The eternal lie filled fact,
That all fall for at some time or other
which is
Love

I’ve learnt that it hurts
That it is a lie
But others have not
And I cannot see why they carry on
Trying to win
The useless game of
Love

I’ve learnt about hoping
Jumping for the best
And falling below satisfaction
To a point of pain and despair
But I’ve learnt how to carry on
How to slowly crawl back up to the safe place
Away from the painful myth of
Love

And every time I regret it
The jump that caused the fall
The pain, the destruction within me
Caused by something else,
Love

But I am not like the others
I can realise the stupid fact
I’m addicted to the jumping
The hoping for a better place and feeling
The need of feeling better within myself
And making them feel better too,
Love

I need that feeling
I know the pains and lies
But I want to win the unbeatable game
To be higher than now
Higher than I’ve ever been
On a wonderful set
Love

Yet I am also clever enough to see
To see that what goes up
Has to come down
And will carry on down until rock bottom
Just to fall again, further down
And all because of that faithful jump
That leap of unnecessary need
Love

Not this time
It won’t happen again
I want it to
And I don’t want it to
I want the perks
But the contract is flawed
Made for the personal satisfaction of the others
Love

This time I can guarantee
I’m jumping for something I can
Something that I can achieve
Something that is not too hopeless
Something where I can be happy
And not feel the drop
The ultimate low
Love

This is different
I can feel it literally leaving my veins as I speak
This really isn’t like love
Unlike anything I’ve ever felt
Even different than the living of this discontinued life
Death

They ******* up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were ****** up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.

I can't forget the good days
Whenever I see you
Think of you
They flash back with a magnificent glow
I wish we could go back one day
Yeah, these days are good
The hinting
The poking
It's all fun and great
But it's not the same

Once upon a time when I looked into your eyes
You'd look back and smile
As if happiness itself was there
Living
Loving
Like i loved you
Love you
And i miss them days

The days where we'd hug and it would mean something
Not just a goodbye
More like a hello to something else
We'd hug and actually hug
No slide
No push away
No forced prolongment
Just happiness

When I'd send a ':*' and you'd reply with one
And when you'd send me one with any other intent but making josh jealous
Those days were good
But they've gone
And I can't forget them

For once I'm seeing facts, no idealistic thoughts
The dreams continue
Staying awake is the only way to stay safe
I know I want her
Need her
But I can't show her
It's not what she needs
So it's not what I want

Risking upsetting her
Something I rarely want to do
Rarely can do
And it tears me apart as I want an unachievable status
Happiness with her

But that's a contradiction
Her being happy
And her being with me
They can't happen at the same time
And her coming happy comes before me being happy


And it always will

The double from bell
The double from *****
The start of a vision
The end of a lose

The rain from above
The wind in the trees
What a beautiful day
With a beautiful breeze

My love for you
Is strong and grand
And yet it makes me
Weak and bland

My love for you
Is pure and clear
And makes me feel
No 'mild' fear

My love for you
Has been opaque
But yet feels like
My worst mistake