The undiagnosed.

The pain I feel,
Living without diagnosis,
Angers me much,
Beause I can't tell those closest.

The stigma it has,
Would **** my career,
My friends would all run,
For that I do fear.

In the gutter one day,
The next I'm on Mars,
Laying in bed,
Or speeding in cars.

For I do wish too know,
What's inside my head,
Mentally ill?
Or creative instead?

It saddens me to know that most will never understand the darkness stirring inside.

Intrusive thoughts smashing around like high tide in the depths of winter, the misery and anger that they bring feels enough to crush me.

But it doesn't.....

They say that every cloud has a silver lining....

And for me, I know that if I can hang on and ride the black waves of depression for long enough it will end just as it always does, and my life will start again.

Soaring high like the eagles, the joy and energy of life will blast it's way back through my vains once more.

The misery and intrusive thoughts will be replased with happiness, and crative ideas as the anger and despair are washed away like a rapid tidal current.

But.......

I know this will not last forever.