Jolteon Apr 2018
Paint light around my eyes
Two rings of life
Shine brighter when it's half full
Lighten panic that keeps my chest tight
Exaggerated feelings
As the rocks melt
Your heart does too
Until the potion dries up

I pour, sit, and sip my cup
Wondering how I got taken
So far away from myself

The words don't flow as freely
The liquids are trapped in the bottle
Living life with less feeling

The paint thinner
Was self destructive
Blow up your liver
Apr 2018 · 136
Tell Me Sweet Little Lies
The Jolteon Apr 2018
**** your east coast weather
And your east coast snow
You were hot like the summer
Until you turned cold
As a matter of fact
You were never that dope
**** peppy cheerleaders
And **** your SO
Calling me up
On my cellular phone
Asking when I’m around
And if I’ll be home
Travel all this way
Pretend you’re alone
You left the Bay
Now you’re giving him dome
Apr 2018 · 114
My Home, Lost
The Jolteon Apr 2018
These city streets
Illumuninate at the touch
Of anyone who even
Cares to see
Everything that lies beneath
Kept secret by the little beats
Of hearts that bled
For you and me
To remain here
While they paint dollar targets
On the backs of the poor
As they shut the door
Once and for all
On everything that ever
Made this city cool
It’s heart and soul
I’m visiting Chicago, and talking to people from here, they have the same inner-city displacement problems as San Francisco. This country was built on colonialism and displacement. Nothing has changed except the platitudes.
Apr 2018 · 83
Purple and Blue Necklace
The Jolteon Apr 2018
I only know when we broke up
Because of the date stamped
On the picture of your bruises
Wrapped around my neck
Apr 2018 · 100
Depressants
The Jolteon Apr 2018
On a good day
My body’s up in flames
Burning from head to toe
In the guilt built on anxiety
On a bad day
I’m completely gone
Waiting for my time
To leave this place behind
PLEASE SEEK HELP FOR SUICIDAL THOUGHTS OR FRIENDS. This poem is about feeling sad, anxiety, loneliness and dealing with it all day to day
Mar 2018 · 98
life on the fringes
The Jolteon Mar 2018
take a weathered brush
dip it in the same bucket
of time stained ink

we splash it around
on a frayed page
trying to make sense

come back home
looking at what we made
hardly anyone understands
Mar 2018 · 215
Imitators
The Jolteon Mar 2018
Pound it until it burns
Esophagus on fire
Everything to your loivers desire

Apologize for everytime
You drank away your desires
Left in place of your fears

Crooked back as I hack
Curled into a ball
I refuse to live trapped inside
Mar 2018 · 115
Tortured Thoughts
The Jolteon Mar 2018
Am I dreaming
Or am I drinking
Rusty thoughts
Keep me from thinking

Leaving home
The tunnel shrinking
As i run away
Mar 2018 · 92
The Love of Friends
The Jolteon Mar 2018
Like 20 SO's
With better benefits
I know how to use my right hand
So I don't need anybody else
Except my number one
Best f r i e n d
Always by my side
Together we grow and die
Mar 2018 · 89
Relapse
The Jolteon Mar 2018
Filling voids by letting women inside
Or the other way around
I liked the bottle much better
It comforted me without judgement
She would crack a joke
I would crack the cap
Now she's gone
My best friend spilled on the floor
I liked the fuzzy warm blanket
Blank stares and funny faces
I liked the bottles better
If I relapse better them than you
Mar 2018 · 149
Snails
The Jolteon Mar 2018
Rectangular shape to my heart
Bring out the sharpened knife
Cut it open from left to right
Pull out your insides for me to see
A love letter written in red
Directly from you to me
I'll melt seeing your words on a page
Waiting for the day I can see you again
Feb 2018 · 141
Careless Wanders
The Jolteon Feb 2018
The best part of waking up
Is when I get to fall asleep
Running lifeless in my dreams
Barefoot in the streets
Time kills my life
When all I want is peace
Lifeless in the AM
Until I grind up some trees
Feb 2018 · 231
At Night, Anxiety
The Jolteon Feb 2018
Losing my mind
Without something to put in it
As darkness shines
I lose feeling in my toes
Panic grips my chest
My brain running
How will I get out of this alive
From night comes day
But I'm terrified
This is about my anxiety which peaks at night time, and how I try and cope but sometimes I can't
Feb 2018 · 206
Lost in Place
The Jolteon Feb 2018
Seeking love
Not violent ends
Mostly **** these days
Been on the mend
Lost love recently
Replaced with revenge
Running empty
Need to hold your hand
Feb 2018 · 108
Floating Away
The Jolteon Feb 2018
Always say I love you
To the girls I meet
Anyone who gets dinner with me
I go down and eat
Feb 2018 · 114
XO
The Jolteon Feb 2018
XO
Loving little thoughts
That you send
Forging small responses
To wet your pen
The Jolteon Feb 2018
Drip drip
Lips left silent
One wish
Don't waste it on tonight
Summer bliss
Forgotten over snowstorms
Remembering again
Holding your hand
Jan 2018 · 168
Alcohol Problems
The Jolteon Jan 2018
Always going back to back
With shots to the liver
Never thought of what might come

Always lost bring myself to the giver
Asking to be forgiven
And for life unknown

Always ended up getting paid
In full
Confidence, violence, and inflated egos

Can we please play truth or dare
What are you really here for?
Leave forever
Jan 2018 · 135
Everywhere I Go
The Jolteon Jan 2018
Dear the wildest one
That I never won
I tried my best hand
At the races
But I came up short
Too many fours and fives
No aces

Dear the warmest one
I chased you away
You kept me close at night
Like a mother would read
To a son

Dear the violent one
I tried and tried
You decided to stay
You lost your mind
I guess I paid
Jan 2018 · 112
Secret Stoner
The Jolteon Jan 2018
Light up
In the depths
Of my heart

Darker than
The heart of night
I blaze

I set trees
Ablaze
While music plays

I dance away
The day
I made
Jan 2018 · 172
Bitter Returns
The Jolteon Jan 2018
Only when I inhale
Breathe in
Then let it back out

Am I able to be found
Chess piece off the board
Returned to the crown
Jan 2018 · 144
The Sad Poets Society
The Jolteon Jan 2018
Do tears make you blink
Or thoughts of diamond rings
Soft lips softer kiss
And skating rinks

Tear bite size pieces
Off of you for me to eat
A whole meal would just leave me
Empty and incomplete

Like lines from the worst song
Your voice lingers
Like a cranberry
You’re sweet but also sour

**** your drunken threats
Incomplete thoughts
Incomplete *****
Is all you ever gave

A time for change
Times are changing
Wake up and open your eyes
I’m wide awake and outside
Jan 2018 · 255
Sobriety
The Jolteon Jan 2018
We used to have drunken ***
Until you moved out west
Decided to blame me

Sending music from afar
Wondering if it matters to you

Feeling empty
Like I’m missing
Jet fuel
Rushing through my veins
Feel like I’m missing a flame
That burned deep inside
Kept alive
By drunken nights
I feel dry
Like someone left out to die
Deeply empty inside
Wondering where’s my fire
The Jolteon Jan 2018
I guess you work
Until you die
In the meantime
Waste away on tablets
Sell yourself
Until you're dry
Only hope for life
The love of another
Rather than of all others
You work and then you cry
Because you realize
That all you ever did
Was make someone else money
Jan 2018 · 109
Dancing in the Rain
The Jolteon Jan 2018
When you feel fresh
Fresh faced
Faced with fresh challenges
Willing to forget
Trying again
Trying something new
Jan 2018 · 132
Companions
The Jolteon Jan 2018
I guess I should
Just take my time
In trying to find you

Except that every day
I feel my heart break
Thinking about the time I waste

Maybe that means one day
It will finally lead me to you
The time I spend wishing I was asleep

Stuck in the worst dream
I feel tears stream down my face
Hold my hand while I try and escape
Initially this was about women, and about loneliness, but I realized after reading it that it's about trying to find happiness
Dec 2017 · 137
Long Distance Silences
The Jolteon Dec 2017
I guess that I miss you
Like I used to miss you before
Before we knew who we really were

I miss seeing you
Like ten years gone
Now I’m begging you to stay

Your hair still curly
Your smile still holding back
Exactly what you don’t want to say

That the last time I saw you
Our lips locked on that red couch
You were dating someone else

Like every time I see you
You’re still able to break me down
Something always slips out

You’ve been on my mind
I know we’re both just passing time
But would you come back just to see me
I always just want you back
Dec 2017 · 107
December Admissions
The Jolteon Dec 2017
Looks like I'm smoking
But I'm just breathing
Looks like I'm choking
But I'm just heaving
Up comes everything
That ever kept me down
I feel like drinking
But I'm scared I'll wash away
Dec 2017 · 122
Breaking Up Ups and Downs
The Jolteon Dec 2017
Terrible ***
More awkward
Than a latex dress

A ******* mess
Empty bottles
And signs of distress

Unwise bets
Loveless ***, lots of girls
More regrets
Dec 2017 · 123
:D
The Jolteon Dec 2017
:D
Yay I can post poems again...
Wasn't working for a while
Dec 2017 · 228
Quick Money
The Jolteon Dec 2017
Sick money
Trick money
Funny money
To shut you up

Sticky money
Real slick money
Not your money
Never was yours money

Development interests
Trickle down business
Techie politicians
Is all you’ll get
This poem is about neoliberal, pro-market development policies within cities in the US. Cities are controlled by neoliberal, business friendly, development friendly governments. Cities like SF see politicians sell the city to the highest bidder for scraps in place of their profits. In the mean time regular and working class people continue to be displaced.
Nov 2017 · 129
Cursed
The Jolteon Nov 2017
Stuck between wasting away
And going out to struggle
For the people
Always for the people
Break through this prison I create
Weighted down lungs full of liqour
Liver full of rust
Hangover next morning’s kiss
Nov 2017 · 152
Fall Too Often
The Jolteon Nov 2017
Keep trying to be
Something I’m not
How haed can
It really be
To be true to yourself

Trying so hard to be
Someone I want to be
Myself
Be myself
In the person
Who is the best of me
Nov 2017 · 163
Racks and Handles
The Jolteon Nov 2017
I have 30 different friends
They all sit in the fridge
I only take them out
When I’m killing them
I have 100 different friends
All sinking in a bottle
I pour them all out
When I hit the throttle
Friends = Alcohol
Nov 2017 · 156
Unthanksgiving
The Jolteon Nov 2017
Cover yourself
With smallpox blankets
Fill your cups
With lead filled water
Meet on land
With oil pipes underneath
Eat the food
Delivered from colonies
Give no thanks
To any oppressor
Give all power
To the people
Nov 2017 · 311
The Power of the Oppressed
The Jolteon Nov 2017
Power
Corrupts
From the fingertips
Of predators
Comes the grip
Of oppression
Only from this tyranny
Can we ourselves
Emancipate and be emancipated
From patriarchy, capitalism, nationalism
This is originally specifically about patriarchy - but patriarchy is inherently tied to capitalism, imperialism, and colonialism.
Nov 2017 · 159
Monday
The Jolteon Nov 2017
After friday
Saturday
Sunday
Comes me
After the lights
Come back on
You remember
My number
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