Let it out
Fragments of a past
Ship battered against the waves
Endlessly coming
I hold on to emotions
Lifejackets that sink you
Until I'm buried in worry
That stare pretends to care

Everything waking up in time
It all counts down so quickly
What does it really mean to be
Still treading until I can dive down deep
Slowly untangling these threaded vines
The time escapes me if I don't make it
I used to be trapped under a plastic cap
Break it just to run from the past
Not trying to be completed or conceited
Just come fully as I am
The warmth I feel from you is badly needed
But I breathe deep so I can give it back
Stripped down bare with projections as clothing
Fears of judgment and shame reside
The honest truth is that I'm still learning
Creating space so my truths don't hide

I cry at work cause I feel the pain
Everyday I see it coming down
Everyone sees the feeling of hopelessness
Cracked out babies laying on the sidewalk
Rise with the masses
Don't try and be a rocket on this earth
Leaving your friends and family behind
The community is all we know
The further you go the less you know
Listen to the one that teaches an endless lesson
What you are searching for exists inside
Don't run from the love of others
When you realize that getting your own
Meant leaving your own on their own
Strip down to your real skin
Keep your heart to the concrete and feel it beat

Muni bus rides
I swear the sky shines bright
Lost in lustless thoughts
Struggles for a better life
Thoughts of drinks and let downs
Burning earth and deep poverty
Loss of hope and emotion
What does it take to wake up
Kept restless and dormant
I swear everyday
Everything is ******* real
Don't look away
He's got a needle in his ear
The city attacks him
The corporations mask it
The oil leaks out thick

Thoughts in my head
All swirling and spinning
Just when I left her bed
I thought I could understand
What it means to not possess
Not care about excess
Wanting to hold on till the end
Control someone with ***
Be ok with our own impulses
Kissing more boys
You said kissing more girls
That's when thoughts start to spill
You said "see more vaginas"
I didn't know what that meant
Do you like guys?
I couldn't lie and said yes
Not knowing what it meant
I was honest and sincere
Scared about holding on
And being tied down
Scared of hurting someone else
Scared of not being myself
Scared of regretting
Scared of forgetting
Who am I
I still don't know
But I like your bed
And thoughts in your head
Pulling a warm blanket over me
You said it's ok just to be
Don't get lost in the future
Be here in the moment
Don't hold on too tight
Or you'll never let go
Strangle yourself with ego
Or release your chains

Fighting myself to come out
Fighting to be who I am
Fighting to be comfortable
Fighting for myself
And for those around me
Loving myself as I am
Loving my fears and my mistakes
Loving my faults and tears
Loving everything I thought I hated