Previously
I've only written for a website
Now I'm writing
for myself.
It's different,
Uncensored.
It's reminders for me.
About things I struggle with
Daily.
Where I know
I should be.
So that I cannot
Convince myself
Of a tempting lie.

I am usually
Pretty stupid.
I don't do it intentionally.
But it happens a lot.
So please forgive me my idiocy.

Don't go by the river
Unless you are a rabbit.
Because rabbits can go on
Grand adventures to distant
Bouncy houses owned by
Fire breathing
Toads.
Men and women
Are like muffins.
I'm not sure why
Or if they are
But they should be.
Jumping is always bad
Unless it's not.
Beware the pencil
Unless you are wielding a
Muscle-bound rubber chicken.
If you aren't
Jump for your life.
I hate you
Except I don't.
A definition for literally
In the dictionary
Is not literally.
What is a man
But a sack of rice?
Eyes are squishy.
You are breaking the mold
And becoming misshapen.
Suffer me to
Dance!
Drop the bass
And then pick it up
Clean that bass off of the floor!
That was a very fragile bass
And you broke it!
Du hast.
Heavy metal!
Huminaminaminaminaminamina
That's enough
That was a lie
Or was it?
Pervert.
Looking at my elbow
Save that for the bedroom!
Rock on.

Differences
Are what bring us together.
Because without differences
How is it special
To have
Something in common?

Adviser conniver
Bring me some cheese
I'm lost in a forest
Full up with trees.
My father a lion
My mother a *****
I just may collapse
If I don't find a bench.
From sunrise to sunset
I wander so lost
Soon Winter will come
I'll be covered in frost.
The blue of the sky
The chill of the air.
I fear for my life
Should I come cross a bear.
This has no real meaning
I felt the need to write.
Trying to stay awake
Wish this could be goodnight.

For some reason
My favorite words
Are violent.
Rip
Tear
Gouge
Splinter
Hollow
Etc.

Even talking over the phone
No
Because we're talking over the phone
I think your voice is
Amazing...

Sometimes
If I don't spend enough time
With myself
The voice in
My head
Stops being
Mine.
Your voice
Is yours
Hold onto it
Don't take the voice
Of someone
Else.

I'm sitting here waiting
Waiting
For this to end
Everything does eventually.
Almost everything. I'm not talking about anything specific
Unless I made you think of something
Because I'm talking about that.

I awake
And I reach for
You
But I feel only pillows

Say,
Do you ever walk away
And hope you'll be pulled back?

Lately I've been
Wandering
Slipping
Fading
But today
I am on my way
Back to You.
There is resistance
And that is how I know
That I am going the
Right way.
I was pulling away
Hiding myself.
But I am on my way
Back.
Back
Into your arms.
Because that is
Where I belong.

My soul yearns
For your presence
As that is everything
That I need.

Scented wax
Oh so soothing
My nephew gets his nose all over it
Because its good stuff
And he's a little one.
When you said you want one
I assume you meant like him?

Science
A paper
Distracting, but important
And about a topic I found stupid

And of course
Being corny
And without a way to release corniness
I wish I had time nowadays

Well, well
I am well
Lately I haven't fallen down
...
A well.
So I'm, well, well!
Well, bye!

I read your words
Combinations of
Combinations of words
Combined
In a way that is uniquely
Yours.
I find it awe-inspiring
Truly.
You make me want to
Cry.
When I hear your feelings
Expressed so beautifully.
Your worries
So sincere.
It makes me worry
Which makes me stop worrying
Because it shows me that I
Still care.

My eyes are wet.
It can't be tears
Because I don't cry.
I think some of my
Happiness
Love
Joy
Is seeping out.
I blame you
But I don't really mind.

TheOmnipresentTreeStumpHurtsForTheTrees

So it seems that
The popular opinion
Is that not being desensitized is some flaw.
That when pressured to see things I hate I should just
Be quiet?
And that I should be reminded constantly that I am a terrible person
Because I am sensitive.
"It's just a movie."
...
So?
It's not my fault it makes me feel horrible inside!
I want to participate
But if I say how I feel honestly, I get
"Of course."
"You're always like this!"
I know I am
I don't try to.
"You're always against everything,"
I'm sorry for my views.
That's who I am.
But I can try to change, if it's what you really want.
...
Sorry.

I can be happy somewhere
But not here
Never here

It seems like
Instead of being a relief
It is a reminder.

This world is so messed up
So fallen
So cracked
Robbed
Objectified
Run by greed
Lust (A different type of greed)
I don't even watch the news
Because it's all
Pain.
And it hurts me.
Because I feel guilty for it.
All of it.
I live a normal life
By many standards
But it is so privileged.
I have the luxury to whine about my own problems.
I should be out helping people
Not sitting at my computer
Writing "poetry"
Yuck
I'm such an idiot.
I cannot work yet
Even drive on my own
Why is that limiting me?
I want to HELP PEOPLE
Save people.
Though I like learning things
I shouldn't be in school
When there's so many people without FOOD
Without HOMES.
Who am I to complain about my
Tiny problems?
My life is run by greed.
That's all there is to it.
But I can't escape.
My regrets constantly grow
And maybe when I get a chance
I can HELP PEOPLE.
Somehow.

I wear glasses
But they're a pain.
They get in the way.
And I look better without them.
Plus, they distance me
From the world
Because the world I normally see
Is blurry
Fuzzy
Like a painting
Of some sort.
It makes me wonder.
Which world is real?
The one that lets me see everything clearly at a distance?
Or the world
That forces me to get close to something to understand it?
And I wonder
Which do I prefer?

Sometimes I wish
That I could cry.
Sometimes I feel
Irredeemable.
Sometimes
I feel like the worst person ever.
I think...
I am.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm...
Sorry.

Give me a word
Any word
Because I have none
Give me a word
For what you're thinking about
For what I know
Give me a word
Because your words can
Bring mine back to life.

What is a word
If not a collection
Of sounds.
Can you describe
What a word is
Without using words?
A good definition
Never uses
The word it is
Defining.
So define a word
Without words.
Try for me
Because I am curious.

Watch out for the potatoes.  They will find you, and they will smell you.  When they taste you, run.  You will have infinite time to escape, so go while you still can.  I won't hold them off!  The room is white, I am not.  I am a very light brown, like all "white" men and cats.  Except cats, of course.  And polar bears.

I'm sick
I have been for awhile
And I want it to go away
Because it hurts
Partially
But also
Because I don't get to see you.

The longing I cannot express
This insatiable
Yearning.
I cannot shake this feeling.
I'm missing something.
Someone
Some**you

Hey
You
Yes, you.
Guess what?
...
I love you.
You're beautiful.
You have unsurpassed worth.
You have a different perspective.
You have a personality that is all your own.
You have some great memories.
So remember
That
**I love you